[delicacy]

My heart goes out to you on your loss. I have found this a particularly sad year, I guess because I am so alone in this world. I have been searching for inner peace for 7 years and don't know if there is an answer anymore. As much as I wish I could make a change, I most likely won't. It's so much easier when you have a spouse, my late husband and I tried living in different parts of the country (Las Vegas, Kingman AZ) and we were younger too. I appreciate your info regarding the mold, seasons and health care. I have found I can't assimilate in Maine, tried going to a Senior luncheon yesterday and was sad to see so much cattiness amongst older adults. I can only pray God will show me some direction that will work for me.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by delicacy

I would like to start a new life.
I am on SS disability,
I live a pretty unexcited life.

I like to watch tv

Originally Posted by delicacy

I follow the stock market and one of the companies is located in Oneonta. I called the CEO and reached his voice mail and never expected anyone to call me back, but to my amazement 'he' did call back. I thought, 'Wow this is incredible, that there are some responsible people with big titles who care about everyone,'



That is what made me consider looking into Oneonta.

Originally Posted by delicacy

I received little morale support here in Maine.

As for churches, I wouldn't mind joining one if I could find the right one....have had little success here in Maine

Originally Posted by delicacy

I have been searching for inner peace for 7 years and don't know if there is an answer anymore.

As much as I wish I could make a change, I most likely won't.


I can only pray God will show me some direction that will work for me.

From reading this, I wonder if relocating is the solution to these problems. That is, I don't see a reason any of these problems, no friends, lack of "inner peace", lack of direction for seven years, lack of moral support, etc. would go away on relocation.

I also would wonder about relocating to a place based on a random phone call to a businessman who works there.

[delicacy]

Thank you for your insight, Charles. You most likely are correct on all accounts, thus my lack of actually following through from ever moving out of Maine; I have considered other areas of the country to relocate to in the past but never followed through. Counseling has helped in some areas, but even in counseling, a stranger cannot relate to everything a person feels or experiences in life. I have decided to stay put and just let time take its course. Thanks to everyone for your advice, I really appreciated it!

[Guntersville Boomer]

Delicacy-- I send you loving thoughts right now, I am sure this is a hard month for you. I have to tell you my husband is 12 years older than I am and from the day we met I worried about being left alone if he passes away before me which is highly likely, I wouldn't marry him for 3 years because of this fear, went to counseling and finally realized I rather experience this love than not for however long I can. I have found so much strength from the wonderful people here on City Data, you are doing great just getting on here and talking about things, give yourself credit for that. If you haven't gone to the Retirement topic that is down below all the states you need to go there. Under that topic is a thread titled Single women retiring to a new city/state. It is really inspiring to read through it and see all of these women talking about their plan, how empowering it is to see what some of them are doing and planning to do. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keeper is a great friend to have and you two seem to have a lot in common, let us help you in any way we can to get more comfortable with making the changes you seem to want to make in your life.

[Keeper]

Boomer.. great suggestion.. There are some amazing woman on that thread, much braver than me. LOL
http://www.city-data.com/forum/retir...ity-state.html

We also have a Grief social group..

My husband was 6 years younger than me and was only 52 when he passed away unexpectedly due health problems. So you just never know..

I met a lady here in Arab in her 70s, she had just moved here not knowing anyone. I don't recall now how she chose Arab, but she was from the NE and wanted to live in a small, safe town and chose Arab.

We need to have a get together of the folks from CD who moved to Arab, Guntersville and surrounding area.

[Guntersville Boomer]

Thanks for sharing that Keeper, you are right, I guess age isn't an absolute predictor of life expectancy, that had to be an awful thing to go through, 52 is just too young, I am just so inspired when I see you can live through the loss of your lifemate, one of the worst life experiences we will ever have. I am looking so forward to living in Guntersville full-time so we can get together and bring our other members together too!

[Southlander]

Delicacy,
You have a place on my prayer list! I'm thankful that when my dad died, my mom had me and my brother in town to take her out, to church, to see friends, to shop. We both might very well have moved away from this town.

Let me encourage you to turn off the TV and go out and volunteer. We have a number of agencies in my town who work with the homeless, or the displaced, or schoolchildren, or hospitals, or seniors.

Just getting out and being among people would do you a world of good! And it would help others, too.

It doesn't have to be anything earth-shaking. Reading to kids. Cashiering at a thrift store. Filing in a hospice office. Putting out new stock at a hospital gift shop. Just a couple of hours a week would get you out, and help you feel useful. It helps to get "outside yourself."

We have a Volunteer Center here to match people to jobs...maybe there's something similar there. Or just make some calls to nearby churches, hospitals, schools, shelters etc. and ask. Don't be discouraged if they turn you down at first. Keep asking.

Much good luck to you!

[delicacy]

To Southlander: I am being interviewed tomorrow for a volunteer job at a Daycare Center for Elders tomorrow. I am keeping my fingers crossed that something will mesh. I have not had much success in the past, some places never even got back to me after I expressed an interest in volunteering (nursing homes). Thank you for your prayers, you have mine too! You are a very kind person to have reached out to me.

To Guntersville Boomer, I can understand your fear of marrying someone older, I would have had the same anxiety. My husband was 9 months younger than me, he was only 44 when he was killed. He was a delivery driver for an auto parts store and was broadsided by a fully loaded lumber truck on Feb 13th, the day before the anniversay of when me met, Valentine's Day. He had premonitions, at least that is what I took them as. I was scared that he was a deliivery driver. He had a girlfriend when he was 21 and she was killed in an accident on Christmas Eve. He told me the week before his tragic fate that she had been visiting him in his dreams. He hadn't dreamt of her for a very long time. I was so scared and then it happened, the cops showed up at my door during The Price is Right and I faced the worst day of my life. So age doesn't matter, Guntersville Boomer, it really doesn't. I am now 52 years old, have not dated as times have changed since when I met my husband. The internet dating didn't work for me. I guess I am old fashioned, like to get to know someone first as friends. I hope you enjoy your move to Guntersville. Keeper has been so kind to me, I don't know how you can miss having a friend like her!!!!! You are a very kind person to have reached out to me.

To Keeper: Your pen name definitely suits you! You reach out to others and make them feel welcome, that is so nice of you. I hope your life blossoms like a vibrant garden, it seems like the seeds have been well sowed and it's well on it's way. With the sunshine you spread, I don't know how it can miss!

[Marlow]

I know this is completely off topic, but I'd like to suggest that you volunteer someplace that's more...fun...than a nursing home or senior day care. While you would be performing a valuable service, those places, in general, can be a bit depressing. What about volunteering at a library, or an elementary school, or a literacy program, or an animal shelter? That way you'll be around happy people who are looking forward to things, rather than older people who may be sick or in pain, or sad. Just a suggestion.

[Keeper]

I did volunteer work for Meals on Wheels and a senior service where we went to nursing homes every month for a birthday party for residents when I was in FL. I loved the MoW because you got to know some of the ppl who wanted someone to talk with, others didn't but that was OK. I agree with Marlow though, nursing homes can be upsetting/depressing.

I also volunteered at the animal shelter and ended up with a wonderful dog that was abused, however once they went back to a 'kill' shelter I only help with adoptions now as I couldn't stand the idea of wonderful dogs being PTS because their time was up.

What was the name of your book Delicacy?