For the Monitor Spitters - An Ode to Oosik (Barrow: crimes, shop)

[Barkingowl]

Strange things have been done in the midnight sun
and the storybooks are full;
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
magnificent walrus bull.

I know its rude, quite common & crude,
perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
is as ugly in front as behind.

How can this be, this clandestine glee
that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows there inside, beneath blubber & hide
lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!

"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,
I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth,
"oosik" is, in fact, his penis!
Now the size alone of this walrus bone
would indeed arouse envious thinking;
It is also a fact, documented & backed,
there is never a softening or shrinking.

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid;
Pray, why is not man so endowed?

Added to this is a smile you might miss--
though the bull is entitled to bow--
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
is the satisfied walrus cow!

[Grannysroost]

I do not know, nor do I want to know how you come up with this stuff or find it..., but thanks for the warning

[Barkingowl]

I'm reading a book called Moose Dropping & other crimes against nature.

[The Grill God]

Keep them coming Chris, great entertainment...

[stiffnecked]

You can't be a true sourdough until you've kissed the oosik. One of my early calls as a cop in Barrow involved using an oosik as an offensive weapon.

[Grannysroost]

Ewwwww!!!! Last week I saw one those grody food programs and think they were eating some kind of soup made with oosik, think was snake

Did ya kiss it?

[karibear]

Originally Posted by stiffnecked

You can't be a true sourdough until you've kissed the oosik. One of my early calls as a cop in Barrow involved using an oosik as an offensive weapon.

I hope it was no longer attached to the walrus??

[Barkingowl]

Originally Posted by stiffnecked

You can't be a true sourdough until you've kissed the oosik. One of my early calls as a cop in Barrow involved using an oosik as an offensive weapon.

How about having had the oosik used on you as a strap on?

[stiffnecked]

The gift shop next to the Board of Trade Saloon in Nome has oosiks in all sizes, shapes and varying colors. They are actually a very nice work of art when crafted properly.

[tasmtairy]

My Dad uses Oosik for custom knife handles on fixed blades and folders. Its is very beautiful actually!!