The Bears Are Here (Anchorage, Sterling: cul-de-sac, home, to buy)

[AlaskaKash]

To The Neighbor Who Leaves Their Trash Out:

Hello neighbor! I wanted to take a moment to send you a note on how your habits create an unsafe environment for myself, my children and bears. Yes, I know, we live on the east side of Anchorage and are lucky enough to have Ft. Richardson's land on the other side of our fence. This creates an awesome greenbelt and makes it quiet and secluded in an otherwise pretty crappy part of town. The sad thing is, everyone on the cul-de-sac and the street seem to take pride in their home while you seem to think your backyard, which of course is only visible to me, was designed to be the equivellant of a junk yard. Its an eyesore and it sucks because no matter how often I call the city, you seem to be compliant....or you bribe them. I'm not sure yet.

I notice you don't place your trash cans out on trash day and have a pick up truck bed that has been converted into a trailer as your own personal dumpster. Really? After 5 years of having bear problem, stepping in bear crap and seeing trash strewed across your yard you don't think you may be contributing to the problem? In fact, I took a picture last year of the bear standing in your trailer with a Tyson Hot Wings Bag in its mouth. Like me, I am sure he is now hooked on hot wings.

If you are on here and reading this, yes it was me that finally had enough after asking you to no longer do this and called the city. I noticed the trash has been picked up and the trailer is empty.....we'll see how long this lasts.

Unfortunately I still have to worry about these bears coming around this year because they have come to expect a buffet in your front yard.

Thanks For The Photo Dillhole,
~AlaskaKash

For those of you whom live on the edge of town, please be sure to get a Bear Can from Alaska Waste or keep your trash locked up until trash day.

[lyoness]

I've always wondered, do those who garden have a compost heap? I would think it would attract the bears and moose, but maybe not so much?

[Barkingowl]

Sounds like your neighbor needs a more personal encounter with the bears.

[Jason28]

I got some great tips on avoiding bears.

The first thing you want to do is go to the local grocery store and buy a ham from the deli. When I say a ham I mean the whole thing. It should weigh around 10 lbs. The next thing you want to buy is about twenty feet of rope. When you get home dig a hole in the ham big enough to put the rope through. Attach the ham. Attach the other end of the rope around your waist. Now when you go out hiking any bear that would bother you will be so preoccupied by the ham that he will leave you alone. Go out hiking in the forrests without a care in the world.


Another suggestion I have for avoiding bears out in the wild requires approximately six containers of chocolate frosting and a butter knife. Ask yourself, "How do bears find people out in the wild?". That answer is easy, they see your footprints and follow you to see if you have change for a ten. Well all you have to do is cover your tracks in the wild with chocolate frosting using the butterknife. It spreads over easy enough and mixes right in with the mud. Sprinkles are optional for enhanced track covering.

If I told you anymore about my advanced bear avoidance techniques I would have to charge 9.95$ plus shipping and handling for my new upcoming book entitled "How to avoid a bear for idiots"®.

[Grannysroost]

Originally Posted by Jason28

I got some great tips on avoiding bears.

The first thing you want to do is go to the local grocery store and buy a ham from the deli. When I say a ham I mean the whole thing. It should weigh around 10 lbs. The next thing you want to buy is about twenty feet of rope. When you get home dig a hole in the ham big enough to put the rope through. Attach the ham. Attach the other end of the rope around your waist. Now when you go out hiking any bear that would bother you will be so preoccupied by the ham that he will leave you alone. Go out hiking in the forrests without a care in the world.


Another suggestion I have for avoiding bears out in the wild requires approximately six containers of chocolate frosting and a butter knife. Ask yourself, "How do bears find people out in the wild?". That answer is easy, they see your footprints and follow you to see if you have change for a ten. Well all you have to do is cover your tracks in the wild with chocolate frosting using the butterknife. It spreads over easy enough and mixes right in with the mud. Sprinkles are optional for enhanced track covering.

If I told you anymore about my advanced bear avoidance techniques I would have to charge 9.95$ plus shipping and handling for my new upcoming book entitled "How to avoid a bear for idiots"®.

LOL...what not to do in other words...Bear info for dummies book maybe....

[Jason28]

Originally Posted by Grannysroost

LOL...what not to do in other words...Bear info for dummies book maybe....

Sure make fun of me now. Once the book is a national best seller I'll remember this comment when you ask me to autograph it.

[Grannysroost]

Originally Posted by Jason28

Sure make fun of me now. Once the book is a national best seller I'll remember this comment when you ask me to autograph it.

Not making fun of 'you' at all...maybe you should just mail me an autographed copy, as I don't much like standing in line with the crowds...

[Glitch]

Originally Posted by AlaskaKash

To The Neighbor Who Leaves Their Trash Out:

Hello neighbor! I wanted to take a moment to send you a note on how your habits create an unsafe environment for myself, my children and bears. Yes, I know, we live on the east side of Anchorage and are lucky enough to have Ft. Richardson's land on the other side of our fence. This creates an awesome greenbelt and makes it quiet and secluded in an otherwise pretty crappy part of town. The sad thing is, everyone on the cul-de-sac and the street seem to take pride in their home while you seem to think your backyard, which of course is only visible to me, was designed to be the equivellant of a junk yard. Its an eyesore and it sucks because no matter how often I call the city, you seem to be compliant....or you bribe them. I'm not sure yet.

I notice you don't place your trash cans out on trash day and have a pick up truck bed that has been converted into a trailer as your own personal dumpster. Really? After 5 years of having bear problem, stepping in bear crap and seeing trash strewed across your yard you don't think you may be contributing to the problem? In fact, I took a picture last year of the bear standing in your trailer with a Tyson Hot Wings Bag in its mouth. Like me, I am sure he is now hooked on hot wings.

If you are on here and reading this, yes it was me that finally had enough after asking you to no longer do this and called the city. I noticed the trash has been picked up and the trailer is empty.....we'll see how long this lasts.

Unfortunately I still have to worry about these bears coming around this year because they have come to expect a buffet in your front yard.

Thanks For The Photo Dillhole,
~AlaskaKash

For those of you whom live on the edge of town, please be sure to get a Bear Can from Alaska Waste or keep your trash locked up until trash day.

Good letter. I would like to see the Department of Fish & Game cite these idiots who leave their trash out or uncovered with illegal bear baiting, because that is exactly what they are doing whether they realize it or not. They either don't care, or they are completely ignorant to the harm they are causing.

[arctichomesteader]

The bears are out here too, saw some sign the other day in the woods. Perhaps bears aren't as dangerous as some think. If they were, with all the stupidity from people I see, there should be a lot more attacks.

[Rance]

There's been some brownies pretty much all over Sterling. A big one yesterday on the airstrip chasing a moose, one up by Bings a neighbor lady saw while jogging, and my step sisters on Scout Loop have had one in the yard a couple nights now.