[33458]

Ok, I'll jump in because I am also having a bit of trouble absorbing the completely negative tone O.P. is expressing. Not to discount the experience, but it leaves me wondering...

Also, want to comment on the post from the woman in B'ham. I'll combine because I'm sick and my mind is muddled.

Gay bashing, that would be too much for me as well. I hear that. And an act of affection is hardly a justifiable trigger.

Flip side - this is the south and I don't lay it on my partner in public - and we're straight.

I don't know Birmingham...I do know I need to check myself in the smaller towns outside where I'm living (Huntsville)...just know the rules and stay under the radar.

I was born in the North...I know cold in more ways than one. Now, as a kid, I didn't realize it as I knew nothing else. After moving south of Mason-Dixon, I went back to visit, full of nostalgia. N.Y. state as a whole shocked my gentrified, adult self...couldn't say "Hello" to a stranger or smile...that was just not the way to behave. Whatta ya sellin!? My 'home' was no longer part of who I was.

So as I travel from state to state on holiday, I have found some to be more welcoming than others. Georgia DOES feel like home. Even with tattoos and piercings visable, the folks embrace me. Not split by race or creed. I can only say that I shine a kindness, rather than stomping in to town with an attitude.

South Carolina, North Carolina...not so much. I wasn't much cared for around there...with or without my weirdness showing, my husband said he thought they could just "tell".
Oh well.

In Florida where we lived and in the Carolinas where I have family, we were routinely, rudely stared at (even when I looked 'normal'; covered, no freakiness) and a topic for discussion. Snicker and hiss. Asheville is the ONLY place I can relax, and I'm not even a neo-hippie.


So, Alabama...fully expecting a kick to the curb the first time I visited, my husband and I traveled about with our young daughter...we are a blended family. Both he and I, when exposed, have very colorful skin and holes we weren't born with.
Not a single incident. No even one slight. I smile. They smile. No stares. No gossip. Just niceness.

We came back again months later. Still good. Not a fluke.

We moved here. Boy howdy. I'm liking it.

I forgot (because I'm so used to it) that I still had my LARGE septum ring in after a quick trip to Atlanta (where that sort of thing doesn't usually raise an eyebrow). Just a few weeks ago. I more often than not keep that one retained, not visable. But...this time...went to a few mainstream Huntsville stores...still, no look of horror, no uncomfortable exchanges...I was treated as well as if I looked like a prim Sandra Dee.

Now, what someone might be thinking...sure, no doubt I am stirring a few thoughts one way or another, but nobody, to date, has acted in any way that would cause me such regret.

And the status/race/age thing...I haven't been here that long, but so far I have had equally positive experiences, conversations with everyone I meet...no ick factor, no attitudes, no pre-conceptions. Black, white, purple. Older, younger. Everybody.
I didn't bring the New York in-your-face or Florida hostility with me and so far I haven't been called a Yankee or a demon. Perhaps my lack of stereotype has given me a pass.

I really think this is a place where the community will, for the most part, treat you the way you treat them. I may be proven wrong and I'll let you know if and when.

[cat09lives]

I went to the Civic Center in Huntsville last night. I am not from Madison County, and because of the discussions on this board I was paying a lot of attention to the people around me. I saw no one staring or shaking their heads at the numerous interracial and gay couples attending. And I saw no one who wasn't friendly and polite.

[southernerd]

Originally Posted by heathanoah

Just to let you guys know, I live in Southside, one block from Highland park, but nobody welcomed me to the neighborhood. I was attacked by my neighbor who wanted drug money I assume, and my girlfriend was beaten on the front porch of our home, so it's not like we were slobbering on each other at the Galleria. I love the assumptions everyone has made about me, just because I am a strong, gay, liberal woman. I MUST be a negative, horrible person. My only crime is being true to myself and trying too hard to make friends. Shame on you guys for getting SO riled up over my personal opinions and my attempts to help others who are going through what I am. This is a place for us to share and learn, not to be rude to each other. If I want to vent along with others who hate Alabama, let us be! Get on a thread about how freakin' great it is here and leave those who are having a harder time alone! By the way I'll make sure to "get a room" the next time I want to kiss the person I love goodbye.

I was born and raised Alabamian, and being both liberal and nonreligious and consigned to the suburbs, I can understand being less than content with the mindset.

However, I have to say that being physically attacked for kissing your same-sex partner is not the way Alabama usually works, especially in Southside. I lived off of Highland for several years, and everyone seemed to accept that it was a gayish community. I'm not surprised your neighbors didn't drop by to bring you cookies, but I found it to be an extremely tolerant community - more friendly, in fact, than the suburb I live in now.

Heathanoah, I think you've just been very unlucky. Alabama isn't exactly crusading for LGBT issues, but what happened to your partner seems quite unusual to me.

As far as the drug money guy, well, Southside is tolerant, but not especially safe.

[rockbeck]

Wow! After reading all these comments on the rude people in AL. and how noone seems to have made "true friends". I can see now what my daughter is talking about. She goes to the University in Tuscaloosa and says she has never encountered "these type of people before..."
She has made two friends and quite a few guy friends. But she says the girls aren't southern belles they're southern bitches.
She is finishing out the school year and moving back to Cali.
She is miserable. Its taking all she has to stay until May.

[VMH2507]

Originally Posted by rockbeck

Wow! After reading all these comments on the rude people in AL. and how noone seems to have made "true friends".

You obviously did not read all the posts because quite a few people commented on how friendly the people in AL are, and I for one have made many "true friends" since moving to AL. This is as opposed to the 30 years I lived in TX where I left without a single "true friend". I am sorry that your daughter has not been happy in Tuscaloosa, but please don't brand all the residents of this wonderful state as rude because of her unfortunate experience.

[rnc76]

I have heard from a couple Alabama alumni (both female) that the sorority scene is pretty intense. The girls can be viscous to each other. Neither one were interested in that crowd and had a hard time their first year making friends but did have a good college experience after finding a non-Greek crowd to hang out with.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by rockbeck

Wow! After reading all these comments on the rude people in AL. and how noone seems to have made "true friends". I can see now what my daughter is talking about. She goes to the University in Tuscaloosa and says she has never encountered "these type of people before..."
She has made two friends and quite a few guy friends. But she says the girls aren't southern belles they're southern bitches.
She is finishing out the school year and moving back to Cali.
She is miserable. Its taking all she has to stay until May.

Well, sorry about her experience. But we should have waved you off from the University of Alabama. It is a very stratified place, very clubby, and not particularly welcoming if your parents didn't attend. Auburn is a much better university and much more embracing.

[Mmm231]

Ok folks....wherever you live, you have to get out, volunteer at the hospital or library, go to church, speak to your neighbors, and SMILE. I know I sound like "Polyanna", but it's true. All too often, YOU'VE got to be the one to make the effort! Why do you have to be the one? Because everyone else is sitting around complaining about how unfriendly people are. I've lived all over Alabama and have had pretty good experiences - the last 27 years in Auburn. Auburn is different from anywhere else in the state. It's a great place to live - small town atmosphere, very diverse, and well educated.

[acrossthepond]

It totally amazes me the responses of people. I am not a native Alabamian coming here via Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, Georgia, and Germany. I have never found people who were not friendly in any of these places. Yes some of the customs are unique. I bought some trees from a farmer in France once. He wouldn't do business with me until I came to his home and had coffee and cake. I even had to see the wild hog he was raising before I could talk business. I use to do business with a farmer 200 miles away in Germany and he stayed on me until I came and visited him at a fest in his hometown. And he did not speak a word of English. He wanted to offer friendship.

Folks if you are set in your ways and not flexible about learning new customs in a new location, you probably will be unhappy. The most fun about living and traveling in Europe is to get off the beaten path and meet people. Politics are different everywhere but if you are set in your ways and not adaptable, then your new house will never be your new home.

By the way, I live in Madison, I have very friendly neighbors to include a bi-racial couple next door. We are comfortable in our surroundings and find making friends are no problem. I find nothing not to like. Everyone does not have to be your friend to have a fullfilling life. Need a friend go to a church. We have one on every corner in Madison. If you are young and seaching for a nightlife, it may take a little adjustment, but things are getting better in North Alabama for that. Find somewhere to volunteer. It is amazing the people you meet doing that. Extend a hand and make a friend.

[Guntersville Boomer]

My husband and I bought our retirement home in Guntersville almost 2 years ago, still live in Fl. and going back and forth for next 21 months until we can move full time. Doing lots of work on the house, when my husband has been at Lowes and was unloading wood, folks just came up to help, we have never had that happen in Florida. When we go to the grocery store, folks just seem friendly, asked my husband if he was a senior, age 60 (he was 59 at the time) so he could get discount at grocery on a Wednesday. In Florida, no one cares, wouldn't bother asking, everyone is in too big a hurry. I guess how we see it has a lot to do with where we are coming from but for us, so far, folks have been very kind.