Ode to Arizona (Bullhead City: home, scorpions, living)

[kawgpz550]

just thought maybe everyone could use a little humor about Arizona. This definately fits the Bullhead City area...lol

Ode To Arizona

The Devil wanted a place on earth.
Sort of a summer home.
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Arizona.
A place both wretched and rough.
Here the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
and ordered no rain to fall:
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus, thistle and *****ly pear --
The climate suited them well.

Now, the home was much to his liking.
But animal life, he had none:
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake.
With its forked poisonous tongue:
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.

Then he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned Toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter.
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old Horned Toad looked ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom.
As any creator would:
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a *****ly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his wearthy brow.
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted
"I did my job too well.
I'm going back where I came from
Arizona is hotter than H e l l !"

[Steve-o]

I think Ive seen this before, but thanks for sharing anyways!

I still cant get over why people think that snakes have "poisonous tongues". That is their main sensory organ, it is NOT poisonous and it CANNOT kill people. Its the venom-injecting fangs you have to worry about. LOL Just making that clear. LOL

[Latitudes]

Originally Posted by Steve-o

I still cant get over why people think that snakes have "poisonous tongues". That is their main sensory organ, it is NOT poisonous and it CANNOT kill people. Its the venom-injecting fangs you have to worry about. LOL Just making that clear. LOL

Well...poetic license I guess. Also horned "toads" are anything but ugly. Quite remarkable little creatures, actually, with wonderful patterns and ornamentation.

Now if I can just figure out what the word "wearthy" is supposed to mean...

[Steve-o]

Originally Posted by Latitudes

Well...poetic license I guess. Also horned "toads" are anything but ugly. Quite remarkable little creatures, actually, with wonderful patterns and ornamentation.

Now if I can just figure out what the word "wearthy" is supposed to mean...

LOLOL I was trying to figure out that too. LOLOL

[monsoon74]

My grandfather (rest his soul) had similar feelings upon his first visit to Arizona.

He said that when God finished creating the heavens and the Earth, He took all the leftover rock and sand and scrubbrush, pushed it into a big pile, and called it Arizona.

[kawgpz550]

Originally Posted by monsoon74

My grandfather (rest his soul) had similar feelings upon his first visit to Arizona.

He said that when God finished creating the heavens and the Earth, He took all the leftover rock and sand and scrubbrush, pushed it into a big pile, and called it Arizona.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL I have heard a lot of things while living here, but I hadn't heard that one yet!

Here in Bullhead we also say, "of course we have 4 seasons, they are Fall, Spring, Summer and H E L L

[Steve-o]

Originally Posted by kawgpz550

LOLOLOLOLOLOL I have heard a lot of things while living here, but I hadn't heard that one yet!

Here in Bullhead we also say, "of course we have 4 seasons, they are Fall, Spring, Summer and H E L L

Arent the last two "seasons" you mention the same thing?

[kawgpz550]

Originally Posted by Steve-o

Arent the last two "seasons" you mention the same thing?

Not if you live in Arizona...they are two different seasons. Hot and HOTTEST!

[zonababe]

The two seasons are summer and not summer!

[Ponderosa]

Originally Posted by zonababe

The two seasons are summer and not summer!

The only "missing" season in my opinion is fall. It sort of drifts from summer to winter. Even the deciduous trees don't lose leaves until around Decemeber. But winter is unmistakeable as is spring and summer. Spring is easy because all the mesquites get new leaves, the Palo Verdes are draped in yellow, the orange trees (or what is left of them) are so fragrant, and in a wet year the hillsides are ablaze with with wildflowers People goof off at work more and want to be outside in the very warm sunshine. The snow birds leave, baseball begins and the birds build nests in the saguaros. It's my favorite season here. If you can't recognize it you just aren't paying attention.