[Cunucu Beach]

"Normal" or not, the Duggars are obviously a HAPPY family and that's all that matters.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Cunucu Beach

"Normal" or not, the Duggars are obviously a HAPPY family and that's all that matters.

you know, we are all sitting here judging the family, and making statements about them being happy, not happy, normal, not normal, etc. I don't know if they are happy, I do know most children from families with several children do not end up having several themselves. This does tell me huge families are not always what they appear to be.

Yes, I am judging and probably should not. Your assuming they are a happy family is based on assumptions only, same as my view is based on opinion. I know, we have one person here who is 100% defending the family. She probably has more insight that the rest of us, but I am not sure she really knows what those kids are thinking either..

Nita

[DC at the Ridge]

Originally Posted by nmnita

you know, we are all sitting here judging the family, and making statements about them being happy, not happy, normal, not normal, etc. I don't know if they are happy, I do know most children from families with several children do not end up having several themselves. This does tell me huge families are not always what they appear to be.

Yes, I am judging and probably should not. Your assuming they are a happy family is based on assumptions only, same as my view is based on opinion. I know, we have one person here who is 100% defending the family. She probably has more insight that the rest of us, but I am not sure she really knows what those kids are thinking either..

Nita

But she KNOWS the kids.

Despite what people seem to think, it's not like the Duggars live in a bubble. They live right here in Northwest Arkansas. Yes, their parents manage the children's time on the internet and watching TV, but the kids are getting exposure to those things. The kids have friends, they go to the store with their parents, they drive around town. They have chores, but when you're dividing up responsibilities between a bunch of people in a household, those chores get done more quickly. What we see on the TV is a glimpse, there is just as much reason from that glimpse to assume they are happy and well-adjusted children, as there is reason to assume otherwise. So why are so many people assuming otherwise?

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge

But she KNOWS the kids.

Despite what people seem to think, it's not like the Duggars live in a bubble. They live right here in Northwest Arkansas. Yes, their parents manage the children's time on the internet and watching TV, but the kids are getting exposure to those things. The kids have friends, they go to the store with their parents, they drive around town. They have chores, but when you're dividing up responsibilities between a bunch of people in a household, those chores get done more quickly. What we see on the TV is a glimpse, there is just as much reason from that glimpse to assume they are happy and well-adjusted children, as there is reason to assume otherwise. So why are so many people assuming otherwise?

and for the most part I would say you make good points, I still think on one will really know until the kids all leave home, even then we may not know. I think I would not feel quite so strongly about this if they were not selling their story on TV..When I first heard about them (several years ago) I was kinda impressed but that was with more like 14 instead of 18 and it was a one time TV shot. Now it has turned into something totally different. With the publicity alone the kids could be affected.

Nita

[crazyma]

I find myself wondering what Bill Gothard thinks about them being on TV> maybe he gave his blessing.

[gimme it]

Originally Posted by nmnita

I may not necdessarily think the way the Duggers live is ideal, nor normal. I don't agree with Sherreenee idea that most most young people today do not know how to cook or run a house after they are on their own, but what would make you say, they hit thier kids or is they do, this is all wrong??

NIta

I hope they don't. I only ask, because what I have read about Fundamental families, and what they believe in in terms of childrearing. I did not get the impression that the Duggars did hit, but I was curious.

[Cunucu Beach]

Originally Posted by nmnita

you know, we are all sitting here judging the family, and making statements about them being happy, not happy, normal, not normal, etc. I don't know if they are happy, I do know most children from families with several children do not end up having several themselves. This does tell me huge families are not always what they appear to be.

Yes, I am judging and probably should not. Your assuming they are a happy family is based on assumptions only, same as my view is based on opinion. I know, we have one person here who is 100% defending the family. She probably has more insight that the rest of us, but I am not sure she really knows what those kids are thinking either..

Nita

No, it isn't "assumptions" only. I've seen them on TV several times and would bet the farm that they are far happier than the average family in today's world. There is obviously a lot of love in that family and if you can't see it, then you need to take down your judgmental attitude and listen and watch without thinking there must be some dysfunctional dynamics going on behind the scenes. The Duggars are productive ('cuse the pun) citizens, raising their children in a responsible and loving environment. How those children will function as adults remains to be seen but their chances for successful lives are at least as good and probably better than most other children from "normal" families.

[gimme it]

Have you ever seen the parents hug or kiss their children on the show?

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Cunucu Beach

No, it isn't "assumptions" only. I've seen them on TV several times and would bet the farm that they are far happier than the average family in today's world. There is obviously a lot of love in that family and if you can't see it, then you need to take down your judgmental attitude and listen and watch without thinking there must be some dysfunctional dynamics going on behind the scenes. The Duggars are productive ('cuse the pun) citizens, raising their children in a responsible and loving environment. How those children will function as adults remains to be seen but their chances for successful lives are at least as good and probably better than most other children from "normal" families.

and do you believe everything you see on TV? I am not saying they are not a happy family, what I am saying is you nor do I know if they are happy. I am sure with all your wonderful knowledge you seem to have, you realize that for every TV episode that is shot there are 3 or 4 more hours of tape.

You can call me judgemental, that is not my intent: I am only giving my opinion which I beleive if what these boards are all about. I would like to see where you think I am being judgemental, I simply am not convinced they are what they appear to be on TV.

Nita

[crazyma]

hmmmm....why are some of you asking if they 'HIT' their children??? Now if they, or anyone is HITTING their children, child services should be called. But if you mean spanking/discipline...well that is another matter entirely