U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Arkansas
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 06-03-2017, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Oregon Coast
914 posts, read 242,813 times
Reputation: 1142

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by vhenderson View Post
I am desperate and serious. I have been locked(my choice to keep him away) in a room for 9 days, I have no access to money! I found a camper to move into with my three dogs. I need help moving my furniture into storage. I need to move ASAP to get away from my abusive husband. I cant go to a shelter and leave my dogs, he could harm them. He took my house key so if I leave, I leave what little I have left. I have been emotionally and financially abused by a totally controlling man and I am ready to leave and not look back but I really need help in Conway Arkansas!!!! He is so concerned with how he looks to everyone else that he will not be a danger and I will not take anything that he would object to. I am begging for help to get away and I cant pay for anything. I have called the hotlines and there is no help that way, only a shelter bed in another county.
A shelter bed in another county sounds like a really good idea. You should find somebody to take care of your dogs. Because at this point it sounds like you can't take care of yourself, let alone your pets. Get to the shelter as soon as possible and start rebuilding your life. Just give the dogs to somebody else, pack what you can take to the shelter, and go. Since you say, you have no access to money, I don't think you have any other options.

 
Old 06-03-2017, 06:30 PM
 
3,616 posts, read 1,973,425 times
Reputation: 11466
Call 911. The moment a woman is going to leave is the time when she is in the most danger. Tell them what you have told us.


Have courage to do what is necessary. It will not improve at this point.
 
Old 06-03-2017, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Ozark Mountains Arkansas
1,231 posts, read 689,704 times
Reputation: 2673
She said she has a place to move into with her dogs, but she is asking for help to get her things to a storage.
 
Old 06-03-2017, 09:18 PM
 
2,886 posts, read 1,643,972 times
Reputation: 10475
Assuming this is genuine...

Since you have no money, no friends, no family, you have no choices. Go back to him.

All you've mentioned so far is "emotional and financial abuse" but even if he was hitting you at times I would recommend you reconcile for now.

Go back. Be sweet, kind and conciliatory. Then make a plan to get out and scrape up enough money to do it.

I spent the last three years with my first (violent) husband doing just that. I bided my time and left when I had enough money to get shut of him. It wasn't easy because he wouldn't let me work and only gave me enough money for a little food. But I did it.

Never leave again without a PLAN.

Last edited by fluffythewondercat; 06-03-2017 at 10:09 PM..
 
Old 06-04-2017, 01:09 AM
 
15 posts, read 7,621 times
Reputation: 40
The negative feedback was hurtful, but I know you don't understand if you have never been there, I get that. Someone recognized enough of what I said to drop off boxes so I can pack, THANK YOU. Its a beginning and I can actually DO something. My family and friends did not warn me, they saw who he is in public. He's good looking, well spoken and financially comfortable with his military retirement. He is also a well respected man. That is who I married. I have learned terms I have never heard before like narcissistic and sociopath and gaslight in a relationship during my time locked in this room. I have been hit, if that makes a difference, he plead guilty to assault. Yes, it is very real and I am one of millions who have been in my spot. I have told myself the same things he has told me for so many years. I am a stupid, useless idiot. I am every curse word you can think of. I deserve to be treated this way. I have to deal with those feelings for a while. As for leaving my dogs, they have been the only affection I have had in years and to suggest I give them away is like saying I should give my children away! Then he would have taken everything from me. I don't know how this is going to end for me, but I do know that men like this get away with it because it is a "family matter" and no one wants to get involved or worse, no one believes it. I know that once I am gone, I have the highest rate of being killed in the first year. I am ready to say enough, try to get help and STAY AWAY! I may never trust a man again, but this is my problem.

Thank you for the encouraging words from those who gave it. I need prayers for a miracle and strength. I sure hope someone is there for the next woman he cons into a relationship, its awful to deal with alone.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 01:22 AM
 
1,271 posts, read 367,802 times
Reputation: 1769
You should try to get a domestic violence organization to put you up in a pet friendly hotel for a few days and then maybe they can assist you with the first month of an apartment. Then go file for divorce so you can get a temporary financial support order.
At the very least, call a divorce lawyer Monday morning and file. You may have to stay in the house so you don't lose your claim to it.
I'm sure it sucks but just try to get to Monday and the lawyer can file asap. Or if you have joint accounts, go drain them and leave town with the dogs.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 04:09 AM
 
Location: Oregon Coast
914 posts, read 242,813 times
Reputation: 1142
Quote:
Originally Posted by vhenderson View Post
The negative feedback was hurtful, but I know you don't understand if you have never been there, I get that. Someone recognized enough of what I said to drop off boxes so I can pack, THANK YOU. Its a beginning and I can actually DO something. My family and friends did not warn me, they saw who he is in public. He's good looking, well spoken and financially comfortable with his military retirement. He is also a well respected man. That is who I married. I have learned terms I have never heard before like narcissistic and sociopath and gaslight in a relationship during my time locked in this room. I have been hit, if that makes a difference, he plead guilty to assault. Yes, it is very real and I am one of millions who have been in my spot. I have told myself the same things he has told me for so many years. I am a stupid, useless idiot. I am every curse word you can think of. I deserve to be treated this way. I have to deal with those feelings for a while. As for leaving my dogs, they have been the only affection I have had in years and to suggest I give them away is like saying I should give my children away! Then he would have taken everything from me. I don't know how this is going to end for me, but I do know that men like this get away with it because it is a "family matter" and no one wants to get involved or worse, no one believes it. I know that once I am gone, I have the highest rate of being killed in the first year. I am ready to say enough, try to get help and STAY AWAY! I may never trust a man again, but this is my problem.

Thank you for the encouraging words from those who gave it. I need prayers for a miracle and strength. I sure hope someone is there for the next woman he cons into a relationship, its awful to deal with alone.
Well it sounds like you have two immediate choices. 1. Stay with him, in the current situation, or 2. Leave him and go to the shelter with whatever you can take.

I'm trying to think of other options for you, but I can't think of any. If you had some money you could hire some movers to come and pick up all your stuff, and take it to a storage unit, while he is at work. But that would be very expensive, and you said you don't have access to money. So I just don't know what else you can do.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 04:50 AM
 
Location: United States of America
1,781 posts, read 2,138,010 times
Reputation: 3253
Quote:
Originally Posted by vhenderson View Post
"I cant go to a shelter and leave my dogs, he could harm them."...."He is so concerned with how he looks to everyone else that he will not be a danger."

Is he a danger, or not. Here's my advice. Get off of this forum now and call 911 or a domestic violence hotline. Or a friend or neighbor. Spending time on here isn't going to get you anywhere. If this is for real and I have some doubts, you will follow the advice that I and so many others have suggested. Good luck.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
63,189 posts, read 69,444,426 times
Reputation: 31801
OP,

if you haven't already you need to take this into your own hands: call 911: go to a shelter: go with friends and forget about your belongings right now but whatever no one here can help you one bit. Take action and do it quickly or accept you will be stuck for God only knows how long.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Here, not there. Or in the stacks.
134 posts, read 73,040 times
Reputation: 244
OP, you say you have a camper you can live in, take the dogs, pack up the small things that mean the most and GO. NOW. I know it sucks to lose other things but they are things and the most important thing is for you to be safe, the dogs to be safe and to get out of there. You can rebuild the rest.

To those comments blaming abused women, I don't even have words for how sad and pathetic that is. I doubt anything I could write here would change someone's opinion, but maybe spend some time at a shelter and find out some facts, if you aren't afraid of the truth. But that might be uncomfortable, seeing the ugly side of life, so much easier to sit at home and blame someone and feel smug. Smh.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2013 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $99,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Arkansas
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top