Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is anyone else annoyed by this? You're invited to someone's home for dinner or a get-together, you take the time to make or buy something good to eat, or pick out a nice bottle of wine, and they never bring it out for you & the other guests.
Recently I picked a nice bottle of wine, not expensive, but moderate, like $25, to go especially with what my hosts planned to serve, and instead of opening it, they served Yellowtail. Nothing wrong with Yellowtail per se, but I kind of felt like they cheaped-out and hoarded the good stuff we'd brought.
Then at another family gathering for a dinner, we bought a home-made pie from a nearby farm where they make incredible pies. When it was time for dessert, they brought out a plate of cookies, an overly-sweet cake, and a fruit salad. Hope they enjoyed that pie after we left.
I NEVER get offended. If I'm a guest in someone's home I figure they put some effort and planning into their choices and I'm fine with that.
Though I bring my own wine to my sister's parties. She thinks the two buck chuck Merlot is wonderful. Me, not so much. She knows I'm going to bring my own wine and she's nice enough to indulge me.
if i were to bring wine i wouldnt really care. i dont drink wine. if i brought a dessert then it probably is because i thought it would be better than anything they will serve and i want it. plus a dessert is only going to last so long so i wouldnt see why they wouldnt serve it.
I don't have an issue with it either. In fact, I don't like it when the host/ess opens the bottle of wine that I brought with me. I want them to enjoy it and think of me when they do!
What they said. Your bottle of wine is a gift.
If you bring something to serve, unless it's a potluck, it implies that the hosts are not capable of providing for their guests.
You brought it as a host/ess gift. It is theirs to do with as they please.
Maybe you should bring a plant or some flowers next time?
This. Unless the host is planning to use what you bring ("TracySam, would you mind bringing a couple pies from that bakery by your house?"), you shouldn't expect for it to be used. It's a gift.
If you want to share the good stuff, have a dinner party and invite your friends to thank them for having you over. Win-win.
Though I bring my own wine to my sister's parties. She thinks the two buck chuck Merlot is wonderful. Me, not so much. She knows I'm going to bring my own wine and she's nice enough to indulge me.
Wow, I had no idea so many people felt this way--that it's a "gift" they should enjoy themselves!
When I bring a gift, I wrap it (so if it's wine, it will be in a nice gift bag), but when I bring something to contribute to the festivities, I hand it to them unwrapped. Sometimes I bring both. "Here's bottle for the party, here's a bottle for you two." But they'd BETTER open that bottle I designated for the party, or I'm offended and annoyed.
I would never think it's an insult to bring food or drink to a party, a message that they aren't "capable of providing." I was brought up with the "rule" that you NEVER go to someone's party/gathering empty-handed. You ALWAYS bring something. I had that "beaten into me" like saying please and thank you, holding the door for people, and offerring to help clear the table. A simple rule of etiquette I was raised with.
Most of the time, the hosts serve what I and others bring, and I consider it odd when someone chooses to put it away for later. They must be the ones raised like some of the posters here--that bringing something is an insult to the host, or a personal present for the host.
Weird. It's like we're raised on different planets.
I agree with the OP on bringing something when you are invited, just not on it being expected to be used that evening.
A gift does not have to be wrapped to be a gift. To me, that thinking is quite odd.
Personally, I'm a laid-back hostess. I most likely would serve your wine/pie/whatever. We only part company on it being insulting NOT to serve it, or on you having a right to drink that particular bottle.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
