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That's funny that is the undertone I get in Chicago also. I am originally from Detroit, but African Americans are pretty arrogant thing. The vibe is we run this place even if we dont know how.
However in Chicago white people still have control and did not run out like Detroit. African Americans tend to act a certain way of low self esteem here and "the know your place is more subtle here", but as an African American female I can feel it.
I did not suffer hardly any weird self esteem issues until I move there.
I have family from Chicago and other parts of the Midwest. My father is also from the Midwest. According to him, that "know your place" mentality is more evident in the South. I've seen it for myself. My sister has had self-esteem issues living in the South, and so have I. Part of the reason I'm trying to escape the part of the USA I'm living in. I have a different cultural process. I see myself differently.
I think the thing with Detroit is that it has been that way for a long time now.
We live in a Eurocentric society and culture that's why. The standard here is white so the more you deviate from that norm the less attractive you are considered by our society. What does this have to do with finding someone though? Not much.
I think its highly narcissistic to be so consumed with wanting black beauty to be considered the standard of beauty. Why because you're black? Some Asian women are considered beautiful but they also aren't the standard and neither are Hispanic women unless they look more European than Latina. Let the white women have their day in the sun...it really only lasts until they're about 35 and then they become just as invisible or more so as all other women. I say more so in some cases because fair skin ages more quickly. I have no crows feet...no lines...I really do look far younger than most white women my age. Not that it means much since we all turn to hags and old farts eventually. Cultivate your mind Nyanna...looks go.
We live in a Eurocentric society and culture that's why. The standard here is white so the more you deviate from that norm the less attractive you are considered by our society. What does this have to do with finding someone though? Not much.
I think its highly narcissistic to be so consumed with wanting black beauty to be considered the standard of beauty. Why because you're black? Some Asian women are considered beautiful but they also aren't the standard and neither are Hispanic women unless they look more European than Latina. Let the white women have their day in the sun...it really only lasts until they're about 35 and then they become just as invisible or more so as all other women. I say more so in some cases because fair skin ages more quickly. I have no crows feet...no lines...I really do look far younger than most white women my age. Not that it means much since we all turn to hags and old farts eventually. Cultivate your mind Nyanna...looks go.
Narcissistic? Society in general is narcissistic. That is why if you aren't a certain color or of certain aesthetics, many people in that society don't consider a person good enough.
I can understand the way the OP feels because it is like someone taking your self-esteem and ripping it to shreds when you aren't considered "beautiful enough" by many people.
What about societies in Latin America. Watching alot of Spanish-speaking channels, such as Galavision and Univision? I'm seeing a similar thing going on there, where Eurocentric standards of beaut are considered the standard, and non-White people are the majority in Latin America.
West African women can't be the most beautiful, because people's eyes are more attracted to brighter colors. People don't even notice this, it's just subconscious.
Even if there were just two people on earth... two individuals... the lighter individual would be seen as better.
It's like this everywhere on earth... Latin America, Africa, Europe, etc. Women in Japan, I've heard a lot of them dye their hair blonde even, they think blonde hair looks better.
Take a red piece of paper... and a black or brown piece of paper... put them side by side... chances are you'd want to see the red paper more... it is brighter and stands out more.
How is this fair and how is this good for anyone's self esteem?
I have green eyes myself... but I don't doubt many people would prefer to see blue eyes over my own eyes.
It's just how humans are. Bright colors stand out, while dark colors don't.
It's kinda like how people stare at the green leaves on a tree... and hardly look at the brown stump.
On a sidenote: This is ONE person's opinion. What never ceases to amaze me is that some people would take the 'pseudonegative' of one person and absorb it as Gospel. Yet these same people will ignore information and opinions to the contrary.
The bottom line is that people with low self esteem or that have an inferiority complex feed on these negative comments. They literally thrive on them. It is painfully obvious that the only way certain people feel comfortable is by being perpetual "woo is me" broken record. They will ignore a thousand compliments and fixate on the one or two criticisms. Its so very sad.
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