Difficulty adjusting... (Birmingham, Huntsville, Hoover: environment, home equity, relocate)

[zenjenn]

It is interesting hearing about these experiences. People often ask me how I am adjusting and.. honestly, I don't feel like I've had to adjust much at all. I feel very at home here in Huntsville, even though it's only been 2 months and I'm in a little apartment.

I'm sure part of it is because I am in Huntsville as opposed to a smaller town but really. I keep thinking I am *supposed* to be homesick, but I'm just.. not. Part of me actually feels a little guilty that I'm not missing my friends and family more. My whole family is enjoying Alabama and we havn't missed California even slightly. My oldest daughter sometimes laments that she misses her old bed and room late at night, but that's it.

It's kinda surreal, I keep wondering if the homesickness is going to hit me at some point?

[Keeper]

Jenn, It does depend on the person, I have always liked everywhere I have ever lived, I would like to go back to visit but not to live.
Hence my saying..
Look for the good as the bad shows up soon enough.

Holidays are tough for most ppl who have just left family and friends. It will get better if you don't focus on only the bad.

We are here for you MP33..

[Socal2Bham]

My $.02.... it's partially because you moved to Trussville. I say that only because I have met you and you are not Trussville material. No offense meant to Trussville peeps. If you didn't have kids I would say you would fit in more in the Forest Park/downtown area.

That is not to say you would not still be having some adjustment issues because I know it's also partially due the fact that you were used to having your family nearby. This aspect is probably just a matter of time. You've only been here 3 months.

There are no guarantees though. You may never fully adjust. Again, the kid issue complicates matters some. On that front I can offer little advice but you know I'm around to listen anytime. Sometimes that is all that is needed when you're chick anyway.

I know you've been leary of posting here for fear of coming across as a complainer (sorry to rat you out) but I think you might find it theraputic to discuss it here. Everyone here has been so helpful and kind, I really don't think anyone is going to tell you to pack your bags and get out if you express your feelings.

[rugratref]

Give it time sweetie...it does get better.

My little family and I moved from the SE Oklahoma and NE Texas area (lived on either side of the state line for many years) to the Florida panhandle. It was a BIG adjustment. It took about 2-3 years of my missing family like mad to finally BLOOM where I'd been planted. About a year later, my Hubby lost his job and we were in a sense, forced, to move to South Carolina. Imagine trying to BLOOM in an area that you felt forced to move to! Plus, putting us even further away from family and friends! We've been here for over 2 years now and I have yet to BLOOM! It's not a bad area, just not for me.
So, now Hubby is looking at a job possiblity in the Mobile area as well as back in the Florida panhandle...and I NEVER thought I'd say this...but I'm rooting for the Mobile job! After posting and reading on this forum, researching the area (Baldwin county) that we'd be living in, and recalling my experience with people I'd met from Alabama...Alabama has become far more appealing to me than Florida!

From what I've seen, the people on this forum are for the most part nice, friendly people...vent away...don't think anyone is going to tell you to take a flying leap or anything like that. HUGS to you...chin up!

[Threestep]

OK, I wanted to stay out of the discussion.

I do not think AL is your adjustment issue. Your family has been visiting. Your kids are in the process of cutting the umbilical cord. That process and moving fell together. Having time on your hands can be a frightening experience.

[MsMuir]

Originally Posted by NicoleC

Well said, MsMuir.

At least I'm not the only one that made that mistake.

LOL! It's all been an experience, that's for sure! But you know what they say, "what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger"

[NicoleC]

Jenn, I was initially very happy about the transition, and it took at 6 months for the "what have I DONE?!" to hit me.

But on the other hand, you may not experience it at all. You have your family with you, and that can make all the difference.

Yes, MsMuir, moving on and making adjustments. I really don't want to pick everything up again, but on the other hand I'd just as soon sell this place and get it over with. And the more I see of it, the more I really do like the East Huntsville area, which is where I hope to get to.

[zenjenn]

I also didn't move out to the country. It seems like universally posts I've seen from people who moved to Alabama and regret it, are people who moved to the country.

When it comes to any kind of mid-sized city or bigger, I think this is increasingly becoming a global world. Shopping at the Super Target here is no different than shopping at my Super Target in California. There are many of the same restaurants, ice cream shops, even the mall looks the same. Lots of people are transplanted from all over the place. Anything you can't find you can order from the internet with a few keystrokes.
In cities, there are lots of transplants so you meet lots of different people in a similar situation as you are in, etc.

I dunno, maybe some severe homesickness will hit me like a ton of bricks at some point, but it's not just that I'm happy with the transition - it's that I don't feel like there's been much of a transition at all. But then, I didn't have many particularly close relationships in California except for my family that came with me.

[sunshine girl]

Needed no adjustment whatsoever when we moved to Sarasota FL. Loved it there, made good friends. Miss it all. Just costs too much to live there. When we moved here to Springfield, MO it was a totally different experience. This place on the surface seems great.....low housing costs, low taxes, low unemployment, good business growth, beautiful countryside, low crime, good schools, etc..etc..etc.....but.....it's just not "us". We lived in an area similar to Spfld. before moving to FL, so we thought it would be similar here. Been here a year now, and have still not adjusted. Looking seriously at Huntsville, read all the posts, but don't post often myself. Some places are just not "right" for everyone. We bought a house here, so will be here for another year, but are actively researching other areas. Good luck to you and I hope all works out for you and yours......Sincerely.......

[harry chickpea]

Adjustment is more than a surface issue. Anyone who moves into an area with different cultural values and/or mores eventually has to do a little soul searching and decide what to keep from their old life and what to embrace or dismiss in the new one. The process can be a challenge, can take months or years, and sometimes it might seem like slogging through mud until there is an acclimatization.

Change can be especially challenging if you are coming from a high-energy, high-social interaction environment to one that is more laid-back and has fewer resources. Another challenge in the south can be the intentional introversion of philosophical, scientific and religious concepts that comes from folks resident in a world where diversity isn't fully present, and there has been an intense focus on studying particular aspects of the Bible for generations. To the newbie to the south, moving can seem almost like establishing residencey in an open-campus Bible college.

In many ways, living in the (rural) south is like reaching into the soul of America, as it has been idealized since the 1900s. It takes time to sort out the good and the bad, and if a person does not have questions and qualms about such a change in lifestyle, then perhaps they aren't fully appreciating the differences of it to the dog-eat-dog world of modern megalopolis living.

As was pointed out earlier, some people just aren't suited for different areas. Others, who may be more flexible or have more compatible feelings, can fit right in. Then there are the third type, the people who make a conscious decision to make a change, knowing full well what it involves. I think that those of us who make that deliberate move have the potential for the most enjoyment in the chaos of change.

Living among plain talking and polite people who might not have read the latest on Hollywood or be up to speed on the latest cosmology or eco-fad is still a far superior life than living among people whose morals go no further than their bank account. No matter how exclusive the gated community, nor restrictive the homeowner association, you'll never find any that gives more of the core of a solid life than those which can be found in some of the areas of Alabama.