[DC at the Ridge]

We moved to Arkansas from Massachusetts. We'd never been to Arkansas except for passing through on a road trip to visit my uncle at the Tinker AFB a couple of years before. My father had bought the house based on pictures the realtor mailed him. He has three brothers who helped him load the moving truck, and we'd driven down in 23 hours. My parents were dead-tired. Three little kids, one just shy of his first birthday, complete strangers in town. The neighbors all pitched in to help unload the truck. Martha, an elderly woman in a duplex across the street took us kids to her house, gave us milk and cookies and watched us while my parents got the house set up. Ruth, four doors down, took my mother to the grocery store and gave her a quick tour of the town so she'd know where the water, gas, electric, and cable companies were to set up the utilities the next few days. Marge, the next door neighbor, set her boys to barbecuing for a picnic in the backyard for everyone when the moving was completed. Her teenage daughter set herself to making the beds up for everyone, and unpacking the stuff for the bathrooms and the linen closets. It took us 23 hours to drive to Arkansas, but the moving van was unloaded, boxes unpacked, furniture all set up, dishes in the cupboards, beds ready to sleep in, packing materials broken down and carried to neighbor's houses for the trash pickup the next day since we weren't set up for trash pickup yet, and a neighborhood picnic were all organized in less than seven hours the next day. That's southern hospitality.

[weaverar]

I wonder if your experience is due to city vs rural area? Cities in NW AR are similar to cities in NH / ME. The big difference I have found is in the rural areas of the three states. I have lived in 6 different locations in AR (all but one rural), 6 different locations in ME (all rural), and 4 different locations in NH (all but one rural).
When a southerner feels that a southerners way of life or an aspect of their culture is being threatened they often display some of the reactions noted below. You are in the south and are expected to respect it even if you don't agree with it. (From one yank to another)

Originally Posted by northbound74

I think I know what you mean.

Arkansas doesn't have any such thing on a grand scale.
People are stand-offish at best. Often, they are down right rude and condescending. Too many folks there have a "I'm smarter and better than you" attitude. Not in an elitist Ivy-League way, rather a brash-redneck kind of way. In Little Rock, there's plenty of the yuppie arrogance going around. If you're a single male, the gold-diggers in that town are enough to make you want to join the monastery.

There are some very good people in Arkansas, though, but Southern Hospitality doesn't even remotely apply to that state as a whole. They just aren't very welcoming.



I haven't been to as many places as some, but I've been to 33 states and one Canadian province, and have lived in six states.
The absolute friendliest, most hospitable people I've ever come across were in Minnesota. Maine was a very close second.

There's nice people everywhere, and there's not-so-nice people everywhere. Why Arkansas has such a disproportionate amount of the not-so-nice ones, I may never know.

Yeah, yeah, if you don't like it leave. Don't worry, I did. I'll never go back.

[RogMar]

Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge

We moved to Arkansas from Massachusetts. We'd never been to Arkansas except for passing through on a road trip to visit my uncle at the Tinker AFB a couple of years before. My father had bought the house based on pictures the realtor mailed him. He has three brothers who helped him load the moving truck, and we'd driven down in 23 hours. My parents were dead-tired. Three little kids, one just shy of his first birthday, complete strangers in town. The neighbors all pitched in to help unload the truck. Martha, an elderly woman in a duplex across the street took us kids to her house, gave us milk and cookies and watched us while my parents got the house set up. Ruth, four doors down, took my mother to the grocery store and gave her a quick tour of the town so she'd know where the water, gas, electric, and cable companies were to set up the utilities the next few days. Marge, the next door neighbor, set her boys to barbecuing for a picnic in the backyard for everyone when the moving was completed. Her teenage daughter set herself to making the beds up for everyone, and unpacking the stuff for the bathrooms and the linen closets. It took us 23 hours to drive to Arkansas, but the moving van was unloaded, boxes unpacked, furniture all set up, dishes in the cupboards, beds ready to sleep in, packing materials broken down and carried to neighbor's houses for the trash pickup the next day since we weren't set up for trash pickup yet, and a neighborhood picnic were all organized in less than seven hours the next day. That's southern hospitality.

My experiences were the same as yours, DC.

I may have had a small advantage being from a southern family, but that doesn't really cut you much slack.

I thought I knew a lot of people here when we finally built our house, but I still recall the first week after moving in.

There was a constant stream of folks pulling up with assorted foods and baked goods and many, many offers of help, bring a tractor over for ya, if ya need this or that........

I've been through a lot of the urban and rural in this state, met some snobbish folk in Little Rock, but met some nice ones too.

I have a realtor friend that frequently uses that old line when asked how people are around these parts.

He asks, "What were they like where you came from?". If they didn't get along there, their probably not going to get along here.

[GetmeoutofAR]

my problem has always been with superficial niceness. A person can say howdy yall how are yall doin all day long, but if in the long run they really don't care then all of that was for not and fake. This is what I have noticed so much in Arkansas

[weaverar]

The oldest step daughter came for a visit to BV, AR. She was raised in NH, lives in LV, NV (18+ yrs). She brought a friend with her who is a LV native (yes there are a few). They were out checking out our area and when they came back to the house there was a discussion about people waving to them. The friend from LV at first thought that the oncoming vehicle occupants were giving them the one fingered salute! This goes to show how misunderstood southerners can be at times. Both if them were very uncomfortable with this familiarity.(Big city & New Englander - go figure)

Originally Posted by nmnita

in NWA everyone says hi, men still hold doors open for women, people say excuse me, if they run into you in the aisles or come close to running into you, kids know the word, thank you and we wave at our neighbors..If that isn't southern hospitality what do you call it???

Nita

[DC at the Ridge]

Originally Posted by RogMar

My experiences were the same as yours, DC.

I may have had a small advantage being from a southern family, but that doesn't really cut you much slack.

I thought I knew a lot of people here when we finally built our house, but I still recall the first week after moving in.

There was a constant stream of folks pulling up with assorted foods and baked goods and many, many offers of help, bring a tractor over for ya, if ya need this or that........

I've been through a lot of the urban and rural in this state, met some snobbish folk in Little Rock, but met some nice ones too.

I have a realtor friend that frequently uses that old line when asked how people are around these parts.

He asks, "What were they like where you came from?". If they didn't get along there, their probably not going to get along here.

Living in the country, people are much more willing to stop and lend a hand than when I lived in the city. I think people in the city assume you've got help on the way, or that the police will be coming along any moment. But ANYWHERE you live, look people in the eye, smile and offer a firm handshake, and people will likely return the same, and look out for you in the future. In my experience, Southern hospitality isn't about mint juleps on the veranda, or sweet tea in the backyard. It's about people watching out for other people, and offering to help when they see a need, but otherwise keeping your nose to yourself. It's not about the cordiality when you meet people in the store, but about noticing that someone's woodpile is getting a little low in January, and coming over with half a rick because you've got more than you need. It's about noticing that the elderly widow at the end of the street hasn't made it to church for a couple of weeks, and knocking on her door with that "extra" loaf of banana bread to make sure she's okay and to offer her a ride next Sunday. It's about getting someone else's mail, and not returning it to the post office, but walking over to someone's house to put it on their doorstep. It's about seeing that someone's dog has gotten loose, and taking the time to tie a rope around the collar and return the dog to it's owner. Southern hospitality isn't about fake smiles and false sympathies, it's about seeing a need and addressing it. Sometimes seeing that need is the result of gossip. But addressing the need, that's about a sense of community.

[northbound74]

Originally Posted by weaverar

I wonder if your experience is due to city vs rural area? Cities in NW AR are similar to cities in NH / ME. The big difference I have found is in the rural areas of the three states. I have lived in 6 different locations in AR (all but one rural), 6 different locations in ME (all rural), and 4 different locations in NH (all but one rural).
When a southerner feels that a southerners way of life or an aspect of their culture is being threatened they often display some of the reactions noted below. You are in the south and are expected to respect it even if you don't agree with it. (From one yank to another)

I was born in Arkansas. So far, a majority of my life was spent in Arkansas. I lived in rural areas, as well as Little Rock. I didn't try to change what I saw, I just wanted to be accepted. I wasn't.
I do believe rural areas tend to have more long-term natives living in them, therefore they tend to be more skeptical of outsiders. This is true in most places I've seen.

To put the words 'southern' and 'hospitality' together implies that only people in the south are hospitable. Nothing could be further from the truth.
All the little stories that people have are nice, but I can tell you from experience, that those things can and do happen in every corner of the country.

[northbound74]

Originally Posted by GetmeoutofAR

my problem has always been with superficial niceness. A person can say howdy yall how are yall doin all day long, but if in the long run they really don't care then all of that was for not and fake. This is what I have noticed so much in Arkansas

This has been my experience as well.

[GetmeoutofAR]

perhaps my experiences need to specified to NWA people in particular. The people i've known from other parts of the state tend to be nicer.

[weaverar]

When we left ME/NH in 1990 my husband and I had an ongoing project. Whenever we ere wout and about we made it a habit of saying hello to people in the street, at the groery store, at the gym, etc. Guess what? We could hardly get people to look at us. Of those that did, 90% of the time they would either give us a dirty look or look at us like we are crazy. Personally I don't want to live in an area where people won't look me in the eye and recognize that there is another human being in existence beside themselves. Got ourselves out of ME/NH! Don't experience that here in northern AR.

Originally Posted by GetmeoutofAR

my problem has always been with superficial niceness. A person can say howdy yall how are yall doin all day long, but if in the long run they really don't care then all of that was for not and fake. This is what I have noticed so much in Arkansas