hunting (house, work, art)

[Rance]

Once we get the ice roads built out of Kuparuk...I let my native buddy use my truck to go to the village of Nuiqsut where he loads up on muktuk to bring back to his village. He always has a nice chunk left over that just won't seem to fit in his cooler. So I get it. I bring it home and share with some of the local indians down my way. My buddy uses it in stir fry. I prefer frozen and very thin sliced. With a good cheap beer of course.

[thepenartist]

Have not tried muktuk, but would try it once, maybe twice if I like it.

[Rance]

It's an aquired taste. Nobody likes it the first 10 times they try it! Thats where the beer comes in handy. Kind of wash it down. I still don't like it after 10 or 12 years of nibbling on it. But I would never make a face and turn it down in front of my good buddy. I do it more out of respect to him and his people. He does not socalize much with "whitey". I feel privledged he even associates with me. It's sort of an honor.

[Rance]

Location: Juneau
Case Number: 07-100457
Type: Bear Mauling
Text: On 11/30/07, Juneau Trooper Dispatch received a request from
TEMSCO Helicopters to rescue a hunter who had been mauled by a
brown/grizzly bear while deer hunting near Buck Island located in
Seymour Canal. Juneau Wildlife Troopers authorized TEMSCO to rescue the
hunter immediately based upon the bear attack. At 0915 hrs, TEMSCO
transported the hunter directly to Bartlett Regional Hospital for
emergency care. Troopers identified the victim as Dr. John F. Raster,
age 44 of Juneau. Investigation revealed that Raster, Gary V. Stears,
Kirt Pettersen and Drake Peterson flew to the island on 11/25/07 for a
week long hunting trip. The hunters heard a bear all week around and
near their cabin popping its teeth and breaking branches but never
actually saw the animal. Early today at approximately 0715 hrs, Raster
decided to go for an early morning walk and take some photographs.
Raster left the cabin with a rifle and was unaccompanied. Raster walked
approximately 250 yards from the cabin and down the beach when a
brown/grizzly bear leaped from the tree line knocking him down. Raster
fired a quick shot, but didn't hit the bear. Raster rolled into the
waterline while the bear continued to attack making several bite marks
on his neck, back and hip. Raster remained on his stomach while the
bear tried rolling him over several times. Raster covered the back of
his head and neck area with his hands. Raster thought he could hear
bones breaking in his hand. The bear then retreated into the tree line
while Raster remained in the water. The hunting party heard the rifle
shot from the cabin and immediately went to Raster's location and gave
immediate medical attention. Raster was able to walk on his own free
will as they returned to the cabin. They immediately called TEMSCO
Helicopters for an emergency rescue.

The overall injuries to Raster were several puncture wounds and
lacerations on the neck, back and hip area. Additionally, Raster has a
fractured left hand which needed surgery. The injuries appear to be
non-life threatening.

[Glitch]

I've only had muktuk a few times, and it was smoked, not frozen. Contrary to what Rance said, I did like it. It has the flavor of oysters and the texture of calamari. It does indeed go well with beer and chips.

I wouldn't want to have to live off it exclusively, any more than I would want to live off of oysters or squid exclusively. With that said, it does make for a nice snack on a Ritz.

[warptman]

1: Hi.
2: Hello.
1: Are you waiting for the bus?
2: Uh, yes I am, actually.
1: Hm.
1: I noticed you're not wearing any GALOSHES.
2: Uh, no I'm not...it's uh...it's sunny out...uh...no need for galoshes.
1: I'M wearing galoshes.
2: Hm.
1: GALOSHES.
2: Uh huh.
1: Did you read the paper today?
2: Uh, no, I haven't had a chance.
1: Did you read the thing about the ESKIMOS?
2: No.
1: Well the article was saying that the Eskimos will eat the FAT from the whale.
2: Oh, yeah.
1: Do you know what that's called?
2: Uh, no, uh, I don't.
1: BLUBBER. [blubber: the fat of sea mammals, especially whales and seals:Walfischspeck]
2: Oh, right.
1: BLUBBER.
2: Yeah, blubber.
1: That's what it's called.
2: Uh huh.
1: BLUBBER.
2: Right.
1: The Eskimos eat the BLUBBER.
2: Uh huh.
1: And the BLUBBER will come from different kinds of whales, you know?
2: Oh, yeah.
1: Sometimes it will come from a BELUGA whale. [beluga: a small white-toothed whale related to the narwhal, also called "white whale"]
2: Uh huh.
1: BELUGA!
2: Right, yeah.
1: Hey, hey. They don't wear galoshes.
2: Who, the whales?
1: NOOOOOOO. The ESKIMOS.
2: Oh no. That's right, they don't.
1: They wear MUKLUKS! [mukluk: a high, soft boot that is worn in the American Arctic and is traditionally made from sealskin]
2: Uh huh.
1: MUKLUKS!
2: That's right; mukluks.
1: MUKLUKS!.
2: Yeah...mukluks.
1: Say it again.
2: Mukluks.
1: Say it LOUDER.
2: MUKLUKS!
1: Um, hmm...good eh?
2: Yeah, it is a good one...I didn't want to say it but uhh....I like it...
1: Say, say, say GALOSHES.
2: Galoshes.
1: Hey, hey...it's good, eh?
2: Yeah, it's good.
1: Galoshes!
2: Galoshes!
1: Beluga!
2: Beluga.
1: Blubber, blubber, blubber, blubber...
2: Blubber MUKLUK!
1: Blubber...BELUGA!
3: Uh, excuse me.
2: Ahem.
3: Sorry, um....I didn't mean to interrupt whatever it was you were doing there...
2: Oh no...it's OK!
3: Uh, ok. I just wanted to know if this is where the bus stops?
2: Uh yeah, ah...it should be here any minute actually.
3: OH, I see. Well, sorry to disturb you.
2: That's ok, we were just....uhhhh.....
{long pause}
1: Sir.
3: Yes?
1: PPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTT!
3: Yeah.
1: Look over there.
3: Across the street?
1: Yeah, yeah yeah.
3: Um-huh.
1: See that LADY?
3: Yes.
1: What kind of a hairstyle does she have?
3: Uh, that looks like a bouffant. [bouffant: (of a person’s hair) styled so as to stand out from the head in a rounded shape: aufgetürmt]
1: YES. A BOUFFANT!
3: Yes, a bouffant.
2: Uh, actually, I...I couldn't help noticing that myself, it's sort of what you might call a, a bulbous bouffant.
3: Yes, a bulbous bouffant. [bulbous: round or bulging: knollig, knollenförmig]
1: BULBOUS BOUFFANT.
3: Bouffant.
1: BLUBBER
2: GALOSHES!!!
1: Hey, hey. Mukluks!
2: Bulbous bouffant.
1: Mukluk, mukluk, hey, hey.
3: MACADAMIA. [macadamia: an Australian rainforest tree with slender, glossy evergreen leaves and globular, edible nuts]
1 & 2: Ooooooohhhhhhhhh. hey, hey.
3: Macadamia.
1: Gazebo! [gazebo: a small building, especially in the garden of a house, that gives a wide view of the surrounding area: Gartenlaube]
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Macadamia.
{At this point, it breaks completely into a song...read it FAST}
1: Gazebo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Macadamia.
1: Gazebo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Macadamia.
1: Gazebo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
1: Blubber.
3: Macadamia.
1: Blubber. Gazebo. Blubber.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Plethora. Macadamia. [plethora: an excess of (something): Fülle, Überfülle]
1: Blubber. Gazebo. Blubber.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Plethora. Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle. [to bamboozle: to cheat, to fool: hereinlegen, (aus)tricksen]
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Plethora. Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Plethora. Macadamia.
1: Beluga.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Ploy. [ploy: a cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one’s own advantage: List, Trick, „Masche"]
1: Spatula. [spatula: an inplement with a broad, flat, blunt bladem, used for mixing an spreading things: Spachtel]
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Ploy.
3: Plethora. Macadamia.
1: Beluga.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Gazebo.
2: Bulbous Bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Shindig. Beluga. [shindig (informal): a large, lively party, especially one celebrating something : „Remmidemmi"]
3: Bamboozle.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Plethora.
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Beluga. Gazebo.
1: Hullabaloo. [hullaballo (informal): a commotion, a fuss: spektakel, Radau]
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Plethora.
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Beluga. Gazebo.
1: Gabardine.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Plethora.
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Beluga. Gazebo.
1: Tuberculosis.
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Plethora.
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Beluga. Gazebo.
1: Foible. [foible: a minor weakness or eccentricity in a someone’s character: Faible, Schwäche, Eigenheit]
1: Gazebo.
3: Igloo.
2: Bulbous bouffant.
3: Ploy.
1: Plethora.
3: Macadamia.
2: Bamboozle.
1: Beluga. Gazebo.
1: BUS!
2: Ah, here comes the bus.
3: Oh, yeah.
1: Good.

[Marty Van Diest]

warpt...

not sure what that was, but I have to admit, I had a grin on my face by the end.

[allforcats]

Warptman is one of the most fun, brilliant, glistening-mind people I've never met :-)!!!!!!!

[warptman]

Its from Dr. Demento....

[Rance]

Dr. Demento is weird!