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Haha, that's exactly what I was getting at
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My favorite part about the whole TSA experience is the total randomness of it. It adds so much to the experience when you don't know whether they'll deny you, delay you, or just steal your stuff and call it good.
I especially enjoy the inverse relationship between the actual importance of the town you're traveling from and how anal-retentive and self-important the screeners that work there act. Every little uniformed goober in small-town Kansas or wherever seems to think that he/she is a mission-critical front-line shocktrooper in a heroic struggle against global terrorism when they confiscate some childs juicebox or a little old ladys nail file. It's like a full-employment act for our entire US population of wannabe Napoleans and mini-Hitlers... with a salary and full health benefits.![]() My take on the matter is that the whole "fly the plane into the building" thing was a non-issue by plane number four on 9/11, since the passengers obviously foiled that attempt. You could totally insure it'll never happen again, ever, by the simple expedient of clipping a Louisville Slugger to every row of seats. If anyone ever rushed the cockpit again you'd need a spatula and a DNA test to figure out who they'd been. ![]() In the spirit of good fun, I suggest a contest for the best "corrected" term for the TSA acronym. I'm going to lead off with the following, for which I take full credit for probably stealing from somewhere else that I've forgotten about. TSA = They'll Steal Anything Seriously, they've stolen cash from my wifes wallet at least once and some other stuff mysteriously disappeared from our "inspected" bags. |
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HA...I love it....no kidding TSA = They'll Soil Anything (nasty fingerprints on my jeans...why weren't they wearing gloves?)
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I'm thinking that the whole TSA "confiscation" bit is part of their benefits package to offset their low salary. You know "All the free toiletries, makeup, and booze (Met's wine) that you can possibly ask for" with their totally arbitrary and random practices....oh and all the gadjets and gizmos and a clothing allowance are located in the checked baggage for their convenience. Isn't that the employee incentive package?
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Next time I fly I'm taking some cheap rotgut wine like Yellowtail Merlot along...
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Add a nice wheel of Limberger cheese with it ![]() |
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