Making the BIG move! (Dillingham, Metlakatla: home, pros and cons, living)

[thebushman]

so ive finally decided that in the summer of 09 im going to move to Dillingham, AK. I will be living with my dad, step-mom, and step-sister. I am very excited, i can not way to get out in the bush and hunt, fish, hike, and anything else. But I am going to have to break the news to my mom. It will be a hard thing for me to do because my 22 year old brother is moving out and then i will be moving out so that just leaves her with one kid left, my little brother. Any ideas on how to break the news to her?

[Rance]

Just sit her down and look her in the eye. Then tell her about your plans. If she needs a shoulder to cry on...give her one.

[thebushman]

Originally Posted by Rance

Just sit her down and look her in the eye. Then tell her about your plans. If she needs a shoulder to cry on...give her one.

well its kinda difficult, because i mean we love each other but we kinda fight alot. So im just worried shes going to give me hell until i do move.

[mongazid]

You can't pass up an opertunity of a lifetime. If you have been a real pain in the butt, she might help you pack.

[Jonotastic]

The only thing that I can think of that would make her feel hurt and maybe go a bit on the offesive is that she might feel you are choosing your dad and step mom over her even though she has been taking care of you for the past x number of years. I don't know how their relationship is, but if it isn't so well, just reassure her that you love her and appreciate everything she has done for you. If that makes any sense.

[thebushman]

Originally Posted by mongazid

You can't pass up an opertunity of a lifetime. If you have been a real pain in the butt, she might help you pack.

lol, its not me that has been a pain in the butt. Just about everybody can not stand her. And i defiinitley wouldn't pass this chance up.

[thebushman]

Originally Posted by Jonotastic

The only thing that I can think of that would make her feel hurt and maybe go a bit on the offesive is that she might feel you are choosing your dad and step mom over her even though she has been taking care of you for the past x number of years. I don't know how their relationship is, but if it isn't so well, just reassure her that you love her and appreciate everything she has done for you. If that makes any sense.

hmmm good idea, ty

[Metlakatla]

It's probably crossed your mother's mind a time or two that you could possibly go live there.

How old are you?

well its kinda difficult, because i mean we love each other but we kinda fight alot. So im just worried shes going to give me hell until i do move.

She might surprise you, unless she's one of those totally controlling people who want their children to live at home until they're 60. She's got to have thought about you and your siblings leaving home at some point.

Maybe it's something that she could get used to gradually; hint around a bit maybe and see how she responds.

[thebushman]

Originally Posted by Metlakatla

It's probably crossed your mother's mind a time or two that you could possibly go live there.

How old are you?



She might surprise you, unless she's one of those totally controlling people who want their children to live at home until they're 60. She's got to have thought about you and your siblings leaving home at some point.

Maybe it's something that she could get used to gradually; hint around a bit maybe and see how she responds.

im 15, and that is a great idea about hinting around ill try this out.

ty very much

[Bagder]

Speaking from personal experience, I was in a similar position once upon a time.

It was staying with my dad though. My mother had moved away to Canada to get away from him. He guilted me into staying with him and ended up leaving me with a step-mother who hated me when he got a better offer. At that point I was trapped, I was miserable, she was miserable and I resented him until he passed many years later. I wish I'd had the b@!!'s to stand up for myself and do what made me happy.

Sometimes when people find they are in an unhappy situation, they'll do whatever they can to escape. Drugs, alcohol, finding trouble, etc. That was my personal experience; and I don't know you, I can only tell you how it worked out for me. It took me years to get it together. To quit being angry. You are your own person Bushman.

I do know there is a world of difference between Oklahoma and Alaska. I've been to both. Alaska is not "The Discovery Channel", but it is quite possibly the most beautiful place I've ever been.

Breathtaking.

Oklahoma is; well, it's Oklahoma. It looks to me just like the rest of the lower 48. Same chain foods, same mall stores, same cable channels. Safe. It really is comparing apples to oranges. Again; this is my personal experience.

At this point, only you can know what will be best for you. I'm sure your mother loves you, and I'm sure she's going to feel a sense of rejection. She's human like the rest of us. There's no getting around that. You just need to understand that going into it.

You're going to find yourself in a similar postion some day so be kind. Remember that.

How are your dad and his wife with you going up to Alaska? Are you going to be a help or a hinderance? What I mean by that is; will you pull your own weight? What will you contribute to the household? Not money, but help. Are you going to be the man everyone wants to have around, or are you expecting to be taken care of? That makes a world of difference in how your experience will be.

Alaska isn't easy.

Alaskans are a breed apart. They are what America used to be when I was your age. Self reliant, self aware and willing to take responsiblity for themselves. I admire that and I miss it.

Now the question you have to ask yourself is "what will be best for me". I'm not talking about for your self gratification but for your self esteem. Where will you be happiest and the most productive? Which route will make you the person you want to become? Make a pros and cons list for each to help you decide.

I wish you the best of luck Bushman with whatever you decide and wherever life takes you.