You know it's a hot Arizona day when...
You take the temperature of your dashboard and it reads 215 degrees!
The life guard jumps in the pool even though nobody is drowning!
You only get 3 mpg due to the rate at which gas evaporates out of your tank.
Your a/c runs all day long just to keep it down to 90 degrees.
You'd pay $100 for 8 oz of water.
You have a car fire more than once every 10 miles
the tools in your trunk are hotter than your over-heating radiator
water turns to vapor before it comes out your garden hose
you can't remember your name
Lance Armstrong gets completely worn out after riding 2 miles!
your whole car melted
birds crash into stuff
nobody shows up for your yard sale
there's 5 gallons of sweat built up in the seat of your car
Everyone in the whole state is either in their air conditioned car, office or house, or in the pool!
every traffic accident is a hit-and-run, because nobody wants to get out of their car until they get to an air conditioned building.
hallucination!
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
your car starts sweating!
cops only chase you if you exceed 100mph, because that's when their A/C really kicks in
you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
you're not the only person in the emergency room with a steering wheel stuck to his fingers
Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
you died
Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.
You need a spatula to remove your clothing.
the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.
You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.
People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.
You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.
A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.
Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.
Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.
You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
when even the weeds are wilting
The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."
it's above 100 degrees at midnight!
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WOW.... this was funny?!?!?!?!
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