Albuquerque's Biggest Problem (Santa Fe, Rio Rancho, Placitas: crime rate, mortgage, house)

[lemon&lime]

I've read this on this board before and it may be true about some friendly types but it isn't true about me. I am someone who genuinely cares. I think what stingraynm is talking about is the ability to strike up conversations or connect with people on a superficial basis yet feel that the other person or people are also outgoing, caring, maybe not friends for life, but at least *receptive*. I'm always grateful that I have one friend in Albuquerque, because I would not want to go through the hassle of trying to connect with people who essentially remote.

Originally Posted by ABQConvict

'Friendly' does not, by any means, mean 'wants to be friends'.

It is quite possible that the aloof, 'unfriendly' person is actually quite a nice person, becoming of friendship, while the outgoing, 'friendly' and smiling person doesn't give two cr*ps about who you are, where you came from, or whether you want to go for a hike in the Sandias this weekend.

Making friends in a new city is difficult and the best way, as is oft repeated on this forum and others, is to join an interest group.

ABQConvict

[lemon&lime]

SO TRUE. I was never able to decide whether to have plastic surgery when I lived there and ended up leaving to go to what I perceived to be a more "with it" location (Salt Lake). People on this forum have said that Albuquerque "DOESN'T NEED" plastic surgeons yet even a podunk town like Tucson has Frederick Menick. If I move back I will still be seeking help out of state. Albuquerque now has a high end shopping center that I read has Sephora... there is a Aveda school that trains hair stylists so they can work in higher end salons... like Mark Pardo, because, after all, looks do matter.... I'm kind of sad about moving back for this reason. The bizarre hypocrisy that underpins the Albuquerque community, I will never understand it.

Originally Posted by nmnita

......We had lots of wonderful friends which we miss terribly, other than that and the beauty of the area I really have to say, I don't miss it at all. We found, after 7 years the entire state had too many problems, bad schools, (Abq certainly) lack of doctors, poverty, and yes, not a real feeling of community as well has high crime. It seemed many, who had lived in NM all their lives didn't really want to see any changes. If we don't and prosper we die (I am referring to cities) NM has so much to offer, but pride isn't one of the things.Nita

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by catrinac

SO TRUE. I was never able to decide whether to have plastic surgery when I lived there and ended up leaving to go to what I perceived to be a more "with it" location (Salt Lake). People on this forum have said that Albuquerque "DOESN'T NEED" plastic surgeons yet even a podunk town like Tucson has Frederick Menick. If I move back I will still be seeking help out of state. Albuquerque now has a high end shopping center that I read has Sephora... there is a Aveda school that trains hair stylists so they can work in higher end salons... like Mark Pardo, because, after all, looks do matter.... I'm kind of sad about moving back for this reason. The bizarre hypocrisy that underpins the Albuquerque community, I will never understand it.

they also have added a Trader Joes in the NOrth East area which is a little more upscale. There is money in ABQ, no one would say everyone is poor or use drugs and there are some young neighborhoods that are trendy, upscale and desirable, but overall I think they have a long way to go.

We now live in an area with a county not any bigger than Valencia county if as big, we have no shortage of doctors, good labs, and 2 hospitals.
Nita

[rybert]

ABQ is not about vanity at all... never has been.

[desert sun]

Im glad ABQ isnt superficial-- Its not about impressing people or keeping up with the Jones', its about being yourself and if you feel comfortable than thats all that matters

and people can have pride in themselves but not in the city at the same time, I think

[truckzter]

Originally Posted by catrinac

there is a Aveda school that trains hair stylists so they can work in higher end salons... like Mark Pardo, because, after all, looks do matter....

I just want to add that, being from California, Aveda Salons are considered inexpensive (haircut prices start at $35). Even little hole-in-the-wall CA salons charge $40+ for a cr@ppy haircut. For me, if I'm going to get my hair cut, I might as well like it. I don't go to Aveda because it is Aveda. I go to Aveda because I found a hair stylist I like.

Originally Posted by nmnita

they also have added a Trader Joes in the North East area which is a little more upscale.

I've price checked and found that Trader Joe's is generally cheaper than Albertsons or Vons .. with better quality. So I vote for more Trader Joe's!

[EnjoyEP]

Originally Posted by finmqa1

I really do think the friendliness of Albuquerque depends on where you are coming from. If you are moving from Boise or Charlotte, then I would think we can seem rude or less friendly. However, if you are coming from L.A. or Chicago, the perception changes to quite friendly. I don't think there is a proper response to the city's friendly factor because there are too many variables.

Good point, finmqa1.

I do think "friendly" is such a subjective term though too, and it likely means something different to each and every one of us. It is all how we see the world through our own filters, blinders, etc.

To me, ABQ seemed friendlier in general that here in the bigger cities of the Upper Midwest. However, here in Milwaukee, often people find it friendly too (which I don't necessarily disagree with). I guess it just depends.

The primary reason I guess I found ABQ so friendly is because I found ABQ so laid back, so "manana"-esque...and to me, that fits my personality well as being friendly and amenable. However, I recognize to others, that drives 'em nuts.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by truckzter

I just want to add that, being from California, Aveda Salons are considered inexpensive (haircut prices start at $35). Even little hole-in-the-wall CA salons charge $40+ for a cr@ppy haircut. For me, if I'm going to get my hair cut, I might as well like it. I don't go to Aveda because it is Aveda. I go to Aveda because I found a hair stylist I like.



I've price checked and found that Trader Joe's is generally cheaper than Albertsons or Vons .. with better quality. So I vote for more Trader Joe's!

me too, I am finding more and more, specialty stores are a better bet than the super markets. Add to that the bulk stores like Sams and even the Wal Marts (which are certainly not cheap) and I see fewer and fewer depending on super markets for their food supplies. It is like the malls and dept stores, we are seeing more go under. So many people are shopping at specialty stores, on line, discount outlet malls, Kohls, etc. I do not know how long it has been since I have actually shopped at an old fashion mall. My daughters, both liveing in upscale areas or upward mobile anyway (one in Fl, one in Tx) never do the mall scene...

Nita

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by truckzter

I just want to add that, being from California, Aveda Salons are considered inexpensive (haircut prices start at $35). Even little hole-in-the-wall CA salons charge $40+ for a cr@ppy haircut. For me, if I'm going to get my hair cut, I might as well like it. I don't go to Aveda because it is Aveda. I go to Aveda because I found a hair stylist I like.



I've price checked and found that Trader Joe's is generally cheaper than Albertsons or Vons .. with better quality. So I vote for more Trader Joe's!

me too, I am finding more and more, specialty stores are a better bet than the super markets. Add to that the bulk stores like Sams and even the Wal Marts (which are certainly not cheap) and I see fewer and fewer depending on super markets for their food supplies. It is like the malls and dept stores, more go under. So many people are shopping at specialty stores, on line, discount outlet malls, Kohls, etc. I do not know how long it has been since I have actually shopped at an old fashion mall. My daughters, both liveing in upscale areas or upward mobile anyway (one in Fl, one in Tx) never do the mall scene...

Nita

[stingraynm]

Originally Posted by catrinac

I've read this on this board before and it may be true about some friendly types but it isn't true about me. I am someone who genuinely cares. I think what stingraynm is talking about is the ability to strike up conversations or connect with people on a superficial basis yet feel that the other person or people are also outgoing, caring, maybe not friends for life, but at least *receptive*. I'm always grateful that I have one friend in Albuquerque, because I would not want to go through the hassle of trying to connect with people who essentially remote.

Pretty much... in my posts here, I'm referring to the most shallow interactions (e.g., waiting in line, browsing similar items) and also the casual acqaintances (e.g., same hobby, same "watering hole").

Deeper friendships require an initial acquaintance. Still, I'm definitely well aware that all the deep "friends for life" relationships occur by chance, and usually involve both people stepping out on limbs when becoming acquainted and building a bond of trust over time. Like love, those sort of things can't be searched out (unless I do want to creep people out), but just have to be stumbled upon in coincidences.

I've got my deep friends in other states and am slow to find more, but I am looking for ways to catalyze more casual familiarity, and posters here gave helpful feedback in that respect. I'll also take your advice to look for fellow transplants, 'cause that creates a common sentiment and interest within itself... an "out-of-their-element" clique.

Plus, for both conventional and instinctive reasons, it's always easier to approach a new group as a group. I can certainly relate to groups who find the overtly friendly loner (me, unfortunately) rather suspect and even abrasive. Any reasonable person can't help but wonder when they meet an out-going person who doesn't know anybody. I've blown many of those types off, though in light of this experience, I'll be more likely to entertain them in the future. It is possible to be self-sufficient and sane, but still not know anybody; although, I guess it is a sign that I don't have much more to life than work, exercize, wilderness, and home for the time being. I guess that is pretty introverted and "boring" by a lot of peoples' standards, and we're all happier if those people continue to blow me off.