[Guntersville Boomer]

Forgot to mention my daughter has been at Birmingham Southern College for four years, graduates in May (TTL) and she went there right out of high school from Florida, didn't know a soul. Never had any problem making friends, has lots of guy and girl friends, they even have gone out to eat with me when I was visiting so I am so surprised at the experience of the young lady going to U of A, maybe because Birmingham Southern is smaller that made a difference, I don't know.

[Huntsville_secede]

Originally Posted by Guntersville Boomer

Forgot to mention my daughter has been at Birmingham Southern College for four years, graduates in May (TTL) and she went there right out of high school from Florida, didn't know a soul. Never had any problem making friends, has lots of guy and girl friends, they even have gone out to eat with me when I was visiting so I am so surprised at the experience of the young lady going to U of A, maybe because Birmingham Southern is smaller that made a difference, I don't know.

This whole discussion is dumb. Everybody's just giving their one example of how they've had an easy time meeting people or from their experiences people were nice to them therefore everybody in Alabama is nice, conclusion. Or somebody with bad experiences meeting people, conclusion everybody in Alabama is horrible. Regardless of where you are you meet friendly and not so friendly people, there are a lot of factors involved, people are biased, they tend to be nicer to certain kind of people, its where you meet people, when, how, there are an unlimited number of factors that determine what kind of experiences you have when interacting with other people. There are nice and not so nice people in every place. This whole media bias that all people in a certain place are nice and all people in certain places aren't is just totally dumb and not true especially among younger adults. I've met some of the nicest people in my life in Alabama, and some of the meanest people in my life in Alabama. And In college you have to find your right kind of people to be around, and I hear all the time college girls having a problem keeping girl friends because of jealousy and other petty reasons. You shouldn't discount a bad experience someone had... just because you've had good experiences doesn't mean everyone else has and it might not necessarily be that person's fault either. You can't judge something unless you know every single possible detail and your own personal experience has nothing to do with someone else's.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by Huntsville_secede

This whole discussion is dumb. Everybody's just giving their one example of how they've had an easy time meeting people or from their experiences people were nice to them therefore everybody in Alabama is nice, conclusion. Or somebody with bad experiences meeting people, conclusion everybody in Alabama is horrible. Regardless of where you are you meet friendly and not so friendly people, there are a lot of factors involved, people are biased, they tend to be nicer to certain kind of people, its where you meet people, when, how, there are an unlimited number of factors that determine what kind of experiences you have when interacting with other people. There are nice and not so nice people in every place. This whole media bias about people in certain places are nice and people in certain places aren't is just totally dumb especially among younger adults. I've met some of the nicest people in my life in Alabama, and some of the meanest people in my life in Alabama. And In college you have to find your right kind of people to be around, and I hear all the time college girls having a problem keeping girl friends because of jealousy and other petty reasons. You shouldn't discount a bad experience someone had... just because you've had good experiences doesn't mean everyone else has and it might not necessarily be that person's fault either. You can't judge something unless you know every single possible detail and your own personal experience has nothing to do with someone else's.

Well, duh.

I think the thing that threw this board into a tizzy was that the OP made the mistake of going from the particular to the general, essentially condemning an entire state for her inability to make friends.

[Huntsville_secede]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Well, duh.

I think the thing that threw this board into a tizzy was that the OP made the mistake of going from the particular to the general, essentially condemning an entire state for her inability to make friends.

Well you can't expect everyone to like Alabama, there are plenty of people who like it here but a lot of people that don't like it here either and end up leaving and moving to other places. All the people who live here and like it seem to get overly offended when someone expresses their dislike for Alabama as if it is this perfect place above all other places and they can't possibly fathom how someone couldn't like it here or not have been welcomed with open arms. Its just not for everyone, especially if you like larger cities, more diverse or progressive places. Most people in Alabama hate the way of life of Atlanta but believe it or not many people like that lifestyle otherwise so many wouldn't be moving there. Posting about hating Alabama on an Alabama forum may not be the best place to do it but why are people so offended and surprised that there are people that don't like it here? I think the original poster was just trying to vent to people with similar experiences but again this may not be the best place to do it. Are there not any restrictions on this forum for divisive topics? Other forums have this kind of restriction this whole discussion seems pointless now, the original poster probably stopped responded months ago.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by Huntsville_secede

Well you can't expect everyone to like Alabama, there are plenty of people who like it here but a lot of people that don't like it here either and end up leaving and moving to other places. All the people who live here and like it seem to get overly offended when someone expresses their dislike for Alabama as if it is this perfect place above all other places and they can't possibly fathom how someone couldn't like it here or not have been welcomed with open arms. Its just not for everyone, especially if you like larger cities, more diverse or progressive places. Most people in Alabama hate the way of life of Atlanta but believe it or not many people like that lifestyle otherwise so many wouldn't be moving there. Posting about hating Alabama on an Alabama forum may not be the best place to do it but why are people so offended and surprised that there are people that don't like it here? I think the original poster was just trying to vent to people with similar experiences but again this may not be the best place to do it. Are there not any restrictions on this forum for divisive topics? Other forums have this kind of restriction this whole discussion seems pointless now, the original poster probably stopped responded months ago.

I think you're arguing with yourself.

It's really simple.

If you move to a place, and you don't make friends, it's not the place's fault.

That would be akin to having a blind date at a nice restaurant, and blaming the restaurant for the date not working out.

So, yeah, I get annoyed at posts like that.

[Huntsville_secede]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

I think you're arguing with yourself.

It's really simple.

If you move to a place, and you don't make friends, it's not the place's fault.

That would be akin to having a blind date at a nice restaurant, and blaming the restaurant for the date not working out.

So, yeah, I get annoyed at posts like that.

I'm not talking about not making friends I'm talking about the whole attitude about people in Alabama not understanding how anybody could not like it here in general. I don't think that person's complaints were just about not making friends, and I'm talking about people's lack and refusal of seeing or hearing other people's perspectives here, you don't have to agree. I bet you someone from a big city could understand why someone from a smaller city doesn't like living in the city regardless of they agree with their reasons or not. But I see what you are saying about responsibility falling on that person to go out and make an effort to make friends, but maybe if they are in a small enough place that lacks diversity they never found friends they clicked with its possible.

[jsherman9901]

Originally Posted by Huntsville_secede

This whole discussion is dumb. Everybody's just giving their one example of how they've had an easy time meeting people or from their experiences people were nice to them therefore everybody in Alabama is nice, conclusion. Or somebody with bad experiences meeting people, conclusion everybody in Alabama is horrible. Regardless of where you are you meet friendly and not so friendly people, there are a lot of factors involved, people are biased, they tend to be nicer to certain kind of people, its where you meet people, when, how, there are an unlimited number of factors that determine what kind of experiences you have when interacting with other people. There are nice and not so nice people in every place.

This happens on virtually every state's forum. I get tickled reading posts where someone can't make friends in a certain town, so they write a sweeping generalization condemning the entire STATE and warning readers not to move there under any circumstance! It's funny, because it is obvious to me that, in almost every case, the poster has done little or nothing to reach out and make friends; they seem to want other people to make the first move. It just doesn't happen that way!

[Keeper]

There are a lot of opportunities to volunteer in N. AL. This is a great way to meet ppl.

I have to agree, it is up to you to find your own happiness. Although I am really disappointed that I can't blame the restaurant for my last blind date.

[southernerd]

Originally Posted by Huntsville_secede

but maybe if they are in a small enough place that lacks diversity they never found friends they clicked with its possible.

I think the atmosphere of a place makes a genuine difference. When you know the majority of a population has a worldview radically different from yours, it has a chilling effect on your ability to communicate. If you're comfortable talking politics and religion in Alabama, you probably won't be comfortable talking about them in New York - and vice versa.

If you talk about religion and politics with no assumptions about tradition or dogma, you'll probably offend someone in a state that is majority evangelical - thus, you won't start the conversation in the first place. While evangelicals are speaking freely and forming social connections, people of other worldviews form connections much more slowly and tentatively, if at all.

Take 100 people, 50 of them Jewish, and 50 of them Nazis. If you move that whole population to Nazi Germany, they will appear to be 100% Nazi, but with half of them very quiet and reserved. Move them to Israel, and they'll appear to be 100% Jews, half of whom are constantly angry.

Sorry for invoking Godwin's Law of Nazi Analogies, but I thought it made the point colorfully. Place does matter. Like minds may be here, but if you ain't meeting 'em, they might as well not be.

[jpicard]

Originally Posted by southernerd

I think the atmosphere of a place makes a genuine difference. When you know the majority of a population has a worldview radically different from yours, it has a chilling effect on your ability to communicate. If you're comfortable talking politics and religion in Alabama, you probably won't be comfortable talking about them in New York - and vice versa.

Here in NY I have met many liberals with a very closed minded world view compared to social conservatives who are more open to debating different view points. Liberals can be just as unaccepting of people of different backgrounds. The point is it really depends on the person rather than these sweeping generalizations about people in each region.