bullying in the schools (high schools, college, authority)

[sassieb75]

Yes, charter schools are the only option in my opinion. They do not have to put up with what other schools do seem to. Yes, bullying has been aroubd since the beginning of time, however that doesn't make it right! To the ones that suggest this kid should be able to handle this himself....that's just real crap! Obviously if this kid is getting beat up, he ISNT able to handle it himself. What area of town is this school in? Our district has a zero tolerance for bullying and they enforce it to the best of their ability. But, I still put my kids in charter schools. They weren't bullied but I was apalled at the behavior of these kids, and the lack of parental involvement! It's real sad and scary! I wish I had more advice to the OP. Look into the charter schools....that's what I suggest!

[shadow91]

It is not my son, it is my friends son. She received a call from a teacher because of what these boys are doing to him. She is very concerned as she stated it has gone beyond bullying to harrassment. She is very fearful for him as is his mother. She did go to the superintendent. One year a student walked into the counselors office and stated he was coming back with a gun and going to kill some kids. He was arrested and the charges were dropped because the father said he would get him mental help, but the kid was allowed back into the school unbeknownst to the parents of the kids he threatened to kill. This is a very affluent school and money talks here. Moving for her is not an option as she is buying a home and who would buy it in this market? Why does everyone here seem to think that a child needs to learn to defend himself? This is high school kids we are talking about here, not grade school kids. I was just aking if anyone had been through this and what they did. So sorry to all of you.

[rich67]

Originally Posted by shadow91

Why does everyone here seem to think that a child needs to learn to defend himself? This is high school kids we are talking about here, not grade school kids. I was just aking if anyone had been through this and what they did. So sorry to all of you.

I went through the same thing. In both middle and high school. I learned to defend myself. I fought back and I turned out fine. I knew full well what grade you were talking about.
Don't take this next part the wrong way; I am not trying to belittle any situation nor am I personally attacking you or your friend's kid. Bottom line these days: we are raising a society of weak people. We are raising kids to to turn the other cheek and not solve their own problems. We are teaching them that they can mouth off to whoever they choose, and mommy and daddy will make it all better. We are teaching them that fighting is neanderthal, and that tattling on the bad kid is the only way to stop problems. We are teaching them that if things get too rough, the solution is to move away and hope that the problem doesn't exist somewhere else.
I raised two girls who are also prone to the same thing- and I always taught them to never start anything they couldn't finish on their own, and I never had to bail them out of anything. They are much different than boys; I give you that much. But the basic principles of social adjustment and tact never change.
There's a reason the kid is being harassed. He is either not confident in himself, and he presents himself as weak, or he is a smack talker and the parents refuse to acknowledge this. Think about it- they didn't just pick this kid out of 200-300 other kids in his class and decide he'd be the whipping boy. Something caused him to bring attention on himself. Either by the company he keeps, or the way he runs his yap. Me, personally, I got picked on because I had big ears and I ran my yap. Someone would ridicule me, I would call them a name, and it'd be on. Before I learned to fight, I took a beating, got stitches and had my teeth knocked in. After I defended myself and got confidence, I laughed a lot of the jokes off. If I decided I could win the fight, I'd open my mouth back and it'd be on....and I pretty much messed those kids up. Word got around, and people stopped picking on me. In fact, some of the kids I had issues with came up to me and gave me respect.
Some of this may be tough to swallow for pacifist-type people. But I am sorry, there is no way to sugar coat bullying or social adjustment issues. The kid and his parents need to grow a pair, deal with the issue by helping their kid be stronger and more confident. His confidence will continue to drop each time the attacks occur. And when mom and dad have to intervene, and coddle him, it'll drop even more. These are the kids that end up bringing guns and weapons to school. Have you seen a school shooting done by the jocks or bullies in the school? No. They are usually kids who are picked on and have no other alternative but to go extreme and think that killing is the only way- because they were not taught to adjust and be mentally strong.
If this isn't your friend's cup of tea, then have her pull the kid out and home school him. Obviously he will fall prey to bullies in another school. I'd put my money on it.

[amatrine]

I got picked on because I had a horrible last name,lol Even in high school,
I was pounded by an entire group of people.

By my senior year, there was no more problems, I think people started to grow up. I know back then I took things to personally though, so that was the main problem. My daughter now has that problem and gets picked up.
I try to teach her lighten up, laugh at herself, and if all fails , they hit you, you hit back.

She does not seem to mind though, she still loves school. If someone picks on her she finds someone else to play with.

[rich67]

OK...you have me curious...what's your last name? LOL

[saffordpastor]

When I was in Junior High I was picked on unmercifully....the teachers would watch and do nothing. Being a shy kid I didnt do anything about it.....until I could take it no more.

There were literally 4 groups of kids that were giving me problems. One kid (the instigater in one group) I grabbed and threw against the wall and that was the end of that. Another I confronted by the RR tracks on the way home from school. threw my books on the ground and challenged him to go at it....he backed down and never bothered me again. (sure glad he did, I was 5'8 and he was 6'4....I probably would have gotten my tail whooped) and still another I told him to meet me behind the bandstand after school and settle it....I showed up, he didn't and that ended that.

The last group was the worst and the meanest...and they tormented me unmercifully...until the day my dad walked into our wimp of a principals office, leaned over the desk, looked him in the eye, and told him..."you either do something about this situation or I am going to teach my son how to hurt these kids"....never had another problem.

Found out several things there....most bullys are cowards, you CAN defend yourself, and the school administration will do something about problems if given the proper motivation.

[jaada]

Originally Posted by shadow91

Does anyone know about what can be done legally when a child is being bullied beyond the point that it is now harrassment? I know a woman whose 16 year old son has been bullied since entering high school. He has been beat up several times. This woman has been to the school principal, superintendent, resource officer, has called police and no one will do anything. A teacher called her and told her what her worst fears were. She told me she felt a sense of relief as someone finally was seeing what was happening to her child. But the social worker and school psychologist seem to think that her child needs counseling to deal with what has been happening to him. Even with documented proof of threats left on his myspace the school still refuses to do anything to this group of bullies. She has looked all over for an attorney specialzing in this but can't find one. They jump him in the school bathrooms, pull their pants down in class and stick their butts in his face and tell him to kiss this you fing *****. I feel so bad for the both of them and wonder if anyone has been through this and how they dealt with it.

personally i think the parents are at fault for not protecting thier child, i mean come on now if no one will do anything its time to pull him out of school before he ends up dead. for real, if it were me i would have been to the parents of these bullies house having them arrested and then getting a restraining order on the little freaks who did this. then i would have pulled him out of school staying there he is not learning anything he has too much anxiety and fear and its not fair. they can put him in a private school ,homeschool him or in a different school. i get so angry when i hear stories like this because we need to protect our children and if it means pulling him out of school then so be it there are other options. i pulled my kids out because the i feel the school system especially in az isnt worth a darn. i homeschooled them and my oldest is a firefighter so i didnt do too bad.

[jaada]

Originally Posted by rich67

I went through the same thing. In both middle and high school. I learned to defend myself. I fought back and I turned out fine. I knew full well what grade you were talking about.
Don't take this next part the wrong way; I am not trying to belittle any situation nor am I personally attacking you or your friend's kid. Bottom line these days: we are raising a society of weak people. We are raising kids to to turn the other cheek and not solve their own problems. We are teaching them that they can mouth off to whoever they choose, and mommy and daddy will make it all better. We are teaching them that fighting is neanderthal, and that tattling on the bad kid is the only way to stop problems. We are teaching them that if things get too rough, the solution is to move away and hope that the problem doesn't exist somewhere else.
I raised two girls who are also prone to the same thing- and I always taught them to never start anything they couldn't finish on their own, and I never had to bail them out of anything. They are much different than boys; I give you that much. But the basic principles of social adjustment and tact never change.
There's a reason the kid is being harassed. He is either not confident in himself, and he presents himself as weak, or he is a smack talker and the parents refuse to acknowledge this. Think about it- they didn't just pick this kid out of 200-300 other kids in his class and decide he'd be the whipping boy. Something caused him to bring attention on himself. Either by the company he keeps, or the way he runs his yap. Me, personally, I got picked on because I had big ears and I ran my yap. Someone would ridicule me, I would call them a name, and it'd be on. Before I learned to fight, I took a beating, got stitches and had my teeth knocked in. After I defended myself and got confidence, I laughed a lot of the jokes off. If I decided I could win the fight, I'd open my mouth back and it'd be on....and I pretty much messed those kids up. Word got around, and people stopped picking on me. In fact, some of the kids I had issues with came up to me and gave me respect.
Some of this may be tough to swallow for pacifist-type people. But I am sorry, there is no way to sugar coat bullying or social adjustment issues. The kid and his parents need to grow a pair, deal with the issue by helping their kid be stronger and more confident. His confidence will continue to drop each time the attacks occur. And when mom and dad have to intervene, and coddle him, it'll drop even more. These are the kids that end up bringing guns and weapons to school. Have you seen a school shooting done by the jocks or bullies in the school? No. They are usually kids who are picked on and have no other alternative but to go extreme and think that killing is the only way- because they were not taught to adjust and be mentally strong.
If this isn't your friend's cup of tea, then have her pull the kid out and home school him. Obviously he will fall prey to bullies in another school. I'd put my money on it.

i agree with what you are saying but a child should not have to fight in school they are there to learn, and say for example he learned to fight and stand up for himself, and started fighting these idiots, things could get out of control and the bullies just might pull a knife on him or come to school with a gun. standing up for yourself i agree with but now a days fighting back is not a safe answer imo. also not all kids are fighters, they dont want to be fighting.

[rich67]

Originally Posted by jaada

i agree with what you are saying but a child should not have to fight in school they are there to learn, and say for example he learned to fight and stand up for himself, and started fighting these idiots, things could get out of control and the bullies just might pull a knife on him or come to school with a gun. standing up for yourself i agree with but now a days fighting back is not a safe answer imo. also not all kids are fighters, they dont want to be fighting.

Excuses, excuses. "What if" games can be played all day. Live in fear, and you will be weak all your life. I'm not being a chauvinist here, but women really don't understand what a man or a boy goes through and what a tender ego they can have at high school ages after being bullied. I am assuming you're a female; based on your username. I bet if you conducted a poll on this topic, 96% of males would agree to fight fire with fire, and the same percentage of women would probably say to pull the kid out of school and avoid confrontation at all costs. Nowadays is no different from 10 years ago. That's a poor argument. As I stated before in my other post, it's not the bullies who have the mentality to bring guns/knives to school- unless of course they are gang members. It's the WEAKER kids, the ones who are relentlessly picked on, who choose to bring guns. Also, from MSNBC: Myth No. 10. “School violence is rampant.”It may seem so, with media attention focused on a spate of school shootings. In fact, school shootings are extremely rare. Even including the more common violence that is gang-related or dispute-related, only 12 to 20 homicides a year occur in the 100,000 schools in the U.S. In general, school assaults and other violence have dropped by nearly half in the past decade.
Excuses need to stop, as does the running away. Confront your fears and problems, and a stronger person you will be.

[jaada]

Originally Posted by rich67

Excuses, excuses. "What if" games can be played all day. Live in fear, and you will be weak all your life. I'm not being a chauvinist here, but women really don't understand what a man or a boy goes through and what a tender ego they can have at high school ages after being bullied. I am assuming you're a female; based on your username. I bet if you conducted a poll on this topic, 96% of males would agree to fight fire with fire, and the same percentage of women would probably say to pull the kid out of school and avoid confrontation at all costs. Nowadays is no different from 10 years ago. That's a poor argument. As I stated before in my other post, it's not the bullies who have the mentality to bring guns/knives to school- unless of course they are gang members. It's the WEAKER kids, the ones who are relentlessly picked on, who choose to bring guns. Also, from MSNBC: Myth No. 10. “School violence is rampant.”It may seem so, with media attention focused on a spate of school shootings. In fact, school shootings are extremely rare. Even including the more common violence that is gang-related or dispute-related, only 12 to 20 homicides a year occur in the 100,000 schools in the U.S. In general, school assaults and other violence have dropped by nearly half in the past decade.
Excuses need to stop, as does the running away. Confront your fears and problems, and a stronger person you will be.

no i am not giving excuses i am being real. todays world is not the world you or i grew up in. yeah im a female and i would fight it out but not everyone is like that, and yes school violence is worse than it was when i was in school you didnt hear of this crap when i was going to school, there wasnt metal detectors in my school and now there is.