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Old 05-15-2009, 04:34 PM
 
15,845 posts, read 15,247,530 times
Reputation: 6898
Default Letter to the editor I just fired off

To the individual(s) involved in breaking in to my niece's vehicle and stealing her stuff:

I imagine that some tedious penchant for methamphetamines et al was the catalyst for your recent indulgence in cowardly break ins and thefts (come on; we all know you aren't ripping off your own community to enhance your Pokemon collection). How some of you people can put that garbage into your systems is of course beyond me; I can only surmise that some dreary little recessive white trash gene is a variable in this type of behavior.

Do us all a favor and rise above this. Think of your teeth if nothing else. Take a long look at the mouths of the old crankheads around town and ask yourself if you seriously want that to be reflective of your dental future. Methmouth is so exceedingly unsavory and nothing says "look at me, I'm a loser who doesn't have enough self esteem not to ingest substances made with rat poison and battery acid" quite as profoundly as a pie hole partially inhabited by raggedy old discolored teeth accented with black dental holes.


Let's take a moment to discuss whatever future you may have. Petty crime must be such a crashing bore, so here are some alternatives for you to consider. Get a job, get a hobby, at least get a functioning brain cell (get a passport and go couch surfing in Sicilia). Get an ice cream maker, a microdistillery or both and pick berries all summer and turn them into something useful. Learn how to make classic French truffles; it's so easy if you have the right quality of chocolate and a bit of Charmbord to use in place of vanilla extract. You can also learn to do exquisite things with Frangelico.

Get a flippin' clue.


Because the petty theft strewn road you're on is only going to lead you to a couple of rather similar places ("happiness is a warm Glock"). But the most likely place'll be occupied by some hunky roomates with interesting nicknames and most definitely even more interesting ideas.

Capice, "Princess"?



Metlakatla
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
25,650 posts, read 7,647,706 times
Reputation: 57879
That was great!!

But if they are on Meth, they probably do not read the newspaper.
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:44 PM
 
15,845 posts, read 15,247,530 times
Reputation: 6898
Small town; they'll hear about and maybe even find a second grader to read it to them.
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
25,650 posts, read 7,647,706 times
Reputation: 57879
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metlakatla View Post
Small town; they'll hear about and maybe even find a second grader to read it to them.

LOL!! Perfect
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:45 PM
 
1,333 posts, read 1,763,245 times
Reputation: 594
Met, eloquent as usual!
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Old 05-15-2009, 07:53 PM
 
11,763 posts, read 17,764,522 times
Reputation: 2649
Any pics of the hunky roommates?
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:03 PM
 
4,988 posts, read 5,362,069 times
Reputation: 3199
Great letter! Sadly, the target audience will be incapable of reading it, let alone comprehending.
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Old 05-15-2009, 09:23 PM
 
Location: From UK to AK via MI
261 posts, read 449,290 times
Reputation: 146
After my experience with valley trash i'd give that a definate thumbs up Met !!
Living here is a definate eye opener there are better places in the world that is for sure.
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:53 AM
 
Location: Over the Rainbow...
5,964 posts, read 6,902,413 times
Reputation: 3059
Quote:
Originally Posted by New_Horizon View Post
After my experience with valley trash i'd give that a definate thumbs up Met !!
Living here is a definate eye opener there are better places in the world that is for sure.



Granted there "is" pure trash in the Valley, however, I have found this to be true everywhere I have went. I have also found honest, decent people in the Valley and other places I have been. You'll find trash in Anchorage, Eagle River, and the bush areas, as well as all over the U.S. That was a bad experience for you and those folks were pure trash. However, they could not have taken advantage of you if you had let them know "it's cash up front for the total price" or no deal. As I said in an earlier post, the day of the handshake is long gone. Keep all your business dealings strictly "business" - receipts, paid in full, etc., not taking someone's word for something unfortunately. You mentioned something about Haines in your "handshake" post...so where was this guy from...Anchorage, the Valley or Haines?

Did you read Met's post "letter to the editor" ? which you obviously did, and I'm going to assume that happened in Oregon. As I said, trash, thieves and scumbags are ALL over. If you can find a better place in the world where there is absolutely no trash or unethical people, please let me know.

Last edited by Alaskapat528; 05-16-2009 at 04:33 AM.. Reason: add
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
14,838 posts, read 24,438,754 times
Reputation: 12932
Sterling has no valley trash. We have our own trash. We just had a town hall meeting the other night concerning a recent flurry of thefts. One of the local kids was caught redhanded, tracked home at 4:00 AM, stash of loot including guns found in the woods near his house. Called in the troopers and a bust was made. Two adults and one minor. The minor was doing all the dirty work and selling items to the adults.
Our trash problem just got a whole lot smaller. We are now ordering neighborhood watch signs and seriously contemplating a neighborhood patrol for some of the elderly womenfolk. Being a community we don't have funding. It's all voluntary from the good folks of Sterling/Naptown, Alaska.
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