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Old 03-15-2009, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,065,999 times
Reputation: 1496

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Oh Rainbow I love the thread! Wish I would have thought of it! When I go out with hubby on the truck sometimes I get on the CB and get truckers to share jokes! It is good and passes time in traffic jams!
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,065,999 times
Reputation: 1496
I hope I get this right! If I mess it up sorry. A truck driver walks into a cat house tells the lady I am homesick really bad and missing my wife so I will give you 500 dollars for the fatest ugliest lady you have. The woman said for 500 dollars I will give you the best looking lady we have and a steak supper. The man looked at her and said apparently you did not hear me I said I was homesick and missed my wife
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,340,421 times
Reputation: 691
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacieberry View Post
Oh Rainbow I love the thread! Wish I would have thought of it! When I go out with hubby on the truck sometimes I get on the CB and get truckers to share jokes! It is good and passes time in traffic jams!
Thanks, You reckon I might get me a sticky with this one?

breaker-breaker 1-9. Did you hear the one about...............LOL.
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,340,421 times
Reputation: 691
OK Stacie. That was a good one. But that only means that it's my turn again.


Nymphomaniac Convention <A clean dirty joke>
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat . As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs ofAmerica Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,065,999 times
Reputation: 1496
The new guy in prison was sitting in his cell and heard someone tell 32 and everyone just dies laughing! The new prisoner just ignored it. Then someone else yells 15. The whole prison is rolling laughing. The new guy yells what is up with the numbers then eveyone laughs. Someone yells back we have been in prison so long now we hear the same jokes so we just numbered them to make it easier. Oh the new guy said cool! So he yells out 5. No one laughed. So he yells it out again 5. Then a few cell blocks down a man yells some people just can not tell a joke.
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,340,421 times
Reputation: 691
You done got all over this Stacie. Well, you know what that means. Yep, My turn.


YOUR HAIR SMELLS GOOD

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice..

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 2,065,999 times
Reputation: 1496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Island View Post
You done got all over this Stacie. Well, you know what that means. Yep, My turn.


YOUR HAIR SMELLS GOOD

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice..

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
LOL good one! I had to tell hubby
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:16 AM
 
9,727 posts, read 3,443,757 times
Reputation: 10761
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and ask the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,340,421 times
Reputation: 691
HERE'S THE RIDE FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS LOST MONEY IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS DUE TO THE MARKET, ETC.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=3][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[CENTER][SIZE=3]
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Old 03-17-2009, 05:07 AM
 
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
929 posts, read 2,340,421 times
Reputation: 691
Old Love
>>
>>
>>
>> A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
>>
>> He throws the kite up in the air, the wind
>>
>> catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to
>> earth.
>>
>> He tries this a few more times with no success.
>>
>> All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
>>
>> muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
>>
>> She opens the window and yells to her husband,
>>
>> 'You need a piece of tail.'
>>
>> The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
>>
>> 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.
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