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Fischer-girl- Glad to know we're not the only ones who felt that way and i'm sorry it isn't working out for you. I hope you can find happiness soon. Are you looking to go back to where you were or somewhere else?
I'd love to leave..but there is so much more to it than that. I've struggled for a year now to find my place at work (which is why we moved here in the first place) and be happy here. I've tried so hard to find the good in this place... and I can see it for a day or two and then that feeling fades. I would always talk about Florida Florida Florida..I've got to get back there. And wouldn't you know last week I got a job offer out there where I used to be..and I have to decline. The feelings are so conflicting. Do you ever, in your adult life, love where you live AND work?! I've finally been able to see that the job I have here was a blessing to begin with..I'm learning so much and doing some really great things..but at the same time hate what surrounds me. Can't stop thinking about the ocean. And sea birds. I do have to say that I think my negativity toward this place is strictly the result of being raised in the upper midwest...where virtually everything "New Mexico" was absent. Not to mention that hubby recently started a new career (which requires a huge commute of ONE MILE-- better than 120mi/day to ABQ) and he loves it!..which only makes the longing to move a bit scarier!
Props to you for making a move toward happiness for you and your family. It is not easy when you're not flying solo with no one else to answer to. I think Mike 0421 said it exactly right. We (by definition) ARE a minority and there will always be something about that concept that doesn't allow me to be at ease.
Kudos to MIKE0421 for his comment as apparently I've already given him too many rep points...
Last edited by Poncho_NM; 03-26-2010 at 11:55 AM..
Reason: Fixed quote
That I did, Desert Sun, that I did. :0) I understand about the *homey* feeling missing. I felt calm and at peace at times out there, but when we came back here it felt like we'd returned to ourselves, as if life had been put on hold for almost ten months. I wish you well.
I see your struggle, Fischergirl. I also see how much staying is tearing you up inside. That constant struggle to find the good, the overwhelming desire to be elsewhere.... it can eat you up inside. It did us. Not only did we lose much financially and physically, emotionally we were spent. Just be careful and don't stay too long- being where you don't want to be is tough, I know I never want to experience that feeling again. Greg summed it up well. When he turned in his notice, his boss told him he could make a phone call and have him in the desired location by the next day. His response? "Where was this when I told you months ago we couldn't go on like this? Sorry, no. Once you get down so far, nothing but leaving helps."
I think you all have great reasons and valid at that for not liking NM. However, I really feel attitude plays a big role in this. My wife who was born and raised in one of the greatest cities (San Francisco) moved here 8 years ago and truly loves it. You've seen posts by our former ambassador EnjoyEP, and wonder how he ever left in the first place. There are so many things wrong here in my native state, I wholeheartedly agree, but I believe this is true in many places. I do hope you remain happy in Tennessee and hopefully you'll visit our great state on occasion. Fischer-Girl, hopefully you'll be able to get back to Florida sooner than later, but while you're here, I hope you can find some level of happiness and enjoy the uniqueness while here. Best of luck to you both.
Oh, we'll absolutely be back, finmqa1. I don't know if you know the circumstances surround our move to NM, but it was for my health. We sat down and made a list of our needs and started researching. Two places seemed to fit our needs: Moriarty and Alamogordo. We visited both in June 2008 and Moriarty felt right. We subscribed to the paper and had it mailed to our home in TN. Found Greg a job and greatly downsized and moved on out. I got a job in Torrance County government and we explored our new state. We had, what I think was a GREAT attitude. We CHOSE to move to NM. For whatever reason, we weren't meant to stay there. I do think it'll be a few years before we can visit without bad memories intruding, but we do keep in touch with our friends from out there.
Oh, we'll absolutely be back, finmqa1. I don't know if you know the circumstances surround our move to NM, but it was for my health. We sat down and made a list of our needs and started researching. Two places seemed to fit our needs: Moriarty and Alamogordo. We visited both in June 2008 and Moriarty felt right. We subscribed to the paper and had it mailed to our home in TN. Found Greg a job and greatly downsized and moved on out. I got a job in Torrance County government and we explored our new state. We had, what I think was a GREAT attitude. We CHOSE to move to NM. For whatever reason, we weren't meant to stay there. I do think it'll be a few years before we can visit without bad memories intruding, but we do keep in touch with our friends from out there.
given your circumstances I certainly don't blame you for leaving! Just remember there are a lot of great people here so please don't hold us all accountable. Once the bad memories subside, if ever, please come and see us. And as a native I really struggle with a lot of NM issues too, but overall I've been blessed to have a wonderful life here. I do want to make my move to CA at some point though, but I see myself spending many more great years here.
Things had been rocky for a while- looking back, safe in our old farmhouse in TN, it's almost comedic. Back in NM, it was hellish.
First offender was Greg's job. The horrendous commute (900.00 bucks a month in fuel and 200 miles a day, round trip) and long hours (12-14 hours on top of a 1.5 hour drive in and the same drive home)- and the ever-present carrot of an office closer to home.......the drive across Clines Corners.....totalled his truck on Christmas Eve when he slid on ice... missed at least one day of work every two weeks due to the weather (for a workaholic, this was purgatory)
Bought a subaru as a commuter car in October, plugs fouled in December, replaced them and then the head cracked in January. Sold it for three grand less than we paid for it.
Didn't get the rental car assistance with our auto insurance- why would we? We had five operating vehicles when we took it out, by the time we headed back after an early January visit to TN, we had ONE operating vehicle, and I was driving it. We were towed, between four of the five vehicles, SEVEN times by AAA.
Various items, from dining chairs to tvs to vaccuum cleaners all self destructed.
Unending snow. 'Nuff said.
Bought a home on a land contract.... nice little place, built in the 90s, 1850 sq ft... newer heat pump with one of those heat store systems (forget the name, looks like grill briquets) and kept the thermostat at 70 and noone was home during the day. Our first electric bill was 435.00, second was 445.00- and this is after an hour long conversation with an engineer at the power company and a home phone call to check the systems.
Unending harrassment from the home seller's real estate agent- asking for the monthly payment before it was due, according to the contract- multiple times.
Things snowballed and our morale as a family hit the bottom. Any step forward was rewarded with a kick in the rear that knocked us three feet back.
On a visit back in January, Greg was offered a position making more money than he did in NM, with a much shorter commute and shorter work day. Our expenses here are a few grand less a month as well. As far as my health? Apparently, the house we owned and lived in before NM had mold INSIDE the walls. While mold doesn't create asthma, it can trigger it. The theory is that the mold activated the asthma and the humid air further irritated my lungs. Our time in NM allowed my lungs time to heal and strengthen. I can still feel the weight of the air, but it doesn't crush my chest like it used to. So far, i'm med free here. I'm not foolish enough to think it will continue this way, but if I can control it with meds, i'll be a happy woman.
I don't regret our time in NM and I think we were supposed to go there for a while. However, I do think perhaps we overstayed our welcome. We loved the beauty of the state, the great people, the affordability of almost everything and the great food and we'll be back on vacation, definitely.
Ramblin Rose, I know how excited you were last year with the inpending more and then after you got to NM, but like you realized nothing is perfect or forever. We relocated from Texas to NM as most know. We have wonderful memories of living there (7 years we were there) we made a lot of good friends, but it wasn't for us either. Everyplace has wonderful features and everyplace has downfalls. What works well for one family doesn't always work for another. We too will always be glad we lived in NM and we do go back to visit yearly.
Ramblin, I have no doubt you tried hard to make this work, but I just think that your family and New Mexico "got off on the wrong foot" so to speak. It doesn't mean you weren't meant to be here. It was unfortunate your husband was stuck with that commute, it would be worse than having to commute from Sewanee to Nashville. An unusually bad winter hit in a place which already has it worse than lots of other places in the state. Maybe if you look around in other more low-lying areas (maybe Alamogordo would have worked out better, or the Las Cruces area, perhaps) you could get the health benefit without all the hassles of snow, car problems, and high heating bills. Of course it all depends on employment opportunities. But I just don't think it's necessary to blame the whole state because of the bad timing you had when you moved here. I have found that when I move to a new place, I end up changing my living situation a couple of times before I find the right place for me. Especially if your health depends on it, I would hope you'd give the state another shake.
RRR, sorry to hear that things did not work out. But I am glad to hear your health is on the mend. Glad to hear that your DH got a good job back in Tn, and you had that to return to. Glad that we met, and hope to see you again sometime.
finmqua1- The people were never an issue. As a matter of fact, we were so well accepted, visitors to my office nicknamed me *Tennessee* and at my husband's place of work, coworkers called him *Boots*. lol
Nita- You sound just like we feel :0) I'm glad you were able to find your place as well.
Aries- I'm not debating the worthiness of NM with you. We CHOSE the area we did for a reason. No other area of NM (and we visited from Alamogordo to Taos when we came out in 08) fit our family, so we didn't take risks and schlep our family from city to city in hopes of finding our place. Some things are just not practical when you have an entourage of family and animals in tow. Taos was too expensive, Hondo Valley had no employment, Tres Piedras too clannish, Santa Fe too arty, Albuquerque too big, Alamogordo too brown. Everything on paper and in our experiences in NM pointed to Torrance County, we had no inking that a bad winter was coming, that things were going to self destruct, that bad things were going to happen. Sometimes we just have to face that $h!t happens.
Chile- Thanks. We hope y'all are in town when we make our next visit. The kids STILL talk about sledding with you!
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Once the bad memories subside, if ever, please come and see us. And as a native I really struggle with a lot of NM issues too, but overall I've been blessed to have a wonderful life here. I do want to make my move to CA at some point though, but I see myself spending many more great years here.
