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Old 10-14-2008, 08:00 AM
 
483 posts, read 1,360,559 times
Reputation: 195

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[quote=Stormcrow73;5682990]Let me ask you this very pointed question: Would you have rather grown up in a single parent household where you were loved and nurtured as best as possible or would you rather have grown up in an institution with "The State" as your sole caretaker? That's really the breadth of options we're talking about here. There isn't much in between.[/quote]

Listen, the OP asked how we felt about it, and I gave my opinion, just as everyone else has. I did not attack you and your opinion, don't attack me and mine. I think to say that the options we are talking about leave us relying on just state custody or a single parent home, is ridiculous! There are many homes with both the mother and father who take in foster children everyday! To say that simply because there are not enough of those homes that we should start letting "just anyone" become foster parents is absurd! Studies have proven (and no I do not have a link to back that up) that a home consisting of a mom and dad is a proven better environment for a child than any other option. Again, the state needs to place a child in the best possible situation! Most of these children have been through abuse and neglect. They don't need to trade one set of problems for another set!

Your question is ridiculous when you put it in the context that you have! The question here is not what you have asked me, it is what is the best home the state can provide for a child. As I said, IMO, a single parent or gay home is not in the best interest of a child (especially a child who has already endured abuse or neglect), when they could be placed in a home with a mom and a dad!
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Old 10-14-2008, 08:03 AM
 
Location: The Rock!
2,370 posts, read 6,854,459 times
Reputation: 803
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02 View Post
As far as I know gays already are banned from adopting in this state. If that's so, then this is just a political move to rally the troops to vote for McCain. On one side it's good people are standing up for moral values, but on the other side this only re-enforces our image as a backward state. I am going to vote no regardless of my personal feelings on the issue.
I find it morally corrupt that the children of Arkansas are being used as tools to advance a political agenda.
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Old 10-14-2008, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
69,278 posts, read 79,447,244 times
Reputation: 38636
Quote:
Originally Posted by RTTNFAM View Post
I guess I will be the one person on here who thinks that a veil or not, that I will vote yes! I will also say that my faith would not allow me to feel that placing children in a gay household is "ok". IMO it is not! I also do not believe that a single parent home is as ideal as a home with a mom and a dad. Growing up in a single parent home I know the complications and hardships that can come of it. In all reality, whether people choose to believe it or not, this measure is just trying to ensure that children are placed in the best possible scenario. Most these children have been through enough as it is, they don't need placed in another controversial spot!
Much of what you say I agree with, but the single parent versus the mom and dad situation is unrealistic in todays world. There is a need for good foster homes, social workers are over worked, a loving home is better than an institution thus I think I will have to vote NO on the issue. Again, I know where you are coming from, but we were foster parents for many years and we know how much these kids need homes..

Nita
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Old 10-14-2008, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
69,278 posts, read 79,447,244 times
Reputation: 38636
Quote:
Originally Posted by strumpeace View Post
This is the second election in which anti-gay people have put an issue on the ballot in order to ensure that Arkansas goes for the Republican Presidential candidate. It's a smokescreen.

I'm opposed to the initiative. It's bigotry, pure and simple.
Hey, since when are we talking about the presidency? Sam is going to pull this thread, which is interesting and informative if we start talking politics....

bchris02, the bill is talking fostering as much as adoption...and has nothing to do with the presidency. What control over this issue would our federal government have. Again, Sam is going to pull this thread if we don't watch out..
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC (in my mind)
7,946 posts, read 14,599,851 times
Reputation: 4457
We are talking about the Presidency because the Arkansas Family Council always puts issues like this on the ballot during Presidential years to ensure Arkansas goes for the Republican candidate.
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:50 AM
 
Location: In my playhouse.
1,047 posts, read 2,459,105 times
Reputation: 1717
I have worked with children for many years. There are two things I try my best not to say. #1 Anything refering to "Mom" or "Dad". I have seen kids start crying upon hearing those words. Mom is gone somewhere - Dad is gone somewhere. There is a vacancy that hurts them. It breaks my heart. #2 Talk about doing something fun with my Grandkids. So many kids are being raised by one or both Grandparents. A Grandparent that has to play the role of parent is so different than one like myself who's only job is to spoil them. I have lost count of the number of kids that have ask to go home with me. Kids know when they are a problem to someone. When they are young they will talk about it. When they get older, they act out in any way that will get them some type of attention.

An after school program I worked with had 85 percent of children living with someone other than their parents. The main thing I hear is feeling like nobody cares about them. The kids think it is their fault.

IMO it is not a moral high road to say that a gay person's love is flawed. If it is a concern the child in their care will be abused, I know that a review of the abuse cases will show most sexual abuse is from "straight" people. Anyone I have known that takes in foster care children has a lot of love to share and truely cares about helping kids. If a bond develops and they want to adopt then what a wonderful thing that would be for all involved.

I know I would rather be with someone who cared about me than in a ward where no one cared about my happiness and well being. Gay fear is silly IMO.
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 12,761,482 times
Reputation: 3536
I think the Arkansas "Family" council could care less about the kids in AR.
NWAnews.com :: Northwest Arkansas' News Source (http://www.nwanews.com/adg/News/239869/ - broken link)
They are more worried and invested in attacking gays and lesbians.

I also find it unfair that this initiative would affect private adoptions as well. Who is the state to decide what family a mother should have to decide between to adopt her child, espeically in a PRIVATE adoption?

I know of a lesbian woman who is raising her granddaughter because her daughter is chronically ill. The woman would love for her mother to adopt her child in the event of her death but if this initiative passes, the grandmother would not be allowed to adopt her granddaughter SIMPLY because she is a lesbian. Is there not something wrong with this? Honestly, you may hate gays and lesbians for some reason or another but this ban has far-reaching implications.

The last Census shows 19% of Arkansas families were married couples raising their biological children. This means that any of the state's families are operating in a structure created in the last century that favors heterosexual married coiple families. Family definition, employee benefits, Social Security, taxes, pensions, funding for education are all modeled on the idea of the "traditional familiy" that is no longer the majority.

Non-traditional families inlcude, but ARE NOT limited to:
Cohabitating people not in a sexual relationship who care for one another
Unmarried heterosexual couples, with or without children
Foster, adoptive, or group homes
Single parent households
Blended families
Step-families
Grandparents raising children
Families with Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay or Transgender parents
Families with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender children

Right now the Arkansas "Family" Council seeks to determine through legislation and ballot initiatives to define for ALL Arkansans who can legally be a family. Their primary targets are lesbians, gays, and unmarried heterosexual couples who live together.

According to the Census there are an estimated:
6,000 same-sex couples living in AR
65,000 LGBTQ people live in AR
30% are raising children under the age of 18
37,000 unmarried opposite sex couples living in AR
48%!! are raising children
At least 100,000 Arkansans are affected by attempts to define who is a family.

(This number is much larger when factoring in the number of families affected who will be unable to name unmarried relatives or friends, who are straight or gay couples, as their children's guardians in the event of parent's death.)

Children in AR foster care that will be further affected by defining families:
3,253 children in foster care
34.4% between the ages of 1-5
28.8% between the ages of 6-12
36.9% between the ages of 13-21

55% experience multiple placements
500 of these children live in group or institutional settings
7.2 children in foster care for EVERY foster care home statewide
Most foster children spend a minimum of two birthdays in care
200 youth age out annually without having a family for support
900+ in Arkansas foster care are waiting to be adopted

Source: www.kidsarewaiting.org
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Old 10-14-2008, 11:10 AM
 
483 posts, read 1,360,559 times
Reputation: 195
To reply to the last two comments, which seemed aimed at my post... I neither have "gay fear" nor do I hate gays/lesbians. I am a Christian, and therefore I do not believe that the homosexual lifestyle is right! According to the bible, homosexual relationships are forbidden, as stated in Leviticus 18 of the Holy Bible. To me, that can not be overlooked by anyone who proclaims to be a Christian! That is the reason why I do not think gays/lesbians should be allowed to be adoptive or foster parents, it is not a natural lifestyle and as I have stated these kids have had enough adversity already! I believe that if someone chooses to participate in homosexual relationships they should be willing to understand that doing so has consequences (just as drinking and driving has consequences), and will limit them in their desires of having children and so forth! Just because people do not have the opinion in which you do does not make them gay/lesbian haters! I hate the sin (homosexuality) not the person, which is what Christianity teaches. I do not try to take the "moral high road", but I do base my decisions on my faith. Again, the OP asked for opinions, you have mine. I realize I am in minority on this one, and that's OK!
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:29 PM
 
Location: In my playhouse.
1,047 posts, read 2,459,105 times
Reputation: 1717
RTTNFAM, I was just sharing my opinion. I respect the fact that your faith guides you to live your life in a certain way. I disagree that because you believe the way you do it gives you the right to anything more than the right to your own opinion. Not the right to tell me how I should live my life. I have my own faith. God Bless America.
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:57 PM
 
483 posts, read 1,360,559 times
Reputation: 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clay Lady View Post
RTTNFAM, I was just sharing my opinion. I respect the fact that your faith guides you to live your life in a certain way. I disagree that because you believe the way you do it gives you the right to anything more than the right to your own opinion. Not the right to tell me how I should live my life. I have my own faith. God Bless America.

I don't believe I have told you how to live your life?? Anyway... We are both right in that we are both allowed and have a right to our own opinions! If we all shared the same opinion, things would be pretty boring! I just felt that my opinon was being "misunderstood" as gay/lesbian hating, and wanted to clarify that it was not! I have done that to the best of my ability, and now I hope the thread can get back to the main topic of opinions on the measure and not rantings from the right and the left on how we disagree! I say we should agree to disagree and move
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