[Stormcrow73]

Originally Posted by nmnita

Rog, are you talking about Bella Vista???

I'd wager he's talking about one of the "villages."

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Stormcrow73

I'd wager he's talking about one of the "villages."

and I bet you are right, that is what attracted us about here, didn't want to be behind gates with too many restrictions. We do have some but they are really enforced that much (within reason))) that is..

Nita

[vec101]

So any thoughts or coments on the questions I asked on Page 4 of this thread? It is a long one I wrote, so sorry.

[solibs]

This is funny.

I found "southern hospitality" to be, as was said, a set of mannerisms that's very much alive and well in SC but it's just the way people act. They don't really mean any of it. To most people from the northeast who catch on to that fact it comes across as phony and condescending.

I found New Englanders to be generally stand-offish. Much more so than folks from the Mid-Atlantic.

What a lot of southerners don't understand is that, in the south, you can approach strangers like you're best friends and it's not weird. Up here it comes across as very creepy. It's not right or wrong it's just different ettiquette.

In Philadelphia, for instance, it's acceptable to make small talk while waiting for the bus but not while waiting for the subway. If they don't want to talk they'll give short answers. back off. It's not cool to corner someone. It's ok to chat someone up while waiting in line at a store but not while shopping unless you have a reason to, like you're both going for the same shirt on the rack or something. I talk to strangers at bars all the time. Sometimes it's just small talk, sometimes it turns into a serious conversation. It's totally NOT OK to bother the people at the table next you in a restaurant. It's OK to stop someone on the street to ask for directions or for a restaurant recommendation but you have to engage someone from a reasonable distance first. You might make eye contact at 7 or 8 paces and at 5 or 6 say, "excuse me, could you tell me . . . ?" Short and to the point. If you want to engage in pleasantries it's perfectly acceptable to do it after you've gotten the information you needed.
I've definitely had tourists wait until they're right on top of me and then stop in my path (while smiling) before saying anything. The first thing that goes through my head is, "i'm not interested." As soon as I detect an accent I understand what's happening and i'm happy to oblige but, it's just not how we act here.

When you live in the rural south or even a medium sized town you don't run into a lot of total strangers and, when you do, chances are that you'll see them again. That's not the case here. There's no way i'm going to be close personal friends with 6 million people. I have no need or desire to talk to everyone I pass on the street. I would lose my voice just trying to say hello to all the people I pass on my way to work every morning.

I also feel like southerners are quick to use the word "rude." It's rude when someone bumps into you and doesn't apologize. It's rude when you ask someone for directions and they ignore you. It's not rude when someone answers your question and continues on their way without making small talk.

[GetmeoutofAR]

Originally Posted by solibs

This is funny.

I found "southern hospitality" to be, as was said, a set of mannerisms that's very much alive and well in SC but it's just the way people act. They don't really mean any of it. To most people from the northeast who catch on to that fact it comes across as phony and condescending.

I found New Englanders to be generally stand-offish. Much more so than folks from the Mid-Atlantic.

What a lot of southerners don't understand is that, in the south, you can approach strangers like you're best friends and it's not weird. Up here it comes across as very creepy. It's not right or wrong it's just different ettiquette.

In Philadelphia, for instance, it's acceptable to make small talk while waiting for the bus but not while waiting for the subway. If they don't want to talk they'll give short answers. back off. It's not cool to corner someone. It's ok to chat someone up while waiting in line at a store but not while shopping unless you have a reason to, like you're both going for the same shirt on the rack or something. I talk to strangers at bars all the time. Sometimes it's just small talk, sometimes it turns into a serious conversation. It's totally NOT OK to bother the people at the table next you in a restaurant. It's OK to stop someone on the street to ask for directions or for a restaurant recommendation but you have to engage someone from a reasonable distance first. You might make eye contact at 7 or 8 paces and at 5 or 6 say, "excuse me, could you tell me . . . ?" Short and to the point. If you want to engage in pleasantries it's perfectly acceptable to do it after you've gotten the information you needed.
I've definitely had tourists wait until they're right on top of me and then stop in my path (while smiling) before saying anything. The first thing that goes through my head is, "i'm not interested." As soon as I detect an accent I understand what's happening and i'm happy to oblige but, it's just not how we act here.

When you live in the rural south or even a medium sized town you don't run into a lot of total strangers and, when you do, chances are that you'll see them again. That's not the case here. There's no way i'm going to be close personal friends with 6 million people. I have no need or desire to talk to everyone I pass on the street. I would lose my voice just trying to say hello to all the people I pass on my way to work every morning.

I also feel like southerners are quick to use the word "rude." It's rude when someone bumps into you and doesn't apologize. It's rude when you ask someone for directions and they ignore you. It's not rude when someone answers your question and continues on their way without making small talk.

I could never had said it better myself!

[RogMar]

Originally Posted by vec101

Wow, this sounds just like questions/threads we get in West Virginia. WV may have seceded from the South during the Civil War but most people here consider themselves Southerners and live the Southern way.

A post in our forum by a Northerner made me curious to see if you were getting as much grief from people in "blue" states as we are (in WV) about voting for McCain. Poster mentioned Arkansas in his post (see below). Also, Poster indicated how wealthier, more intellectual states voted for Obama and there is a message to be found in this.

Poster stated: " There is a wide swath of states that went for McCain, starting with WV, and curving southward through Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas. With the exception of the latter, all these states are on a downward slide into the 21st century..."
Later asked " Was it because of race, an uninformed electorate, or some other reason"

Curiosity got the best of me. From what I found, your unemployment rate is 4.9%. The national average has been running about 6.0 and is now at 6.5. I know nothing more about your economy except you are doing better than the national average.

So, are you "downsliding into the 21st century" as the elitist poster has indicated or do you get unjustly slammed as we do?

It's at the point where we just laugh - people, many who have never stepped foot in our state, have this preconceived image that they know is the truth, they are experts on our state, and they get on our forum to let us know they are experts. They don't bother to discover that West Virginia's unemployment in Sept was 3.7, in October was 4.0. Of the 30 best markets to Find a Job, 2 of our cities are in the top 13, while the housing market has imploded ours has increased 7% and from May-Aug we were the fastest growing (economic increase) state in the nation. (We're like the Little Engine That Could - we chug along while the fast new ones pass us by.. but when they break they break hard and we just keep chugging along.) But you don't read that kind of thing in the papers, you only read that we have the fattest metro city (which isn't fair to WV because that metro city includes part of Ohio and Kentucky).

As to the elections, McCain's prose better met our needs than Obama's. I get so tired of "outsiders" pointing the finger and accusing us of anything else - they need to do their research rather than making any assumptions.

So has Arkansas also been told how wrong you are? It doesn't look like there have been many/any posts like we are getting.

PS. I was born and raised a Yankee but have converted - love the Southern ways and WV.

Since you asked again about this post, I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one seeing it.

Every state is going to have it's stone throwers.

Every forum is going to have posters that come in and want to throw barbs because, "You don't live like I think you should".

What is a great atmosphere is different to Nita, Bull, Stormcrow, Aporkalypse, and the other regs, than it is to me, and different from each other.

The common thread is that we all choose to live in the same state. Not *exist*, but live life.

I have been in just as beautiful an area in many other states. Heaven knows I love them evening views from the moutainsides in Tennessee, watching the bluish-tinted fog form in the hollers, illuminated by moonlight.

I loved sitting out on the back porch of a friend's cabin, in the Georgia swamps, listening to the critters affirming their place in the food chain.

If I were rich, instead of so darn good lookin' (), I would have many houses, in many states, and there's an excellent chance, mi amigo, that WV would be one of those.

However, I am not rich in the financial sense, in most all other senses, my cup *way* overfloweth, but I had to make a decision where to park my narrow backside where I would be the happiest, have minimum infliction on those elements of society that are not as enamored with me as my friends have convinced me they are, and respect the fact that my ancestors did not strive, live, and die for a nation that they envisioned as a self-governed utopia free of the federalists, in vain.

When I'm in the woods, as I am frequently, I sometimes need to take a break.

Tell ya a secret...........I ain't no spring chicken no more.

When I take a break, I choose a spot, and invariably say to the little lady, or dog, or both, "This is about as good as any other", and rest my weary bones on a log.

I've traveled a lot, as many, many others have on this forum. I have no misconceptions.

Arkansas is a darned fine log.

You'll see a lot of people come in and, arms crossed, foot tapping, won't hesitate to tell you this state is broke beyond repair, ain't never gonna be right, and we might as well nuke it and start over.

There's folks in every state doing that.

Don't bother me none.

You live in WV....which a lot of folks think are nothing but mutated appalaichians, right?

Hey..........!! Where did y'all get that com-pew-ter from?

Let 'em think it, most of us here feel like we've got a jewel, most all will share, but when folks start yelling, "I don't want that diamond, I want a *bigger* diamond......"

Well, don't let the door hit you in the backside, slick.

As far as this election thing, which shows how back-woods, racist, stupid we are, the question has been posed many times, "How can you explain why Kerry was so strong and then McCain took the lead?"

Well, folks I've talked with don't see black & white, they see defense. They want to know who's finger is on the button.

Kerry is a vet, McCain is a vet, and that carries a lot of weight down south, and so does, "Who's least likely to take my guns?"

Remember all those news reports on the run on guns after the election?

That wasn't because of Obama's ethnic background.

Yep, we take the same heat here you do in WV.

[sues1]

Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge

We moved to Arkansas from Massachusetts. We'd never been to Arkansas except for passing through on a road trip to visit my uncle at the Tinker AFB a couple of years before. My father had bought the house based on pictures the realtor mailed him. He has three brothers who helped him load the moving truck, and we'd driven down in 23 hours. My parents were dead-tired. Three little kids, one just shy of his first birthday, complete strangers in town. The neighbors all pitched in to help unload the truck. Martha, an elderly woman in a duplex across the street took us kids to her house, gave us milk and cookies and watched us while my parents got the house set up. Ruth, four doors down, took my mother to the grocery store and gave her a quick tour of the town so she'd know where the water, gas, electric, and cable companies were to set up the utilities the next few days. Marge, the next door neighbor, set her boys to barbecuing for a picnic in the backyard for everyone when the moving was completed. Her teenage daughter set herself to making the beds up for everyone, and unpacking the stuff for the bathrooms and the linen closets. It took us 23 hours to drive to Arkansas, but the moving van was unloaded, boxes unpacked, furniture all set up, dishes in the cupboards, beds ready to sleep in, packing materials broken down and carried to neighbor's houses for the trash pickup the next day since we weren't set up for trash pickup yet, and a neighborhood picnic were all organized in less than seven hours the next day. That's southern hospitality.

That is so cool, i'm a born and bred yankee. I lived in NYC until i was 13, then moved and grew up in Jersey, now i live in Pa, and honestly from my experiences here that doesn't happen much. People up here are not as friendly and some would step over you if you were lying in the street, i'm not saying they're all like that. I lived in NC when my ex was in the Army and i found the locals to be nothing but very friendly and would think nothing about having you into their homes for a big dinner. They were so sweet. I love it up here, it's my home, but i also adore country music, cowboys, i love the way southern men talk, i think they are alot more respectful than the men up here. I could easily adjust in the south.

[RogMar]

Originally Posted by nmnita

Rog, are you talking about Bella Vista???

Nope.

Yep, one of the "Villages".

Just about as complete a wall around their world as they can get.

It is totally possible, to live in Arkansas, socialize in Arkansas, shop in Arkansas, and never hear a southern accent.

One forms a club, with a state name, and people from that state join, and there's your social circle and friends.

A town directory, like a phone book, lists your name and address, and proudly lists which state you're from, so you can figure out if you really want to talk to that couple two houses down.

Then, eventually, you get it wrapped so tight that folks that came to Arkansas for the beauty, the freedom, the weather, the openness, find that it's now exactly the same as that which they ran away from.

My wife is a copperhead.

A copperhead, in this sense, is a term that was used during the War of Northern Aggression, to describe a person that is actually a yankee, but has come to be a southern sympathizer.

They weren't too popular in the north, ya understand.

Soon after I inflicted myself on her, many years ago, she saw the error of her ways and took my hand in wedded bliss and travelled to the south, frequently, with me, and embraced everything she saw.

She made one mistake, and that wasn't until we moved here.

We were coming home, on the dirt road off the dirt road, and she saw a rather.......scary....looking house.

Now for any of y'all that haven't done the back roads, that means there's appliances laying around, couple of dead pickups, some farm implements of various descript, and wood smoke curling from what most folks would call a "shack".

She stares, and says, "I don't care if I ever meet those folks", and looks at me.

I grinned and shook my head.

She says......."What??"

"Nothin', darlin", shaking my head slowly.

Woman in that shack taught her to quilt, brought her herbs when she was sick, gave her some great cooking lessons, told her many stories of "yesteryear".............

My wife, who has always been heralded as the queen of "crafters", got taken to school.

It wasn't long that we sat on the deck, watching the dying rays of the sunset, and, tears in her eyes, she apologized to me for ever saying she didn't care if she ever met them.

I said, "Apologize to yourself, darlin. That's how people create personal prisons".

Lessons learned.

Ain't no "walls" out here, except the ones that folks create for themselves.

[northbound74]

Originally Posted by RogMar

Nope.

Yep, one of the "Villages".

Just about as complete a wall around their world as they can get.

It is totally possible, to live in Arkansas, socialize in Arkansas, shop in Arkansas, and never hear a southern accent.

One forms a club, with a state name, and people from that state join, and there's your social circle and friends.

A town directory, like a phone book, lists your name and address, and proudly lists which state you're from, so you can figure out if you really want to talk to that couple two houses down.

Then, eventually, you get it wrapped so tight that folks that came to Arkansas for the beauty, the freedom, the weather, the openness, find that it's now exactly the same as that which they ran away from.

Even with all my issues over Arkansas, I never quite understood why people would move there and make it like wherever they were from.

Wherever people choose to live, they have to be willing to embrace the culture to some extent. If it doesn't work out, find somewhere else.

[weaverar]

We were coming home, on the dirt road off the dirt road, and she saw a rather.......scary....looking house.

Now for any of y'all that haven't done the back roads, that means there's appliances laying around, couple of dead pickups, some farm implements of various descript, and wood smoke curling from what most folks would call a "shack".

She stares, and says, "I don't care if I ever meet those folks", and looks at me.

I grinned and shook my head.

She says......."What??"

"Nothin', darlin", shaking my head slowly.

Woman in that shack taught her to quilt, brought her herbs when she was sick, gave her some great cooking lessons, told her many stories of "yesteryear".............

My wife, who has always been heralded as the queen of "crafters", got taken to school.

It wasn't long that we sat on the deck, watching the dying rays of the sunset, and, tears in her eyes, she apologized to me for ever saying she didn't care if she ever met them.

I said, "Apologize to yourself, darlin. That's how people create personal prisons".

Lessons learned.

Ain't no "walls" out here, except the ones that folks create for themselves.

[/quote]

Very well said. When we learn that it isn't about the outside appearance we can exponentially expand ourselves.