What would you do? Lonely in Delta Junction (rental, homes)

[CLIMATECRAZY]

Ok here is our issue:
We have lived in Alaska for 5 years now... In the last year we have landed the best job we could have and we are very grateful for it... The position is with Boeing and that was our goal. With that being said, we also knew that with a job in this company we can take transfers down to the states where all of our family lives.
Here is the thing, I have had cancer, ITP , Bleeding ulcers that I needed transfusions for.. and I have a really really bad time with SAD. I have learned along with being told that being in Alaska with multiple health issues is not the way to do things.. if you can help it. I would rather be down in Washington or California where I can get the best of health care that way.
The other issue are my kids. I have 5 of them and we homeschool... We don't agree with the way public schools handle things now adays and the schools in our area have other things within them that we don't like either.
Being said, we would like to put them into a private school, but there are none in Delta Junction to go to.
So my kids are like caged animals here at home and have been for the last year that we have been here.
Thing is my husband who I have stayed with for 15 years is a very temperamental person... and though many have said I should leave him, I don't just want to throw away that many years together...
He wont let us go anywhere unless we have to because it might cause wear and tear on the truck to take a 5 minute ride to the store ( the only vehicle we have) and if money is spent it has to be a needed spend or on him... or we all have to listen to it so to speak... The kids cant join anything in town to have something to do and meet other kids, cause if they do they will have no ride and even if they find a ride my husband generally will find a reason that they cant go...
I get in trouble if I buy any type of junk food such as chips or whatnot, because I am over weight and so he tells me that I should shut my fat mouth and stop eating the stuff .. and to get off my fat butt and do something.. the thing is I am not allowed to do anything past my front yard or we all get in trouble.. it isn't a physical thing.. it is a verbal and mental game that he plays.. I guess it could be worse.
I guess my question here is he has the option of taking a transfer to a position in the states with Boeing and is being very obstinate about it I think because he can control us easier here in the middle of no where... or he could take a 7 and 2 shift which would get us away from him and to be honest him away from us as I don't think he wants us around anyway...
He says no to both. He says that the 7 and 2 would be stupid and I am just an uneducated fool because then we would have to pay two rents...
He also says no about the transfer because he likes it here regardless of the kids and I not have a life out side the home.
Yet we will have to leave the rental we are in come Oct. 12th as our lease runs out at that point.
We wont have anywhere to live.
I have said to him in my anger that it will come down to the wire and we will have to do something... we cant just sit here and expect it to be alright...
Apparently I am a stupid idiot who knows nothing in regards to any of that either.
I know that I am doing a lot of venting at this moment... I am sorry for that.. I don't mean to take up a lot of your time in doing so.. I just have no one to talk to or anywhere to get advice about this. I would like to see us get the transfer then we would get better pay and be in an area that would allow the kids to go to private school as well as I would have places I could go and be able to walk to without using his truck... Here I cant do that.
The other thing is I would have good medical care and I need that..
If not the transfer though I would like to be able to do the 7 and 2... but getting him to see it the way that I do is not going to happen.. I was thinking about asking the pastor or someone from church to talk with him.. but he is good at making others see things his way.
I don't know. I just feel so alone in this and I hate watching my kids go through it as well.
Any ideas , advice or prayers would be welcomed.
Please don't email me in the private message... if you are going to respond I would greatly appreciate it through the open sector of this forum.
Thanks again ...
Lonely in Delta Junction Alaska.

[PghREA]

I think you should contact your family in the lower 48 and see if there is a way you and the kids could move back and leave the "jerk" in Delta Junction.

[maggiekate]

hi, I feel your pain. Could you with your pastor talk about how you feel.
I do not think if you and the children are this unhappy it is good.
Could you also contact your family and go there for awhile to sort things out.
Sometimes it is best to leave rather than make you self so ill. However,
under stress it is not good to make any big decisions.

[MinuteMan]

Thank you for posting your message CLIMATE! It takes tremendous courage to reach out for advice and prayer to strangers. Yes, with your current state of health and family relations...its best to relocate and receive to proper health care that you need. I hope that everything works out for you and family, May God bless you!

I did a search on your user name for more information and was surprised at what I've found! Did you know your husband posted twice in the Washington forum on 06-22-07, 8 days ago? He wants to do the best thing for everyone and is seeking for advice to transfer to Washington state. It seems he's aware of your family needs and is trying to make it happen.

Originally Posted by CLIMATECRAZY;

boeing relocation package...I am looking for information on EXPIDITING a transfer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anyone know how to do this through Boeing.
I currently work for Boeing in Alaska and though Alaska is a beautiful place,, it is not any good for my family as they have SAD and it is a severe case.
So if anyone knows how to go about EXPIDITING a transfer through Boeing to get back down to the lower 48's that would be GREAT.
Thank you.

Originally Posted by CLIMATECRAZY;

Ok so here is the next question:
I have been using the Bess job search here at work, but I continue to get responses back such as : This job has been cancelled or the not being considered for this position anymore... I know that I am fit for what I am applying to on the employee system.. so what might I be doing wrong?
I am an Engineer for over 22 years now and have a current clearance etc...
So what could be going wrong that way?
Also how long did you work at the Everett before attempting the transfer/?
I have only worked for Boeing for one year now in Oct of this year. Until then I worked for other DOD companies...
Will this effect my being able to get a transfer?
Do I have to be here for a certain amount of time before they will allow it?
Lots of questions I know. I would appreciate all of the information you could offer though.
Are there key words that i should place on my resume for getting it considered better?
Should I only use the BESS employee job search or should I use both my home external job search as well..? These are two different accounts as I have my employee log in at work and then just the public access one at home.
Thanks again to anyone that can help.

[Out of Alaska]

You and your kids need help. Please please please reach out to someone. I am unsure if things will change for you with a move - if he is THIS controlling in Delta Junct., do you really honestly think he will let your kids and you start having a life elsewhere? How long before your kids revolt (you don't say how old they are)?
I feel that you're in pain but think of what your are putting your kids through!
Please talk to your pastor or your family or someone.
You need help.
Your kids need you to help them.

[jehnifer]

ClimateCrazy-

If its bad enough you will do something to improve the situation for you and your children. If you are Internet savvy then you can also do the research to find resources to help you make that change. No one ever HAS to stay in an unhealthy environment. It is a choice you make for yourself and your children.

[Kingsnkali]

It might be different if your husband took a strong interest in family fun activities like fishing, music, camping, road trips across Alaska etc. A sense of wonder and adventure. It doesn't sound that way. He sounds equally miserable.

What a waste for you and your kids. Sounds like you guys have locked your world into a small box. The home schooling thing doesn't help either. A lot of kids end up bored out of their minds and eventually either rebel or become dependent in age as they haven't developed their wings.

It won't change in the lower 48 unless he changes.

[cblackwell]

Regardless of everything else, you need to be where you can get the medical care that you need. Even if you were living "the perfect life" and everyone was happy, you'd still not be taking care of yourself as you should be because you're not getting good care. You don't say how old your kids are, but no matter how old they get, they will need you. It's your responsibility as a mother to take care of yourself so that you can be there for them when they need you. You need to be where you can get the care you need...period. If you don't, how long will it be before your kids don't have you?

[Rance]

It will be PDF time soon. Buy yourself a vehicle with your dividend. Then you won't be subject to isolation as you are now. It's so sad that people are like you describe your husband. What form of satisfaction do these people get from control others? It's beyond my comprehension.

[mal_flisk]

My advice would be to get out. Don't pass GO, just leave. Your kids deserve more than he's willing to give, and the guy sound like a lone-wolf sociopath.

Just my opinion.