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Old 04-10-2010, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
706 posts, read 1,477,976 times
Reputation: 858

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Guess kids are like puppies - go ahead and rehome them when they don't behave.

Now, I'm sure this seven year old boy was a handful, and quite possibly needed hospitalization or residential treatment for violence and aggression. But the mom didn't even take him to a psychologist!!!! They just 'consulted' them.

She sent this boy back on a plane BY HIMSELF with a note saying no thanks, don't want him anymore!

This just makes me sick.

Grandmother: Boy terrorized adoptive family in US - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100410/ap_on_re_us/us_russia_adopted_boy - broken link)
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Old 04-10-2010, 03:28 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,939,881 times
Reputation: 2164
It isn't a secret that many American adoption agencies handle adoptions of children who have extreme problems without divulging that information to the adoptive families. It comes as no surprise that the Russians do the same thing.

It's unfortunate that this little boy was sent so far from his roots with his problems. It's unfortunate that Russia doesn't take better care of their kids in orphanages. It's equally unfortunate that the same problems exist in our foster care system.
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Old 04-10-2010, 05:13 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,044,931 times
Reputation: 30256
I saw this newstory on television last night. It's disgusting that the grandmother put a 7 year old on a plane to fly halfway around the globe. She made arrangements with a STRANGER over the INTERNET to pick him up at the airport and drop him off at the adoption agency. Only a sick person would do such a thing. The child told Russian CYS that the mother used to grab him by his hair.

This is a serious international incident. Russia is threatening to stop all US adoptions. I wouldn't blame any country from stopping adoptions to the US. Our country shouldn't allow anyone to put a child on an airplane and send them out of the country without another adult.
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Old 04-10-2010, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,698,855 times
Reputation: 11309
The entire Adoption Inc., is a scam.

It's like adopting a dog from the humane society. In some posh circles, it's also the trendy thing to do.
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Old 04-10-2010, 09:29 PM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,066,220 times
Reputation: 4815
I don't see why people feel the need to adopt from foreign countries when there is thousands of foster kids here in the US. Although, a friend of mine tried to adopt a child from Russia (it never worked out) and she said the conditions of the orphanage were horrible. It's been proven that Russian children who've been adopted are more to prone to behavioral problems so I can see why this kid could have been a handful. BUT - this isn't a dog we're talking about here! You can't just send him back to the orphanage!!

People are so irresponsible these days.. at the very least they could have put him up for adoption here in the US where he would have had a chance at a good life. However we don't know the full story.. perhaps these people had tried counselling or behavioral therapy and nothing had worked. I'm not trying to excuse the incident, but like I said, we don't know the whole story.
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Old 04-11-2010, 08:54 AM
 
8,313 posts, read 8,593,884 times
Reputation: 25959
The entire Adoption Inc., is a scam.

It's like adopting a dog from the humane society. In some posh circles, it's also the trendy thing to do.

.................................................. .................................................. .

Your post leaves many questions unanswered, but as an adoptive parent I take offense at the suggestion that "Adoption Inc." as you put it is all a scam.

I agree there are adoption agencies that charge way too much money for their services. I agree there are people who adopt who should not be allowed to do so. I personally am not aware of anyone who chooses to adopt just because "its the trendy thing to do" as you put it.

Adoption is a much denigrated way for people to build families who cannot do so through natural means. Alot of people seem to look down on it. What such people seem unable to comprehend is that whether an abandoned child is in Russia or in the USA he/she still needs a home.

Personally, I wish it was considered as an alternative much more by single mothers who instead often choose having an abortion or keeping and raising a child under very difficult economic and psychological circumstances.

No one will defend the actions of this mother in sending this kid back to Russia with a note pinned to his shirt. However, to judge the entire practice of adoption by this individual and by a few others is just silly. One could just as soon judge all parents by the small percentage of cases of neglect and abuse that occur. By that logic, all parenthood should be avoided.
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Old 04-11-2010, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
746 posts, read 1,903,344 times
Reputation: 431
The real mistake that this parent made is not going back to the adoption agency and working with them when she realized that she could no longer be a parent to this child. Hiring somebody over the internet was foolish and unsafe.
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Old 04-11-2010, 09:39 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,044,931 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by geekduo View Post
Hiring somebody over the internet was foolish and unsafe.
Foolish and unsafe anywhere, but especially in Russia where human trafficking is big business for the Russian Mafia.
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Old 04-11-2010, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,435 posts, read 41,675,230 times
Reputation: 47010
As an adoptive mother of 3 and with much experience and knowledge of international adoption I feel I must comment.

Adopting older children CAN be filled with many misinformation and behavior problems but obviously it does work out too.

The adoption agency is 90% responsible for this fiasco. They should have vetted the child and the orphanage better. I doubt it was done at all. Also they should have followed up with this family so this woman would not have felt so desperate as to do this unthinkable act. Many adoptions in this country are interrupted, more than you realize.

And please don't be so naive-as I was- to think people involved in adoption-either domestic or international are not in it for the money. And believe me there is alot of money involved and very little is accounted for.

But for the ignorant among us who keep stirring the flames with comments like "There are so many children in foster care here who need families- why don't you adopt domestically" and international children being fashion trends, I want you to realize this isn't necessarily so. Yes there are many children in foster care but not are all adoptable for a whole litany of reasons.

Foreign adoption is very expensive and most of us who adopt internationally would much rather be able to adopt domestically and not spend in the tens of thousands of dollars for international adoption. But the long waiting times here, lack of young children and the possibility of a birth mother changing her mind after we have bonded make domestic adoption not as attractive as some would have you think.

Please get the facts before you pass judgment on those of us who love our children and have moved heaven and earth to get them here.
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Old 04-11-2010, 11:49 AM
 
664 posts, read 1,714,008 times
Reputation: 234
I hope they throw the book at this "used to be but no longer a mother"..hiring a strager to pick up a kid for $200..wow..I know the boy was difficult but how could you just put him on a plane, bye sorry it didn't work out...such a shame.. Even if the Russian adoption agency didn't disclose all his problems it's just not k to send a child back alone like that. She should have flown back with the child if she didn't want him anymore. I hope this lady is never able to adopt again.
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