[nmnita]

Originally Posted by pll

I think some of us are envious of their purity and joy. We actually enjoy watching/learning the way they parent. They have order, love and an incredible amount of patience with their children. The children seem to generally like each other and have fun together. You can tell they aren't around bulllying and peer pressure that you can find in the school system. For those of us that have raised teens, you know how challenging those years are for just those reasons alone.

maybe some are envious, but I would imagine they are few and far between. I would bet more watch the show as a form of entertainment and out of curiosity..Peer pressure is a part of life just like competition, etc. As for them truely having order, love, incredible patients and so forth you are aware aren't you, for everything we see on the tube, hours of filming has taken place, not to mention orders are being given, "behave for now" you sound as if you think they do not fight, gripe, have conflicts with each other and don't wonder what the outside world is really like. Are you suggesting parents should all home school their kids so they don't have to face the conflicts of real life or families should totally control their teens instead of allowing them to find out what the world is really like? Of course raising teens is a challenge, I think God did this deliberately so we would be mroe ready to let go when the time comes.

Nita

[pll]

Originally Posted by nmnita

As for them truely having order, love, incredible patients and so forth you are aware aren't you, for everything we see on the tube, hours of filming has taken place, not to mention orders are being given, "behave for now" you sound as if you think they do not fight, gripe, have conflicts with each other and don't wonder what the outside world is really like.Nita

I would enjoy watching their show even more to see a good conflict or two (which I'm sure they have in a family that size). Some of us could probably learn on combining love and dicipline which is tricky for some without loosing it.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by pll

I would enjoy watching their show even more to see a good conflict or two (which I'm sure they have in a family that size). Some of us could probably learn on combining love and dicipline which is tricky for some without loosing it.

oh, I am sure we will never seen that but it would be interesting. I just can't totally accept this family is how they appear on TV..Maybe it is my age, I am always a little skeptical. The first couple of times they were on TV specials (about 2 or 3 years ago) I was intrigued (spelling). Now, I just don't think the family is quite as we see them, nor do I think having that many kids can be fair to the kids. I am not talking about material things, that too is important, but money can not buy happiness, as we all know or have heard. I am talking about the attention I happen to feel each of us needs in our lives. This is just my view on it, others feel differently, but it isn't normal and I don't think particualarly healthy for anyone.

Nita

[pll]

Originally Posted by nmnita

Now, I just don't think the family is quite as we see them, nor do I think having that many kids can be fair to the kids. I am not talking about material things, that too is important, but money can not buy happiness, as we all know or have heard. I am talking about the attention I happen to feel each of us needs in our lives. This is just my view on it, others feel differently, but it isn't normal and I don't think particualarly healthy for anyone.

Nita

I agree after having raised my kids that it's not an easy task. The Duggar children's physical needs are met I'm concerned more about the other needs. I know they have to make an appointment to meet with their mom. (Michelle admited this on their website). Something isn't right about that. In big families you have to be careful that the kids don't raise themselves. Hopefully ,they have other adults/mentors that are availble to pick up the slack when mom and dad are "too busy".
My Grandma was one of 14 but that was in the early 1900's.Life was very hard for them. Parental involvement was minimal. The older children parented the younger children. Children raising children. Also, I worry about why a woman in this century would choose this life. Contraception isn't sinful and God didn't curse her with a miscarriage because she used the pill. I'm concerned about Michelle's mental health and maybe her husband is a little bit too. Her husband lets her decide to have more kids or not. (They were on The View recently when Jim Duggar made this comment). She is planning on having more. God bless them. It's not a life I would choose.

[nmnita]

pll, you are right about all of this. My grandmother also was one of 14 and yes, that was in the late 1800s when kids were needed on the farm. Even then, that is a heck of a big family. I guess we can say one thing about the Duggers, they are not quite like the gal in Ca that just had 8 and there is no mention of a daddy...

Now that will be an interesting story as it unfolds. She already has 6, ranging from 7 to twins that are 2.

Nita

[ArizonaBear]

I have but one thing to say:

Despite my feelings against large families: at least the Duggars are taking care of their own (which I respect) vs. that Suleyman (sp) woman having octuplets (sp) in Whittier, Ca. on the taxpayer's dime.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by ArizonaBear

I have but one thing to say:

Despite my feelings against large families: at least the Duggars are taking care of their own (which I respect) vs. that Suleyman (sp) woman having octuplets (sp) in Whittier, Ca. on the taxpayer's dime.

boy if that isn't true and like I said, I can't wait to hear the "rest of the story"

Nita

[Bluefly]

It would seem that the Duggars are hedonists.

What, really, is the difference between binge drinking, binge partying, and binge procreation? They are all rooted in the same misguided psycholgical place - a little is good, so a lot must be better.

She uses the argument that every child is a gift from God, but that requires one to delve deeply into one's inner consciousness to know when it is time for children and how many is best for oneself.

Her decisions have been rooted in the rational mind, blaming it all on God's will as an offering for him punishing her for using birth control yet not realizing that she is ignoring her inner guidance. Setting a desire for 20 kids is not love, it's a scoreboard.

It is sad that the extreme conservative culture cannot produce strong role models - from this family to Sarah Palin to Rush Limbaugh, it is just one psychologically imbalance hedonistic power grab after another. There's good ideas in there - they need to find respectable voices.

[linicx]

My great-grandfathers had 30 children between them. There is nothing wrong with a large family if that is what you want. Why you want a large family is not the business of anyone except the parents. It is not unusal in large families for the older children to help the younger children and do housework. It builds character, teaches responsibiity and creates great babysitters.

A long time ago I was talking to a friend who was one of twelve children. Tney were never sick. Why, I asked. The house has 7 bedrooms. Every weekend of the year from Saturday morning until Sunday night every room in the house was cleaned from ceiling to walls to floors. Rugs went out on the line to be beatten. Curtains were wasned as was all the bedding in every room. so were furniture covers, towels. If was used that week, it was wshed that week. And they did laundry every day. It made me tired to think abou it. Every kid old enough to walk had a chore whether it was to pick up toys or feed a baby.. Tne children were well adjusted adults with no psychosis or illusions about marriage and raising babies. And most of them had large families.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Bluefly

It would seem that the Duggars are hedonists.

What, really, is the difference between binge drinking, binge partying, and binge procreation? They are all rooted in the same misguided psycholgical place - a little is good, so a lot must be better.

She uses the argument that every child is a gift from God, but that requires one to delve deeply into one's inner consciousness to know when it is time for children and how many is best for oneself.

Her decisions have been rooted in the rational mind, blaming it all on God's will as an offering for him punishing her for using birth control yet not realizing that she is ignoring her inner guidance. Setting a desire for 20 kids is not love, it's a scoreboard.

It is sad that the extreme conservative culture cannot produce strong role models - from this family to Sarah Palin to Rush Limbaugh, it is just one psychologically imbalance hedonistic power grab after another. There's good ideas in there - they need to find respectable voices.

explain what Sarah Palin and Rush have to do with the Duggers having 18 kids??? I don't see any connection except for they are all conservatives..

Nita