Alaskans Jeff Foxworthy Style (house, lease, work)

[ErikaKazan]

For those of you who have never been here, Welcome to our world! To the Alaskans, Welcome Home! Is there even one of these that you have not done, seen or completely identify with personally? I didn't find one.
Erika

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Alaskans:

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there,
you may live in Alaska.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alaska.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong
number, you may live in Alaska.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Alaska.

If you know several people who have hit a moose more than once, you may live
in
Alaska.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you may
live in Alaska.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without
flinching, you may live in Alaska.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked,
you may live in Alaska.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
may live
in Alaska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may
live in
Alaska.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody
is
passing you, you may live in Alaska.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you
may live in Alaska.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you may live in Alaska.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in
Alaska.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Alaska.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to your entire
Alaskan
friends & others, you definitely live in Alaska

[Barkingowl]

Those were funny!

[Rance]

And true! Seriously!

[icarian]

Very good...and as already said, so true

[rotorhead]

Hey, there's nothing wrong with wearing a parka and shorts at the same time, is there? I mean, as long as you don't forget the Xtra Tuffs.

[Floyd_Davidson]

Originally Posted by ErikaKazan

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Alaska.

I knew an old guy once who used to get a bit snockered every night, and as a result dialed up many a wrong number, and often had long conversations with them. One time he really blew it though... he offered the gal an airplane ticket to Alaska. They ended up getting married.

The story gets worse though. This was 30 years or so ago, right about the time that "three wheelers" first came out. (I think they're basically illegal now, because they're so dangerous, but it was one heck of an advance over Honda Trail-90 two wheel bikes!) Anyway, this guy bought his new wife a 3-wheeler, she flipped it and broke her arm, and he had it up for sale. So I bought it, but only after some interesting discussion with a co-worker... during which he made the crack that he should buy it, because he might get lucky and his wife would roll it over too, and maybe break her jaw! I was more interested in broken necks...

Somebody overheard that, and his wife and mine both found out about this discussion we had. They were not pleased...