Unhappy living in N. Alabama (Birmingham, Huntsville: relocation, gated, vacation)

[dentaigirl10]

Originally Posted by Snapp2it

I know this discussion is kind of old but I just have to say something.... I moved to Arab 2 years ago. I am white and I still have not been excepted because I am not "from here". I am ready to move! It's a real rarity to actually see an African American in this town. My son came home one day after school and asked me why there aren't any black kids at school and he was 8 years old and could tell. I am a very sociable person. When we lived in south Alabama my husband would send me to the store 10 minutes away and I would be gone for at least an hour because I would always run into people and have to stop and chat with them but that hasn't happened here in the whole 2 years we have been here. Now I am not going to say I haven't met any nice people because there are some but I seem to have met many more that just aren't. I have another relative that has moved here too and she has never felt comfortable here or excepted either. Now on the nicer side.... Arab is a nice clean town with good schools. They do have a beautiful Christmas display of lights at the park every year that I will miss.
Oh, and they a lot of really bad drivers here too.

I dont live in arab I live in madison but I couldnt agree with you more. We are moving . I moved here from Michigan and I have never meet such rude,unsocialble people in my life I hate it here we are move back up north were the people are friendly and social. Oh and your right no one can drive here.

[Snapp2it]

Originally Posted by dentaigirl10

I dont live in arab I live in madison but I couldnt agree with you more. We are moving . I moved here from Michigan and I have never meet such rude,unsocialble people in my life I hate it here we are move back up north were the people are friendly and social. Oh and your right no one can drive here.

Thanks dentaigirl10! I was wondering if maybe I didn't live in the same place as these other people. Maybe it's just because we are from the north? I have lived in South Alabama for 15 years and loved it! People were so friendly and nice and then I moved here. I grew up in Michigan though. Where are you from in MI? Anyway, I wanted to comment once more about my living here for the past two years. I am out and about alot around here and I never see an African American. I asked someone trustworthy one day how come there isn't any black people in this town and she said "well, they come but realize they are not welcome and move away". I think that is just awful! I don't want to raise my kids here!!!! I think a little diversity is good for everyone. And I am not saying I have not met ANY nice people because I have but in two years I have met many more that are not nice. And I refuse to wait 40 years to be accepted because by then I will be dead and not care anyway. We are moving out of here and I can't hardly stand waiting until it finally happens.

[VMH2507]

I must comment to the person who lives in Madison and finds the people unfriendly. I moved to Madison ~9 years ago from Houston where I had lived for ~30 years. When I left Houston I had a few acquaintances but no real friends. Since moving here I have found the people to be very friendly and I have a large circle of friends living in Huntsville and Madison (African American and white) that I socialize with frequently. We go to each other's houses, eat out together, go on day trips, etc. I have been impressed with the friendliness and helpfulness of strangers in stores as well.

[heathanoah]

Originally Posted by dentaigirl10

I dont live in arab I live in madison but I couldnt agree with you more. We are moving . I moved here from Michigan and I have never meet such rude,unsocialble people in my life I hate it here we are move back up north were the people are friendly and social. Oh and your right no one can drive here.

Don't feel bad you guys! I have lived here on and off for about 6 years and I am miserable. I think the problem with us "outsiders" is just that....we come from a different place, different background and different ideas. A lot of people here don't want to accept that because it threatens the way of life down here. I have lived in Kentucky, Tennessee, Washington state, Florida and in Italy and Alabama BY FAR is the most racist, segregated, place I have ever lived. I have not made ONE true, honest friend since I have lived here. When I move, there will be not a single person with whom I will continue a relationship. That is not to say I haven't met some seemingly nice people, however, I have never felt accepted or comfortable here. I hope that things will get better for you! I can't imagine raising a child here. Maybe things will get better.....my parents live in Athens and just love it here. They are however, very very active in their church. I think that's really the only way to "fit in" here! Good luck.

[Threestep]

Originally Posted by heathanoah

Don't feel bad you guys! I have lived here on and off for about 6 years and I am miserable. I think the problem with us "outsiders" is just that....we come from a different place, different background and different ideas. A lot of people here don't want to accept that because it threatens the way of life down here. I have lived in Kentucky, Tennessee, Washington state, Florida and in Italy and Alabama BY FAR is the most racist, segregated, place I have ever lived. I have not made ONE true, honest friend since I have lived here. When I move, there will be not a single person with whom I will continue a relationship. That is not to say I haven't met some seemingly nice people, however, I have never felt accepted or comfortable here. I hope that things will get better for you! I can't imagine raising a child here. Maybe things will get better.....my parents live in Athens and just love it here. They are however, very very active in their church. I think that's really the only way to "fit in" here! Good luck.

Reading your other posts - you may be happier somewhere else. A medical secretary of five years unable to find a good job in BHam - something does not ring right. I offered to help. It is so much easier to complain! Friends have nothing to do with geographic boundaries - maybe it is your negative attitude which keeps people away from you.

[VMH2507]

Originally Posted by Threestep

Reading your other posts - you may be happier somewhere else. A medical secretary of five years unable to find a good job in BHam - something does not ring right. I offered to help. It is so much easier to complain! Friends have nothing to do with geographic boundaries - maybe it is your negative attitude which keeps people away from you.

I agree with you totally about the negativity. I have walked with a neighbor every day for the last 1+ years. However, I am just about at the end of my rope with her negativity. All she talks about is how much she hates Madison, hates her house, hates the other neighbors, etc. And then she says "Nobody is friendly!" Well duh! She is from Tennessee but talks continually about how much better she liked it in Indianapolis where she lived before she moved here ~20 years ago. People can take only so much negativity before they pull away.

[heathanoah]

Originally Posted by Threestep

Reading your other posts - you may be happier somewhere else. A medical secretary of five years unable to find a good job in BHam - something does not ring right. I offered to help. It is so much easier to complain! Friends have nothing to do with geographic boundaries - maybe it is your negative attitude which keeps people away from you.

I admit I do have a negative attitude towards Birmingham now. You would too if you had been through what I have here. My girlfriend and I have both been assaulted-me by my drug addicted (and now imprisoned thank god) neighbor, and her by a complete stranger for kissing me in public. We have tried to make friends through work, school and church with not one "true" friend coming out of it. I just think it's funny that I have lived in many other places and find it very easy to get along, so it can't be all me. There is a lot of bad energy in Alabama as far as I am concerned, but that is my opinion. Oh, and I have also been degraded in a published forum by a state elected official, who made fun of my sexual idenity and my race. I know that no place is even close to perfect, but I think people need to know what they are getting into when they move to Alabama-the stereotypes are alive and well and very palpable for people like me.

[Threestep]

Originally Posted by VMH2507

I agree with you totally about the negativity. I have walked with a neighbor every day for the last 1+ years. However, I am just about at the end of my rope with her negativity. All she talks about is how much she hates Madison, hates her house, hates the other neighbors, etc. And then she says "Nobody is friendly!" Well duh! She is from Tennessee but talks continually about how much better she liked it in Indianapolis where she lived before she moved here ~20 years ago. People can take only so much negativity before they pull away.

I feel with you! We had a mixed couple move into the neighborhood. He is from BHam; she is Hungarian, lived a number of years in Canada and came to BHam almost three years ago after meeting him while he was on vacation. A number of neighbors tried to include them in our circles from cooking/eating to going out. She is rather emotional and vocal, not to say loud. I am speculating - her husband gained weight, works long hours, has custody of two small kids on a biweekly basis and she is bored. Every sentence ends with "... in Canada". Everyone has been pulling back.

[Threestep]

Originally Posted by heathanoah

I admit I do have a negative attitude towards Birmingham now. You would too if you had been through what I have here. My girlfriend and I have both been assaulted-me by my drug addicted (and now imprisoned thank god) neighbor, and her by a complete stranger for kissing me in public. We have tried to make friends through work, school and church with not one "true" friend coming out of it. I just think it's funny that I have lived in many other places and find it very easy to get along, so it can't be all me. There is a lot of bad energy in Alabama as far as I am concerned, but that is my opinion. Oh, and I have also been degraded in a published forum by a state elected official, who made fun of my sexual idenity and my race. I know that no place is even close to perfect, but I think people need to know what they are getting into when they move to Alabama-the stereotypes are alive and well and very palpable for people like me.

Ok, you moved into a soso neighborhood. Personally - I keep displays of affections from public view.
This is another one of your pitty party hangers - you have been degraded..... Not everyone may be interested in your sexual preferences. Your race is of no interest as far as I am concerned.
If it is so bad - relocation may be an option before it gets worse.
We moved a lot. I always considered myself the one coming to a new community. They did not ask me to come. I came. So I did my best to respect their way of doing things without loosing mine in the process.

[Keeper]

I made this a new thread as the discussion is no longer about Arab, but N. AL in general.

Please continue