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Old 05-27-2010, 05:38 AM
 
219 posts, read 458,828 times
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Were you adopted? If so, how old were you at the time? Has it ever been an obstacle/issue? How do you feel about your adoptive parents/family? How do you feel about your biological parents/family?

Would you ever adopt kids? If so, how important are the child's age, country of origin, physical/mental abilities, race, and/or gender?
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Old 05-27-2010, 05:46 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
153 posts, read 212,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin15776 View Post
Were you adopted? If so, how old were you at the time? Has it ever been an obstacle/issue? How do you feel about your adoptive parents/family? How do you feel about your biological parents/family?

Would you ever adopt kids? If so, how important are the child's age, country of origin, physical/mental abilities, race, and/or gender?
I was adopted in 1965 at the age of 5 months, yes it was always an issue. I am the oldest and the only one adopted in a family of 3 kids. It was an issue of not feeling like I belonged and at no fault of my parents, they loved me unconditionally, it was my own internal doubts. My dad was AWESOME!! Miss him everyday. My mom....things are great now but she had mental issues when I was growing up so it was difficult at times. I met my Birth mom 8 years ago and although she is nice, I am so glad I was given up. I finally realized I was where I belong.

Would I adopt, it would depend on the circumstance but I have no reason to at this point. I don't think any of the above are important, but again it would depend on the circumstance.
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Old 05-27-2010, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 2,894,107 times
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My husband and I want to adopt, but not for at least 5 years. But I'm afraid it will be hard for us since we have tattoos. Not like mickey mouse on an ankle either...does anyone have any info about this? A few people have told us it's no big deal but since it's been a "big deal" at jobs (having to cover them) we don't see how it wouldn't be in adoption.

We aren't really interested in overseas adoption. Of course I haven't competely looked into it, so I don't know all the facts. But it sometimes seems like people just do it for the cuteness or exotic factor. And it also seems like, sometimes, they just think foriegn children are better off in America just because American culture is "better". I have no desire to separate a child from thier culture and heritage. So I won't be getting a cute little Korean baby and naming her Beth. And I don't think taking Beth to a museum every couple of years counts as keeping her culture in her life.

I know it would be really hard to adopt a child who has one or more disabilities. Especially when combining that with the special emotional needs a lot of children who are put up for adoption have. I think it would be better to take this on if we decided to adopt a second time.

As far as gender, my husband and I both lean towards a boy, but are pretty open. I guess it depends on the kid. We're thinking of adopting at around toddler age because they are less "in demand" than newborns. For people who've adopted, do you feel a pull towards a specific kid? Or is that only in movies? While I like that idea, I don't like the idea of "interviewing" a kid to see if I like him enough. That seems really cruel to me.

I have two friends that were adopted. They're both pretty normal. One of them is very needy of attention -postitive or negative- it doesn't matter. But that could have nothing to do with her adoption or it might, who knows. The other is very materialistic. All her stuff was the one constant in her life. She was in 3 or 4 foster homes until she turned 18. She was kicked out of one of them that she was in for almost 10 years at 16 for failing a class and the one she was in after that because thier 4 yr old biological son "didn't like her". They fought too much and thier bological child comes first. They wouldnt just keep her for 2 years so she could graduate.

Wow, so many questions! Very interesting thread to me.
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Old 05-27-2010, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,391,840 times
Reputation: 10958
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin15776 View Post
Were you adopted? If so, how old were you at the time? Has it ever been an obstacle/issue? How do you feel about your adoptive parents/family? How do you feel about your biological parents/family?

Would you ever adopt kids? If so, how important are the child's age, country of origin, physical/mental abilities, race, and/or gender?
I was not. I have two cousins that were adopted (by the same parents). They weren't related before the adoption, but they're legally brother and sister. I don't know how the sister feels, but I get a sense that the brother feels a disconnect from his adoptive parents, and the rest of that side of the family, from talking with him. He keeps harping on "your" family, instead of "our" family, when talking about my dad, my uncle (his dad), etc. Like he's trying to disassociate himself from any of us. I think I might know one reason why, if it's a problem that runs in the family.
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Old 05-27-2010, 09:10 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,945 posts, read 7,551,067 times
Reputation: 7729
I'm not really sure this is a relationship forum subject ?
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Old 05-27-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,630,778 times
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Nobody knows this except my gullible 9 year old. I was adopted by a highly intelligent alien civilization.
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Old 05-27-2010, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,391,840 times
Reputation: 10958
I used to joke that my parents put me up for adoption, but no one would have me so they were stuck with me.
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Old 05-27-2010, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 2,894,107 times
Reputation: 1573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Adopting parents can never be parents. No matter how much they try to act like it.
How do you know?
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Old 05-27-2010, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 25,565,338 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
How do you know?
Because blood is thicker than water
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