So I am a grad student at Auburn as well, however on the other end I also did my undergrad here.... I have left a few times to do the Europe study abroad and I lived in NY awhile... It is definitely not a "life style of the rich and famous" atmosphere BUT I honestly would not have come back if I didn't love it here... I am going to address all that you asked for from the point of view of a female grad student that has been here off and on 4 years....
Living: I did my first year at Auburn Trail ---- Honestly it wasn't that bad; but as a grad student you will HATE it! Most places that have roommates you will hate (such as those that match you with roommates). Most of these places are the party apartments; and I feel you addressed that you aren't into that scene. I would suggest finding a studio/ one bedroom or even subleasing (believe me they are everywhere!) until you can find a roommate to live somewhere else... There are tons of duplexes and that is what I live in... LOVE IT!
Party Scene: SEC is huge in Auburn... Honestly all fall is a huge drunk football game; and its amazing... They do roll toomers corner tree but its a tradition and its definitely not some trashy thing..Most of all the bars are in one area... You have Bodega (the more mellow bar), 1716 (the more fratty bar), Italy (the more metro bar), Bourbon st. (the diverse bar; best to meet all sorts of people), quixotes (the best drink specials on wednesday bar), sky bar( the underage overcrowding, best if you like to smoke bar)... Then you also have a few other bars which are in there on rights places you must visit .. War Eagle Supper Club (its a tradition and the late night hot spot on weekends LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!), Fat Daddy's and the Duck ( I will say definitely not a city girls bar... I will leave it at that!), Bad Habbits, boogies, and pockets (all located around a similar area which are farther from the downtown area (about a mile away which for most people isn't that far but most people frequent the areas around the campus), and then you have the pulse and tavern (which are both owned by the owners of sky bar) .. The tavern features penny beer and dollar pitchers .. I usually start here even though its off the path of downtown but i mean pitcher beer come on??? (I think that was the southern girl coming out of me .. Shhhhh..)
Specials--- checkout
Home | The Corner News and then do nightlife you can find all the specials for drinking and what is going on around town OR add auburn nights on facebook
So one quick thing about living here that I forgot to say earlier 500 will get you living almost anywhere... The cost of living here is extremely less expensive than any other area I have ever lived in..
Places to Eat
Momma Goldberg's Deli (there are 2; however you WANT to go to the one on Magnolia and Donahue)
Niffers (definitely have good specials all week and the best is thursday night burger night.. any burger and fries / side for 4.99; also you HAVE to get a mini fishbowl ! I LOVE MANGO)
Amsterdams and Hamilton's are really great for date nights you have to try them at least once
A few other places you MUST try (side note we have tons of burger, chicken and bbq places

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Zazu
Mikata
Jim Bobs
Mike and Eds BBQ
**** of the Walk
Coffee at Cambridge
Byrons Bar B Q
Countrys BBQ
Buffalo Connection
Mellow Mushroom
Cheeburger Cheeburger
There are tons more; but believe me you will definitely find your way around quickly and learn what you do and don't like... It is a very friendly place and welcoming to everyone... So good luck and I hope this helped
Oh and PS grad students can park on campus closer than undergrad... From experience the Transit system is not so good.. Especially when you need to get there quick