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Old 09-30-2009, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Big Island- Hawaii, AK, WA where the whales are!
1,492 posts, read 3,559,247 times
Reputation: 780

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OK Yes I was a tourist so I am not bashing tourists. I don't think a couple of days in Alaska 23 years ago and two months now give me any local status. Now the season is closing was wondering if you all have good ones for the summer. Here are a few I heard while in Alaska.... I swear to god these were all real...

In Seward (for you that don't know it is on the bay = Sea level)
What is the elavation here?
What kinda bait do you use for Orcas? (I responded it was only legal for cruise ships to fish.)
How much $$ does it cost the city to keep the bay warm enough to not freeze? And where and when do they turn on the heaters?
Is that a Ice fishing hut? (It was the Seward ship yard that holds a 200 ft ship and no ice.)
When do the smoked Salmon run?

Watched a Aussie try to pick up a lesbian - used every line. It was obviouse that she wasn't into men. We all watched to see it play out.. she was being really cool. Finally asked where her husband was. She looked all around and said "OMG I must of lost him when I realized I was a lesbian!" He turned to us and mouthed "I have never met one before and walked down to end of the bar with her saying "We are really nice people and even live in Australia." Finally he realized he was being rude went back and asked her to explain how this works.

And the best was a woman off the cruise ship saw the sign for end of season party with Hobo Jim - best tourist outfit prize... she had hair teazed out real big, Tammy Fay makeup with the blue eye shadow, platform sneakers, spandex that shouldn't have been worn. She asked the bartender "So what do you wear to this?" We all just turned away.

Any others???
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:16 PM
 
693 posts, read 1,373,135 times
Reputation: 428
OMG. That is hilarious! Poor Aussie men...some of 'em just don't have the "gaydar" on.
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Bliss Township, Michigan
6,423 posts, read 11,082,256 times
Reputation: 6773
Those are great Countrygal.

One that I can remember off the top of my head was this lady looking for Alaska gifts and ask if there were any alligators.
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Morristown, TN
1,754 posts, read 3,598,348 times
Reputation: 1328
Ah... so y'all get some of what NM experiences, huh?
When word got around that we were moving to NEW Mexico we heard such gems as:

Do ya'll have your passports?
You better watch out! Your kids will get swine flu and DIE! (For the record, TN has a higher incident of swine flu illnesses and deaths than NM)
You're gonna LOVE the white sand beaches and blue waters!
You'd better boil your horses' water.

And my all time favorite....

"What are y'all going to do out there? I mean, i'll bet they love Easterners to go there, because the native people won't work.'
I sooooo badly wanted to tell 'em that my husband was going to run the saloon and i'd ranch by day and sing at the piano at night- but I resisted. Barely.
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:16 PM
 
693 posts, read 1,373,135 times
Reputation: 428
It's amazing how "ignorant" people can be...but at the same time, when people are totally thrown out of their environment, they get a bit lost. So...it's good when they get out and learn a bit!
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Interior alaska
6,381 posts, read 11,949,658 times
Reputation: 3470
A friend use to own the Milepost 1260 lodge, which is some sixty miles or so inside the Alaskan Boarder from Canada on the Al-Can...

When the "American's" came to get gas, they would ask what the rate of exchange is for American Money... Jim would say two to one, when they gave him a U.S. twenty, he gave them a U.S.ten back...

Then there is the "Where do you go to see penguins?"

When I was down in Baltimore picking up a sailboat I bought on Ebay to bring back to Alaska, people would ask how I am going to get there when it is an Island... I would ask "What?" and their response was they see it on TV just below Hawaii on the weather reports...

Then they would ask why I was taking a sailboat to Alaska, and I told them that Ice fishing started in two weeks and I wanted to get back with the boat to fish... they would nod their head, say "Oh" and walk off.
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Singapore
3,293 posts, read 4,254,856 times
Reputation: 1895
Fishing for ice?
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Old 09-30-2009, 11:38 PM
 
Location: Interior alaska
6,381 posts, read 11,949,658 times
Reputation: 3470
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candle View Post
Fishing for ice?
Yep, I know guys that caught up to fifty pounds of ice in one day!!!

There was even some guys using snowmachines for faster trolling!
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Old 09-30-2009, 11:42 PM
 
Location: Bethel, Alaska
21,358 posts, read 32,319,499 times
Reputation: 13696
Some years ago here in Bethel during the K-300 Sled Dog race, some person walked up and asked me about a wooden freight sled and asked if the strings that held it together was sinew. I had a laugh about that.
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Old 09-30-2009, 11:49 PM
 
Location: Barrow, Alaska
3,539 posts, read 6,415,277 times
Reputation: 1828
Quote:
Originally Posted by warptman View Post
Some years ago here in Bethel during the K-300 Sled Dog race, some person walked up and asked me about a wooden freight sled and asked if the strings that held it together was sinew. I had a laugh about that.
There are a lot of skin boats here in Barrow that are lashed together with sinew.
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