Need input on moving (Salem, Washington: real estate, vacation, jobs)

[my2angels]

I am planning on moving to Salem, Arkansas in mid August. My husband doesn't want to move. He has lived in Washington all of his life and we are doing fine here. My family moved to Salem, AR a few years ago and they all love it there. I really want to move my family down there. My husband says that he will move but he doesn't want to. What should I do? Please help.

Thanks

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by my2angels

I am planning on moving to Salem, Arkansas in mid August. My husband doesn't want to move. He has lived in Washington all of his life and we are doing fine here. My family moved to Salem, AR a few years ago and they all love it there. I really want to move my family down there. My husband says that he will move but he doesn't want to. What should I do? Please help.

Thanks

depends on where you plan to work in Salem, commute? I dont think there are that many jobs close by.

[magrack]

Originally Posted by my2angels

I am planning on moving to Salem, Arkansas in mid August. My husband doesn't want to move. He has lived in Washington all of his life and we are doing fine here. My family moved to Salem, AR a few years ago and they all love it there. I really want to move my family down there. My husband says that he will move but he doesn't want to. What should I do? Please help.

Thanks

Sounds like y'all have to work a major difference of opinion.

If he doesn't want to move here, he's not going to be happy.

If he's a native Washingtonian (I'm assuming you mean the state) and has never lived anywhere else, I'm not so sure the adjustment would be easy and I believe it would be darn near impossible to enjoy it here without a completely positive attitude about the move.

OTH, I suspect you won't be happy unless you're closer to family.

Heck of a fix.

All that being said, if you're doing fine where you are, what's wrong with extended visits/vacations until he gets used to the idea of a possible move?

If y'all are from the dry side of the state, AR would not be as much an adjustment (except AR is a lot prettier) as coming from the greater Puget Sound area (except AR is a lot prettier).

In any event, I suspect the lifestyle adjustment is going to be a challenge.

I lived in Western WA for almost three decades and I'm pretty sure some people couldn't make the adjustment from there to here and I'm just as sure some Arkansans couldn't make the adjustment from here to there.

After all that , getting back to your original post:

What should I do? Please help.

You and your husband need to get on the same page, and how you get there is up to both of you and not a bunch of anonymous posters on an internet forum.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by magrack

Sounds like y'all have to work a major difference of opinion.

If he doesn't want to move here, he's not going to be happy.

If he's a native Washingtonian (I'm assuming you mean the state) and has never lived anywhere else, I'm not so sure the adjustment would be easy and I believe it would be darn near impossible to enjoy it here without a completely positive attitude about the move.

OTH, I suspect you won't be happy unless you're closer to family.

Heck of a fix.

All that being said, if you're doing fine where you are, what's wrong with extended visits/vacations until he gets used to the idea of a possible move?

If y'all are from the dry side of the state, AR would not be as much an adjustment (except AR is a lot prettier) as coming from the greater Puget Sound area (except AR is a lot prettier).

In any event, I suspect the lifestyle adjustment is going to be a challenge.

I lived in Western WA for almost three decades and I'm pretty sure some people couldn't make the adjustment from there to here and I'm just as sure some Arkansans couldn't make the adjustment from here to there.

After all that , getting back to your original post:

You and your husband need to get on the same page, and how you get there is up to both of you and not a bunch of anonymous posters on an internet forum.

Gr3eat points: I wouldn't think of moving my husband, nor would he think of asking me to re-locate to an area I felt uncomfortable in, unless there was a job transfer or a strong personal reason to do so.

Yes, visit the area as often as possible, let him see the good and the bad, maybe eventually he will become more accepting. Have you considered someplace that would be closer to your family and yet, would not be in AR?

We all want to be close to our families (at least most of us) but what about his family? Where are they? I believe the most important thing is being with you now family, your husband and children.

Nita

[Sam I Am]

Magrack, I can't rep you until I spread the love...sigh...

OP -

Until you and hubby are on the same page, just visit. As one who made an ill-fated move to the Caribbean, I wish we had made many, many trips there before committing ourselves to a total lifestyle change - I can almost assure you that although it was a great place to visit, I would have never chosen in the long run to move there if we'd slowed down. If my husband had been opposed, it wouldn't have happened at all.

I do understand missing your family.....but I will agree with Mag and Nita - hang in there where you are - your money is most wisely spent at this point taking good vacations and really getting to know the area...if you're close to family but one of you is miserable where you are, you'll be headed back from whence you came before you know it. Besides, it's more fun to see family on vacations - everyone is on their best behavior!

[junkman18]

Hi, I understand you wanting to be near your family.... Have you and your husband looked at Real Estate websites for homes in the area? Does you husband see any that he likes?

I think the suggestions of coming here for a visit and looking around the area is the best advise.... Hang in there... and Good luck to yu.

[nmnita]

Another question: what about jobs for both of you? Are you in fields where it is easy to find employment?

Nita

[my2angels]

Okay now you all are making me feel bad. It's not the lifestyle or the area that he doesn't like it is the move/getting a new job. He and I both have the same jobs that we had in High School. A year ago we both said that it would be nice to move to Arkansas. And then when things got a little more serious we both backed down. This year I think that we just need to move and experience change/adventure our kids are both young still that making friends is easy.

Actually on this last Sunday we decided to move. We will be leaving on August 13th.

I am planning on going to School or work in pharmacy and he will probably do construction or something similar.

[Sam I Am]

Ah.....so he is RESISTANT to change...well congratulations, you married a man! Sorry, I didn't get that...it's so hard to make this work on the blue screen sometimes!

Wishing you the best!

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by my2angels

Okay now you all are making me feel bad. It's not the lifestyle or the area that he doesn't like it is the move/getting a new job. He and I both have the same jobs that we had in High School. A year ago we both said that it would be nice to move to Arkansas. And then when things got a little more serious we both backed down. This year I think that we just need to move and experience change/adventure our kids are both young still that making friends is easy.

Actually on this last Sunday we decided to move. We will be leaving on August 13th.

I am planning on going to School or work in pharmacy and he will probably do construction or something similar.

Don't feel bad, if his reasoning is just not certain of what to expect or not accustome to change hopefully everything will work for you. good luck, I am sure you will both be able to find something in the way of jobs, for you, going back to school even part time sounds like a great thing. I get the impression you both may be pretty young, if so, go for a change. You can always re-locate again if things don't work out. Good luck and keep us posted.

Nita