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Old 06-04-2017, 08:52 AM
 
15,509 posts, read 16,749,324 times
Reputation: 29580

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Quote:
Originally Posted by vhenderson View Post
I am desperate and serious. I have been locked(my choice to keep him away) in a room for 9 days, I have no access to money! I found a camper to move into with my three dogs. I need help moving my furniture into storage. I need to move ASAP to get away from my abusive husband. I cant go to a shelter and leave my dogs, he could harm them. He took my house key so if I leave, I leave what little I have left. I have been emotionally and financially abused by a totally controlling man and I am ready to leave and not look back but I really need help in Conway Arkansas!!!! He is so concerned with how he looks to everyone else that he will not be a danger and I will not take anything that he would object to. I am begging for help to get away and I cant pay for anything. I have called the hotlines and there is no help that way, only a shelter bed in another county.
Locked yourself in a room for 9 days? How are you eating? Is there a bathroom?

And he doesn't try and get in the room, break the door down?

On here asking for money? Hmmmm...

If you called a hotline and told them you were locked in a room in fear of your life the police would at your house.

 
Old 06-04-2017, 08:54 AM
 
2,886 posts, read 1,643,972 times
Reputation: 10475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat5e View Post
To those comments blaming abused women, I don't even have words for how sad and pathetic that is. I doubt anything I could write here would change someone's opinion, but maybe spend some time at a shelter and find out some facts, if you aren't afraid of the truth. But that might be uncomfortable, seeing the ugly side of life, so much easier to sit at home and blame someone and feel smug. Smh.
I was abused by my husband but I don't blame the people who doubt it or say I should have known better.

I've learned over the years that it's impossible for people to comprehend things that haven't happened to them personally. That doesn't make them bad people. My husband didn't start hitting me until after we were married. I still don't know why.

I will say that I believe no woman should trust blindly and allow herself to get into the situation I did: No money, no local friends, no family to help out, nowhere to go. Every woman should have money of her own in a safe place. And the same goes for men, who are sometimes abused as well.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Here, not there. Or in the stacks.
134 posts, read 73,040 times
Reputation: 244
Not understanding something is not someone's fault, however, casting judgment on someone without knowing facts is rude. There are too many stereotypes and it helps perpetuate abuse by making many women ashamed to ask for help. As you know it is rarely that simple, most abusive relationships don't start that way. Glad you are safe now.

Last edited by Cat5e; 06-04-2017 at 09:27 AM..
 
Old 06-04-2017, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Booth Texas
7,991 posts, read 2,225,873 times
Reputation: 786
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita View Post
OP,

but whatever no one here can help you one bit.


That's not true.


She might just find the love of her life on here, you never know where help is going to come from. You could walk down a street in rural street in Texas with a suit case in your hand and people will bring you into their houses. I might even could help, but those dogs would be the problem just like it would be to bring to a shelter.


I think she does good by asking for help, and you never know, God might put it on somebody's heart to send her a ticket some place, I have seen all kinds of things come to those who ask. Never know what might come of this thread.
 
Old 06-04-2017, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
63,189 posts, read 69,444,426 times
Reputation: 31801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannibal Flavius View Post
That's not true.


She might just find the love of her life on here, you never know where help is going to come from. You could walk down a street in rural street in Texas with a suit case in your hand and people will bring you into their houses. I might even could help, but those dogs would be the problem just like it would be to bring to a shelter.


I think she does good by asking for help, and you never know, God might put it on somebody's heart to send her a ticket some place, I have seen all kinds of things come to those who ask. Never know what might come of this thread.
sorry, but I don't see it that way one bit except her chance to vent which might help her a little. Everyone has given her options, there isn't much else to say. She has absolutely no money, her husband has apparently verbally abused her and she says the cops won't do anything for her. She would be nuts to trust someone she met on line like here to give her advise or even offer any personal help. All the advise that can be given has been. Do you really think someone is going to offer her money or give her a ticket to someplace when she can't part with her 3 dogs? I doubt it, in fact I can probably say 100% it won't happen.

this is not the same as walking down a street in a rural town or anywhere else with a suitcase. Nor is it like the person standing around the gas pump at our local gas station without enough money to buy gas. that is totaally different.
 
Old 06-05-2017, 07:41 AM
 
36,350 posts, read 19,914,995 times
Reputation: 10932
To the OP:

Part of being abused is convincing you that you have no options. But, in fact, you do. You say you already contacted 911, but they couldn't provide you with the help you needed. If you contact a domestic abuse hotline and tell them what you need, someone may be able to help you or direct you to where you can get that help. Assistance in moving isn't usually an emergency need, because in domestic abuse cases the emergency is to get out and get out immediately. But someone may be willing to help. You can also contact an attorney who may be able to help. Since you are seeking a legal separation in effect, with a divorce in the picture, an attorney can advise you on how to protect yourself and your assets in this situation. Many attorneys have staff, and may lend you that staff in moving out. But I think you best option would be to contact a minister. Even though you haven't been attending church, it hasn't been by your choice. If you explained your situation to the minister, you very well might get the assistance you need.

Clearly, you do have options, and you also have the ability to reach out, as is shown by your joining this forum. You're not as powerless as you believe.
 
Old 06-05-2017, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Booth Texas
7,991 posts, read 2,225,873 times
Reputation: 786
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita View Post
sorry, but I don't see it that way one bit except her chance to vent which might help her a little. Everyone has given her options, there isn't much else to say. She has absolutely no money, her husband has apparently verbally abused her and she says the cops won't do anything for her. She would be nuts to trust someone she met on line like here to give her advise or even offer any personal help. All the advise that can be given has been. Do you really think someone is going to offer her money or give her a ticket to someplace when she can't part with her 3 dogs? I doubt it, in fact I can probably say 100% it won't happen.

this is not the same as walking down a street in a rural town or anywhere else with a suitcase. Nor is it like the person standing around the gas pump at our local gas station without enough money to buy gas. that is totaally different.

I met my last wife on the internet, and I must have dated 50 women on the internet. Of course, I wouldn't date anyone now, aint even looked at a woman in 15 years, and no plans to ever date again, but there is plenty hope on here. Might sound crazy to you, but people hook up all the time for different reasons after meeting on the internet.
 
Old 06-05-2017, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
63,189 posts, read 69,444,426 times
Reputation: 31801
Quote:
Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge View Post
To the OP:

Part of being abused is convincing you that you have no options. But, in fact, you do. You say you already contacted 911, but they couldn't provide you with the help you needed. If you contact a domestic abuse hotline and tell them what you need, someone may be able to help you or direct you to where you can get that help. Assistance in moving isn't usually an emergency need, because in domestic abuse cases the emergency is to get out and get out immediately. But someone may be willing to help. You can also contact an attorney who may be able to help. Since you are seeking a legal separation in effect, with a divorce in the picture, an attorney can advise you on how to protect yourself and your assets in this situation. Many attorneys have staff, and may lend you that staff in moving out. But I think you best option would be to contact a minister. Even though you haven't been attending church, it hasn't been by your choice. If you explained your situation to the minister, you very well might get the assistance you need.

Clearly, you do have options, and you also have the ability to reach out, as is shown by your joining this forum. You're not as powerless as you believe.
great response, I wonder if she was able to do anything about her situation yesterday. I notice she hasn't posted since 2am yesterday morning.
 
Old 06-05-2017, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
63,189 posts, read 69,444,426 times
Reputation: 31801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannibal Flavius View Post
I met my last wife on the internet, and I must have dated 50 women on the internet. Of course, I wouldn't date anyone now, aint even looked at a woman in 15 years, and no plans to ever date again, but there is plenty hope on here. Might sound crazy to you, but people hook up all the time for different reasons after meeting on the internet.
I am not talking about hooking up via the net. That is done all the time and seems to work quite well, I am talking about someone in the situation the OP says she is in. Coming here and asking for help isn't going to result in her finding her life partner and could lead to trouble.She needs to be dealing with professionals who know how to help her with her problems assuming everything she has said is true.
 
Old 06-05-2017, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Here, not there. Or in the stacks.
134 posts, read 73,040 times
Reputation: 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita View Post
great response, I wonder if she was able to do anything about her situation yesterday. I notice she hasn't posted since 2am yesterday morning.
I hope the OP found help, and I agree with the poster who said she isn't powerless and I hope she sees that.
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