Young African American Family relocating (Phoenix, Prescott: for sale, homes, buy)

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Breakingfree, I'm from DC too I have lived a 4 or 5 states (currently in Alaska) and Artliquide is right, some form of racism is everywhere.

I've been to Phoenix and had no problem.

Everything and place depends on who you run into and sometimes what you expect.
NO PLACE IS PERFECT.
But it can be good for you. It depends on lots of variables.

I will always ask folks what they think of a place but ultimately you have to decide. Go visit.

Very few places have as many Blacks as DC so sometimes you get a bit of a culture shock.
But Hey life is about change

Originally Posted by breakingfree

I'm shocked with what I'm reading. Some people are saying that Phoenix is diverse and welcoming, and others are saying it's racist towards Blacks---I don't know what to believe.

I'm Black and currently in DC, and am looking for a change of pace from DC. As many opportunities as there are here, it wears me out. I'm tired of dealing with men hanging out on street corners bothering me, the racial drama (vs. others and the same race), and the elitist "You are what job you have" mentality here. Doing my research, Phoenix seemed like the answer.

I don't want to come out to Phoenix just to deal with more of the same. I want to be accepted because of who I am as a person, not because of my race. Since there is such a divide in responses to race in Phoenix, I guess the only answer is taking a trip down there myself in the near future and coming to my own conclusion. To the OP, I'd advise you to do the same whenever you get the chance.

In response to the posters who want to be around a Black community, I agree with that (I especially want to make sure I can find a place that carries products for Natural Black hair care, for instance), but was never one who "needed" to be around other Blacks all the time. I welcome diversity. I'd get bored if everyone were like me.

[annibelle]

Sometimes you have to read the entire blog (but who has time) to understand a persons' comments. I originally responded to a black couples interest in moving here and added my experience. Once again, yes prejudice is everywhere. We all deal with it the best way we can. No, I did not move here to only live around black folks. My husband is white, my church is white and the community where we came from in Cali was predominantly white. What I try to express and explain on the board is that if you are relocating here, do the following: 1st be careful about where you move to and will specifically live. I learned from another blogger that Phoenix is a lot nicer than where I moved. So don't move any further south of Phoenix. It was a really helpful tip. I wish I had known prior to moving. If I want to go to a good music concert, get my hair done professionally or eat at a nice soul food place, I have to drive over 2-3 hours to Phoenix. 2nd, it is much more prejudiced here than where I lived in Cali. In Cali, no one had a problem with my biracial children or my white husband. Here, in AZ it's more of a problem. If you didn't have the stares before and now you do, you tend to notice. Also, while I can easily deal with prejudice because I am an adult, I do not like (and will never just get over it and move on as some have rather coldly suggested it) when my children are unfairly treated. They are too young for me to have to "explain things" to them. 3rd, if AZ is such a wonderful place for "everyone" why aren't there more blacks moving here in droves? Why do so many blacks move here, then leave? No one has answered that. Check the census. It may be a little off, but not much. The census always tells a story. We moved here because of the real estate market and jobs. If you are looking forward to looking the other way when it comes to ignorance, low home prices, nice winters then yes, AZ is the place for you. 4th, you'll survive if you visit family often. I visit Cali every year. I need the Cali love. If I didn't have kids and moved to Phoenix, I'd probably do better here. Everyone worries about their children's experiences.

[annibelle]

It's weird when white people say they don't see racism. Considering the color of your skin, wouldn't you say it's more than likely that you wouldn't see or notice it as often or as easily as a person of color? If white people are the majority, how often are they going to experience or notice something ugly going on? Strange. It's like your saying, well since you don't see it and it hasn't happened to you, then gee it must not exist. Or as many bloggers like to say, it's everywhere so that makes it normal and okay so just get over it. Fascinating. Anyway, I checked out another blog about other reasons not to move to AZ. I promise to stop mentioning me and my friends negative experiences on the blog since, according to many of you, since you've never seen "it" then prejudice must not exist here in AZ and something must be wrong with me (as one blogger put it). (1) very low performing schools, a good/ excellent school by AZ standards is low compared to the rest of the country. Fro example, my friend moved from another state and her child was ahead of what the top standards for the AZ school was. This happened to my son too. Even Cali schools where we came from were more advanced. It's so stifling hot in the summer and for so long, people leave. Those who remain stay indoors. Critters: if you get a house with acres most likely it may have lots of cactus, snakes, scorpions. If you have grass, keeping it green in the summer is a major feat. The winters are nice. Now, if you don't mind that, then move it AZ. Yes, yes I know. If I don't like it then why don't I move. We are.

[Artliquide]

Originally Posted by annibelle

It's weird when white people say they don't see racism. Considering the color of your skin, wouldn't you say it's more than likely that you wouldn't see or notice it as often or as easily as a person of color? If white people are the majority, how often are they going to experience or notice something ugly going on? Strange. It's like your saying, well since you don't see it and it hasn't happened to you, then gee it must not exist. Or as many bloggers like to say, it's everywhere so that makes it normal and okay so just get over it. Fascinating. Anyway, I checked out another blog about other reasons not to move to AZ. I promise to stop mentioning me and my friends negative experiences on the blog since, according to many of you, since you've never seen "it" then prejudice must not exist here in AZ and something must be wrong with me (as one blogger put it). (1) very low performing schools, a good/ excellent school by AZ standards is low compared to the rest of the country. Fro example, my friend moved from another state and her child was ahead of what the top standards for the AZ school was. This happened to my son too. Even Cali schools where we came from were more advanced. It's so stifling hot in the summer and for so long, people leave. Those who remain stay indoors. Critters: if you get a house with acres most likely it may have lots of cactus, snakes, scorpions. If you have grass, keeping it green in the summer is a major feat. The winters are nice. Now, if you don't mind that, then move it AZ. Yes, yes I know. If I don't like it then why don't I move. We are.

I don't know if this is directed at me or at all white people, but I don't recall ever saying that racism doesn't exist. In fact, I know that I said that it does exist everywhere, but I also said that from my experience (and maybe I'm just talking about my own attitude and the attitude of those around me), there are more welcoming people than there are racists, and that I believe that welcoming people are the norm, at least in Phoenix.

No need to assume I don't understand what racism is because I'm white, or because of what I've posted in this "blog" (this is actually a forum, not a blog, which is an online journal). I do know what racism is, even though I'm not black, and yes, I have seen it. But, I also see the positive in people, rather than look for racism where it may not actually exist.

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Ladies, Annibelle and Artliquide, time to cease hostilities

I think you may have to agree to disagree.
Or start another thread about the subject. Although I think it will end in the same way.

As you may have learned it is almost impossible to change anothers mind unless they wish to change.

Love, laughter, peace and blessings!
Goddess

[annibelle]

Originally Posted by Artliquide

I don't know if this is directed at me or at all white people, but I don't recall ever saying that racism doesn't exist. In fact, I know that I said that it does exist everywhere, but I also said that from my experience (and maybe I'm just talking about my own attitude and the attitude of those around me), there are more welcoming people than there are racists, and that I believe that welcoming people are the norm, at least in Phoenix.

No need to assume I don't understand what racism is because I'm white, or because of what I've posted in this "blog" (this is actually a forum, not a blog, which is an online journal). I do know what racism is, even though I'm not black, and yes, I have seen it. But, I also see the positive in people, rather than look for racism where it may not actually exist.

If what I said does not apply to you, then of course I am not directing it to you. Why try to defend what you say if something does not apply to you? There are so many different comments I try to respond to. If you check what I said, the comments refer to people who think that making a comment of yes, racism is everywhere is supposed to imply that folks should just get over it. That's a cold comment to make to someone. Also, you are very mistaken if you think that I am the kind of person who "looks" for racism. Racism came to my front door and I decided to share my experience. That's all. It seems that in doing that, people, like you tend to insinuate that people like me who are shocked by the negative experiences would somehow "look" for it. It's really sad. Once again, people will read the board and take notice. It's very simple. Why can't people just accept that everyone has different experiences in this life instead of trying to put people down for just stating what happened to them. My husband is white and he experiences negative, racial things too. I guess I just have a serious problem when people try to pretend things don't exist because it didn't happen to them. Once again, if this doesn't apply to you, then why comment, why even respond? And for the record some white and people of color have made comments saying they've never had any bad experiences so they just don't know what I'm talking about. It's great to stay positive, but it's not fair to say or imply that someone else is negative, looking for racism, should go back where they came from, etc. just because they had a different experience.

[cowboy45]

I am just shocked at this thread. Not one person said anything about the post regarding Mississippi.This man talked about how racist black people were in Mississippi. Not one person called him out about it. What does that say?
Blacks are only about 12% of the population. Whites are still the majority. A black man may be the next president. But whites are still trying to deny that racism exits. Sad sad sad.

[annibelle]

Originally Posted by cowboy45

I am just shocked at this thread. Not one person said anything about the post regarding Mississippi.This man talked about how racist black people were in Mississippi. Not one person called him out about it. What does that say?
Blacks are only about 12% of the population. Whites are still the majority. A black man may be the next president. But whites are still trying to deny that racism exits. Sad sad sad.

I remember the post, but did not want to deny his experience happened the way he saw it from his perspective. Maybe he felt scared, outnumbered. But, unlike some on the board I'm not going to blame him for the negative experience or tell him to get over it. I know, from being on this board, how that feels. People got downright snippity at the precious state AZ being describe by anyone as being not so welcoming to blacks. But why? How would they know? Each person has different experiences. Can they explain why, if it's so welcoming to all that more blacks don't come and stay here? No. All I did was say why I think they don't. It was a big shock coming from Cali. I repeat so much in order to answer comments like, "if your looking for a black neighborhood then you won't find that here in AZ." How nasty. All I was looking for was what most being look for. A nice community where living in a small town does not mean you have to be small minded. Being raised in an all black community, I'll admit that whenever some but not all white people came to our block, they'd get some suspicious and nasty stares. I know that if I went back to where I grew up with my white husband, he'd have a heck of a time feeling comfortable.

[annibelle]

Originally Posted by GoddessofRandomThoughts

Ladies, Annibelle and Artliquide, time to cease hostilities

I think you may have to agree to disagree.
Or start another thread about the subject. Although I think it will end in the same way.

As you may have learned it is almost impossible to change anothers mind unless they wish to change.

Love, laughter, peace and blessings!
Goddess

Thanks,

You really are a goddess, aren't you. I do need a little help though. I would be grateful for advice. What should I do when people make unfair comments about my personal experiences. I feel like they're trying to erase them, implying that I never had the experience. Just not used to that.

[Artliquide]

Originally Posted by annibelle

Thanks,

You really are a goddess, aren't you. I do need a little help though. I would be grateful for advice. What should I do when people make unfair comments about my personal experiences. I feel like they're trying to erase them, implying that I never had the experience. Just not used to that.

I don't think that anyone is trying to erase the existence of your experiences, myself included. I believe, way earlier, that I said that yours was a horrible situation. However, I will defend against the idea that all of Arizona is racist because you had a bad experience. That doesn't mean what happened to you didn't happen, but it means that I believe that there is at least as much love for all people here as there is hate. I just don't like being lumped into such an ugly group as a group of racists because I love to live in AZ and because I'm not black, especially because I personally love to be around a diverse group of people. I don't think it's fair to me or all the others like me who are not racist to be generalized as such.