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Old 12-02-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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The military like the slope is also the problem not nessicarily the relationship. The whole idea of a RELATIONSHIP is being together, when you are gone half the month or deployed for 14 months or what ever obscene time it is then the relationship is going to suffer.

I feel thoes types of jobs are socially unacceptable jobs, no where else in the world (other than maybe russia) has deployments like the USA does (long duration and back to back deployments). Our US military basicly asks the question do you want to "defend" the nation or uphold the social fabric of our nation, it should not be an either, or type of situation.

Slope jobs are the same deal, why cant your spouse come on your rotation with you or some other such arrangement, I guess if they can get the people to take the jobs then why bother but it errodes the social fabric of our nation.
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Old 12-02-2011, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Interior alaska
6,381 posts, read 14,486,023 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowFlower View Post
Um ...yeah .....but even still things happen at work and regardless of it being the slope area or not ....it is harder for those of us left at home however when it is the slope as it isn't something we feel we can prove ....

Um, so let's say you believe your husband is cheating on you... What proof do you have?

Does he lay awake at night thinking you are cheating on him while he is hard at work supporting you?

I by far hear of more stories of infidelity of the spouse at home with the bank account going astray than the one in a confined work enviroment with little to no options.

I sure hope your worry is justified because you may being doing your Husband a service by driving him off. You clearly have no faith in him and that is as good of a way to be single as I know of!

If you tell a person they are worthless all the time, that is what they become. Same as blaming a spouse is cheating that isn't, after a point they may, if they are being blamed for it already, where's the loss.

Oh, and if he is cheating on you and you know it as a fact, you need to dump him, he has no respect for you.
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Bliss Township, Michigan
6,424 posts, read 13,172,003 times
Reputation: 6902
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
The military like the slope is also the problem not nessicarily the relationship. The whole idea of a RELATIONSHIP is being together, when you are gone half the month or deployed for 14 months or what ever obscene time it is then the relationship is going to suffer.

I feel thoes types of jobs are socially unacceptable jobs, no where else in the world (other than maybe russia) has deployments like the USA does (long duration and back to back deployments). Our US military basicly asks the question do you want to "defend" the nation or uphold the social fabric of our nation, it should not be an either, or type of situation.

Slope jobs are the same deal, why cant your spouse come on your rotation with you or some other such arrangement, I guess if they can get the people to take the jobs then why bother but it errodes the social fabric of our nation.

So you are saying that Slope, and similar, jobs are eroding the social fabric of our nation. Hmm.
This type of job, where one of the household goes off for days or weeks at a time has been going on for hundreds of years, since the dawn of Man. There has always been hunter and gathers that have headed off for very long times. This is how we, humans, live. Always have and most likely, always will.
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Interior alaska
6,381 posts, read 14,486,023 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
The military like the slope is also the problem not nessicarily the relationship. The whole idea of a RELATIONSHIP is being together, when you are gone half the month or deployed for 14 months or what ever obscene time it is then the relationship is going to suffer.

I feel thoes types of jobs are socially unacceptable jobs, no where else in the world (other than maybe russia) has deployments like the USA does (long duration and back to back deployments). Our US military basicly asks the question do you want to "defend" the nation or uphold the social fabric of our nation, it should not be an either, or type of situation.

Slope jobs are the same deal, why cant your spouse come on your rotation with you or some other such arrangement, I guess if they can get the people to take the jobs then why bother but it errodes the social fabric of our nation.

There are a majority of the people there on the slope that have good healthy
Family lives. It is the very few that don't.
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:19 PM
 
Location: on top of a mountain
6,992 posts, read 12,651,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
T The whole idea of a RELATIONSHIP is being together,
the whole idea of a RELATIONSHIP is to be best of friends, respect for one another, open honest expectation discussions, trust each other thru together times an away times...never do anything you do not want your partner to do to you, that includes words, you support, honor, and love each other, agree to disagree and let things go when it's over, accept there are times you will not "like" each other but you still "love" each other.....without that you will not have a marriage that lasts....many many couple for eons have had long distance separations due to work an such and had successful long term marriages....think I know something about it as it is will be 36 yrs for husband and I together this coming year!
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:21 PM
 
370 posts, read 878,359 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowFlower View Post
. be brutally honest no matter if it is a cheating spouse on the slope or if it is stating how difficult it would actually be to do so up there...

We need it .... There are a lot of us back here searching for anything that can tell us something about what goes on that way up there and if all we find is the [domain blocked due to spam] info .... then it can be damaging... I hope that others find this link when googleing for info on this ....

Thank you
FWIW,

When my insanely and unjustly jealous ex husband used to get all crazy thinking I was cheating on him...for no reason...I began to think the only reason he could possibly even have THAT as an insecurity or suspicion was because he must be projecting what he was really doing or wanted to do, onto me.

I could not satisfy his own devilish suspicions...they are insane. If you feel in your gut that someone is cheating on you then you really don't have to even justify why you are breaking up with them, do you? If you want to break up with your spouse, you do not have to get all insane and blame or accuse them of cheating...you can just have a talk with him and tell him that you are having issues...why drag him down for your own fears based on your own insecurity? Make sense?

Perhaps a conversation with a professional counselor can help you deal with your unfounded, or perhaps even founded, fears.

With my ex I told him before we got married that if he felt that he absolutely needed to get to know another woman physically that I only ask that he not compromise my health and also assured him that it was not something I was even ever going to consider in return. Extra-marrital affiars are not necessarily a marriage ender...yet, in the American culture sometimes it is easier to cheat to end the marriage than to say you want a divorce. I read that in a sociological book one time. It was also a book of much conversation with my ex before we got married, also why I told him that I didnt' think that an affiar would be a marriage ender and that honest conversation was important.

BTW, I no longer feel that I ever want to tell any potential new partner or husband that he has a carte blanche to be with another woman if he feels he absolutely must, that was just in that situation. I no longer want to be with a man with a roving eye.

Jen-and it wasn't his tee pee creeping that ended it, it was his jealousy
p.p.s. there was no creeping on me end or any desire too
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Old 12-02-2011, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
1,786 posts, read 2,857,782 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gennaver View Post
FWIW,

When my insanely and unjustly jealous ex husband used to get all crazy thinking I was cheating on him...for no reason...I began to think the only reason he could possibly even have THAT as an insecurity or suspicion was because he must be projecting what he was really doing or wanted to do, onto me.

I could not satisfy his own devilish suspicions...they are insane. If you feel in your gut that someone is cheating on you then you really don't have to even justify why you are breaking up with them, do you? If you want to break up with your spouse, you do not have to get all insane and blame or accuse them of cheating...you can just have a talk with him and tell him that you are having issues...why drag him down for your own fears based on your own insecurity? Make sense?

Perhaps a conversation with a professional counselor can help you deal with your unfounded, or perhaps even founded, fears.

With my ex I told him before we got married that if he felt that he absolutely needed to get to know another woman physically that I only ask that he not compromise my health and also assured him that it was not something I was even ever going to consider in return. Extra-marrital affiars are not necessarily a marriage ender...yet, in the American culture sometimes it is easier to cheat to end the marriage than to say you want a divorce. I read that in a sociological book one time. It was also a book of much conversation with my ex before we got married, also why I told him that I didnt' think that an affiar would be a marriage ender and that honest conversation was important.

BTW, I no longer feel that I ever want to tell any potential new partner or husband that he has a carte blanche to be with another woman if he feels he absolutely must, that was just in that situation. I no longer want to be with a man with a roving eye.

Jen-and it wasn't his tee pee creeping that ended it, it was his jealousy
p.p.s. there was no creeping on me end or any desire too
Very well said... I'm with you... if a man wants variety I say move on and stay away from me...LOL...
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Old 12-02-2011, 03:37 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,206,637 times
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Originally Posted by Nephler View Post
So you are saying that Slope, and similar, jobs are eroding the social fabric of our nation. Hmm.
This type of job, where one of the household goes off for days or weeks at a time has been going on for hundreds of years, since the dawn of Man. There has always been hunter and gathers that have headed off for very long times. This is how we, humans, live. Always have and most likely, always will.
Typically the wife or mate will follow though, there may be brief periods where they are separated for the day but not like it is with the military or rotational jobs. Sure there are extenuating circumstances like a major actual war not a political war etc but things like iraq and slope jobs serve no other purpose than to errode the social fabric of our nation.

People know the difference between lagit sacrafice and bogus time wasting.
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Old 12-02-2011, 03:46 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,206,637 times
Reputation: 2046
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Originally Posted by naturesdreams View Post
Very well said... I'm with you... if a man wants variety I say move on and stay away from me...LOL...
I think alot of wives or husbands just want their spouse but the JOB creates an inordante amount of frustration (lonelyness, sexual frustation, etc) and they end up divorced.

I agree there are cases where there would be problems regardless of the job. But I also know that there are just as many if not more cases where the JOB IS THE PROBLEM, the only relational issue there is that the husband (or wife) wont quit that job and take a job in town.

THE JOB can create problems where none may have existed before.
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Old 12-02-2011, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Bliss Township, Michigan
6,424 posts, read 13,172,003 times
Reputation: 6902
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
Typically the wife or mate will follow though, there may be brief periods where they are separated for the day but not like it is with the military or rotational jobs. Sure there are extenuating circumstances like a major actual war not a political war etc but things like iraq and slope jobs serve no other purpose than to errode the social fabric of our nation.

People know the difference between lagit sacrafice and bogus time wasting.
No, hardly never does the partner follow, or come along. Name some jobs that someone is away for a week, or more, and their partner is allowed to go with.

The only thing that erodes "the social fabric of our nation", as you say it, is people like you that want, want, want, I deserve, I deserve, I deserve.

You're just to young to understand what life really is, you'll find out, in time.
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