Advice???? Meeting/making friends (Albuquerque, Hope: transplants, camping, to live in) - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

violent cello · 11-08-2009, 11:42 AM

*hugs* Sorry it's been hard to meet people, RN! I'm 32 and most of my friends are from UNM (I went to grad school there) or they are friends my husband has had since he was in high school and college here. A lot of people seem to stick to people they have known for a while. I met new people through taking classes for fun at UNM, doing things like the 5K fun run, joining a biking group, and some volunteer work. But after I finished my grad degree I found it really hard to make friends for a while there.

I think Albuquerqueians are friendly, but they just don't often think to go out and meet new people if they have a ready made social circle. We eventually started hosting sit-down dinner parties for small numbers of friends, so people actually really got to talk to each other. When we had general birthday or holiday parties it was just a lot of standing around. But even though doing all this our friend circle is pretty small, we have a large number of "buddies" but that's not the same.

RNwithFamily · 11-08-2009, 12:43 PM

At least I know it IS possible. I guess its just taking longer than what I thought it would. I'm getting more and more homesick as the days pass. And hoping that I did not make a mistake moving here. Definitely nothing against ABQ or the people. I absolutely LOVE ABQ and I love my new job. But socially I feel so lonely.

berncohomes · 11-08-2009, 02:15 PM

Your missing Philly? At least you can see Philly on the TV tonight as they host Dallas.

joanie55 · 11-08-2009, 06:44 PM

Once you're out of your 20's the best way to make friends is at WORK. Ask David Letterman LOL.

violent cello · 11-08-2009, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNwithFamily

At least I know it IS possible. I guess its just taking longer than what I thought it would. I'm getting more and more homesick as the days pass. And hoping that I did not make a mistake moving here. Definitely nothing against ABQ or the people. I absolutely LOVE ABQ and I love my new job. But socially I feel so lonely.

I had serious homesickness when I first moved here from London! I think it's natural to feel homesick, I would even say it's natural to wake up one day and say "I hate this place and this was a huge mistake." If you find yourself thinking that, please don't despair

Once I felt that I booked flights home for Christmas to see my family and immediately I felt more settled. Now I love Abq.

One thing I will say is that even though a lot of people are settled in their own groups, once they meet a new person they are really interested in you and where you're from! They'll say to you "oh my god, why did you move HERE?!?!" A lot of people who live here have lived here all their lives and they aren't used to reaching out into new groups of people and trying new things to meet new people. Hence most of the people I met in social groups/classes etc here are not from NM.

Maybe we should have an Albuquerque CD meetup?

lilac2 · 11-13-2009, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violent cello

I had serious homesickness when I first moved here from London! I think it's natural to feel homesick, I would even say it's natural to wake up one day and say "I hate this place and this was a huge mistake." If you find yourself thinking that, please don't despair

Once I felt that I booked flights home for Christmas to see my family and immediately I felt more settled. Now I love Abq.

One thing I will say is that even though a lot of people are settled in their own groups, once they meet a new person they are really interested in you and where you're from! They'll say to you "oh my god, why did you move HERE?!?!" A lot of people who live here have lived here all their lives and they aren't used to reaching out into new groups of people and trying new things to meet new people. Hence most of the people I met in social groups/classes etc here are not from NM.

Maybe we should have an Albuquerque CD meetup?

I'm brand new here and also looking to meet others. what does the CD stand for?

lalahartma · 11-13-2009, 02:40 PM

City-Data.

motorcyclenut · 11-13-2009, 03:55 PM

moved several times in my life. Remember it took you many years to meet everyone you knew in your past life.(old home) Your starting all over I think it takes five years to feel like this new place is home. I think people move to a place and after a few years start thinking of all the things they miss from home. About the time they decide to move back they realize they have some great relationships that have been started, with a foundation just starting to form. Boom!!!! they move back home and miss what they just left. Words of Wisdom would be give it some time. Become familar with the city. Join a group look for a group to belong to. Church, Dancing classes, motorcycle group. Some type of group that you meet at least once a week. Give it time to happen.

RNwithFamily · 11-13-2009, 07:27 PM

Thanks for the advice. I since have started to get involved in church. I am going to join a Bikram Yoga class and hope to meet people through there too.

NM Appraiser · 11-13-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNwithFamily

Hi Everyone,

I feel lame asking the question... but, any advice on making/meeting new friends?

It seemed so much easier when we were younger and in school/college.

We are both 30 years old. We are usually quiet at first until we get more comfortable....

Its been almost 3 weeks since we arrived and now I am getting antsy for friends and things to do.

Thanks everyone.

Hi RN - bringing it back to the original question - I've never had a problem meeting and making friends here and I've lived here since 1975. I think it comes down to your personality aspect. I'm pretty much outgoing and friendly up front - it's easier being a guy too and I know that.

I do some volunteer stuff - stuff around and for UNM - and over the past several years I've been doing visits to nursing homes to at least provide a smile to the folks there. I recently had to put a long time friend away that I was POA for - the MS finally got to him. You can make lots of friends by being the person you really are. Albuquerque people are really open and friendly - it's only the few and far between that end up in the gangs and give us a bad name. I love this town.