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Old 02-15-2014, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,616,740 times
Reputation: 1478

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((LOL))
I have to laugh at your post "SippiStateBulldogs".

You sound like you're still angry about your ex-wife and her family. That anger shouldn't blanket the entire African Diaspora should it?

Just because you married into a foolishly dysfunctional family ... does that mean you want us all to take our balls and go home??

By the way, my mom was from Mississippi, but she left. Educational system is reportedly horrible there.
I don't want to insult you, but for someone who is supposed to have a Masters Degree, you really could work on your sentence structure and grammar. Just saying.

I totally disagree with your statement about, "Most Africans don't like African Americans and African Americans don't like Africans."

Just saying such a thing gives me a glimpse into why your ex-wife's parents didn't like you.

Also, your use of the word, "Racist" is wrong. Totally wrong. (You must be a member of the younger generation, right? Everything is, "that's racist!")

Dude, dude... dude.
"Racism" is a system. People can be bigoted, and prejudiced ... but to be racist, means you have to have a system that denies privileges, goods, and services to a one or more target groups based upon ethnicity.

Your wife's parents weren't ... "racist."
Black against black may be tribalism ... or some other bias ... but ... surely one so educated is aware of this??

And it pains me to read the self-hatred about ... your ethnic background being so many parts African and this part white and that part Native American. It's symptomatic of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome .... you still haven't risen past the ethocentric stage of development.

You are a Divine Being ... a citizen of the world.
working on that is MORE than enough.
Attachment to the illusion of the package is .. delusion.
The message you're sending is that you're really part human.
Sad .. sad ... sad.
The South is still deep in the legacy of slavery.
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Old 08-14-2017, 07:01 PM
 
15,065 posts, read 19,725,586 times
Reputation: 12235
Really old thread, but here's the reason


People have the BS idea that
"They are black, so why aren't they the same?"

It's like saying that a white American (wealthy) meets a white person from Moldova (poor)
And wonder why they are culturally so different

Black people in American are very likely to cone from a poor family
Africans that comebto the US are likely to cone from an upper class family in their country
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Old 08-14-2017, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,608 posts, read 9,857,719 times
Reputation: 9238
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo View Post
Really old thread, but here's the reason
Yes, it's an old thread, and it was debunked in the thread. Did you read the thread or just the thread title? There may actually be disconnects out there in the real world between Africans and African-Americans but on City-Data there is only the one thread on that topic, not several. It is not that much of a thing. That said, there is likely more antipathy between various flavors of Caribbean Americans and African Americans by my highly non-scientific assessment
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Old 08-15-2017, 12:23 AM
 
7,437 posts, read 5,944,296 times
Reputation: 3799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm View Post
Yes, it's an old thread, and it was debunked in the thread. Did you read the thread or just the thread title? There may actually be disconnects out there in the real world between Africans and African-Americans but on City-Data there is only the one thread on that topic, not several. It is not that much of a thing. That said, there is likely more antipathy between various flavors of Caribbean Americans and African Americans by my highly non-scientific assessment

In the UK there still seems to be antipathy between British blacks of Caribbean derivation and Africans. There is now a movie on Netflix called "Gone too far" that examines this dynamic. Bring it to Miami and replace the Caribbean blacks with American blacks and stick in the Africans as Haitians and the dynamic is the same.

In NYC I think its become quite complex as American and Caribbean blacks have been interacting now significantly for over 100 years. So its a love hate thing. Many American blacks have their Caribbean family. So there is now more understanding. In NYC there is no longer one dominant black culture and there is much two way cultural interaction, so the direct hostilities I think are mainly over.

African and Caribbean immigrants to NYC also have a different dynamic. Seeing each other as fellow black immigrants, and sharing similar perspectives about the black (American) underclass. But also keeping some distance recognizing real cultural differences.

And then we get to the Francophone Africans and the Anglophones. I can say with definite confidence that there are no groups of blacks in NYC more alienated from each other than Francophone and Anglophone Africans are from each other. Each interact more with American blacks.
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:17 PM
 
691 posts, read 920,910 times
Reputation: 643
I am going to have to get the movie "Gone Too Far" as I knew of a case almost like this one. I became friends with a Nigerian
who used to work in our office. His uncle's family came to the U.S. years ago, so his kids grew up here in the U.S. from a young age. His cousin , went to high school here and the AAs had trouble relating to him UNTIL he joined the basketball team
and became very good at it. All of a sudden, he had lots of AA friends.

Now, my friend he had just been in the U.S. for four years of undergrad and was ready to start grad school. When his cousin came to visit and we were all together. Their demeanor was like night and day. The cousin acted just like an American, his cousin acted just like an Nigerian.


I remember I got a Christmas Card from a West African friend, instead of just signing the card like an American would as the card already had greetings written on it. He wrote over everything with an black ink pen "Celestial Greetings and Ceremonious Salutations to the Family " I said to myself, "That is something a West African would do."

I can clearly see now why we would be called "Obruni" if we went to Ghana and I would not be offended.
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:31 PM
 
691 posts, read 920,910 times
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We always would laugh about Black people using "big English" to make an impression on someone. My Nigerian friend said
he would either speak to me in English or Yoruba he did not believe in Pidgin he thought it made Africans look incompetent.

He said if you are going to speak another man's language do it completely or not at all. (I had started speaking to him in
Pidgin when we first met.) I picked up 60% of Krio when I lived with SL people. It would be like, "Did you say such and such?"
"Thats what I thought you said"
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:37 PM
 
7,437 posts, read 5,944,296 times
Reputation: 3799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agbor View Post

I remember I got a Christmas Card from a West African friend, instead of just signing the card like an American would as the card already had greetings written on it. He wrote over everything with an black ink pen "Celestial Greetings and Ceremonious Salutations to the Family " I said to myself, "That is something a West African would do."

I can clearly see now why we would be called "Obruni" if we went to Ghana and I would not be offended.


One of the biggest shocks that blacks from the Americas get when they go to Africa is to discover how formal the myriad of societies in that continent are. They see the wild dancing and assume that it is a free for all.


There are rules and customs that govern every aspect of life and one obeys.....or else. The notion that a West African can just pick what ever spouse who they love is preposterous. If their mother doesn't approve all hell will break loose.


I bet that the Nigerian saw the greetings and thought them silly and frivolous and insulting, so felt that he had to modify them to convey his respect.


We have to varying degrees maintained aspect of African cultures throughout the Americas. What we have lost and will never regain, or even understand is the formality of African culture. The need to adhere to rules and to not question them.


Don't care whether we are American, Cuban, Jamaican or Brazilian, we wouldn't last too long within an African village. And within most African urban dwellers there is a piece of the village in him. That is why marriages between African men and non African black women are so fraught with tensions and often don't last, even if the woman was deeply Afrocentric.


Now among the millennials this is changing, and I bet there are loud screaming sessions between mothers and their daughters.
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:41 PM
 
7,437 posts, read 5,944,296 times
Reputation: 3799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agbor View Post
We always would laugh about Black people using "big English" to make an impression on someone. My Nigerian friend said
he would either speak to me in English or Yoruba he did not believe in Pidgin he thought it made Africans look incompetent.

He said if you are going to speak another man's language do it completely or not at all. (I had started speaking to him in
Pidgin when we first met.) I picked up 60% of Krio when I lived with SL people. It would be like, "Did you say such and such?"
"Thats what I thought you said"


If you speak Pidgin it might be viewed similarly to how an American black will react if a white person speaks black slang. Even if done out of deep respect one wouldn't know if it id done to mock.


A Caribbean person who regularly speaks an English Creole might more get away with it because they will speak their English Creole and get a response in Pidgin. Its quite similar except of course that deeper African formality in how they think.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:32 PM
 
691 posts, read 920,910 times
Reputation: 643
Quote:
Originally Posted by caribny View Post
If you speak Pidgin it might be viewed similarly to how an American black will react if a white person speaks black slang. Even if done out of deep respect one wouldn't know if it id done to mock.


A Caribbean person who regularly speaks an English Creole might more get away with it because they will speak their English Creole and get a response in Pidgin. Its quite similar except of course that deeper African formality in how they think.
Never thought of it like that, Nigeria is a different culture of course, the people from SL liked teaching me
Krio and Mende and Temne words. They were bragging how the Peace Corps people from the U.S. spoke
such good Krio. There was an older Mende gentleman in our group and he gave me a Mende nickname, which
means "son-in-law" or "copper pot" ?. "Demia" He just started calling me that just after we met.

He would tease me saying "If I go ge you dis Mende woman" and our Mende female friend would laugh.

The funny coincidence was she and I were the same shade of copper like Nelson Mandela
her father came to visit to the U.S. and he was navy blue-black. I remember my grandmother using the term to describe someone, but that was the first time I saw someone that dark.

I was thinking maybe my friend ment " my copper colored son-in-law" I wonder if African languages are
contextual?
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Old 08-19-2017, 01:51 PM
 
24,247 posts, read 17,649,189 times
Reputation: 9170
Quote:
Originally Posted by caribny View Post
One of the biggest shocks that blacks from the Americas get when they go to Africa is to discover how formal the myriad of societies in that continent are. They see the wild dancing and assume that it is a free for all.


There are rules and customs that govern every aspect of life and one obeys.....or else. The notion that a West African can just pick what ever spouse who they love is preposterous. If their mother doesn't approve all hell will break loose.


I bet that the Nigerian saw the greetings and thought them silly and frivolous and insulting, so felt that he had to modify them to convey his respect.


We have to varying degrees maintained aspect of African cultures throughout the Americas. What we have lost and will never regain, or even understand is the formality of African culture. The need to adhere to rules and to not question them.


Don't care whether we are American, Cuban, Jamaican or Brazilian, we wouldn't last too long within an African village. And within most African urban dwellers there is a piece of the village in him. That is why marriages between African men and non African black women are so fraught with tensions and often don't last, even if the woman was deeply Afrocentric.


Now among the millennials this is changing, and I bet there are loud screaming sessions between mothers and their daughters.
I know a Black American woman who has taught in the village in the Congo for a year. She's lasting just fine.

Don't speak for ALL BLACK people. You have great difficulty in the concept that not all people from a nationality are this way or that way.

Even if the majority of African diaspora could not survive long in an African village, there are those that can and do.
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