03-14-2009, 06:07 PM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
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Reputation: 693
Why don't we get a thread started to share jokes. I'll start with this.
Old Arkansas Farmer went to town to see a movie:
THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"
THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES."
"I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."
THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS. THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER. HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.
THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.
"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WHAT?" SAID MARGE.
"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE.
"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID MARGE.. "AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"
"I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"
03-14-2009, 08:22 PM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
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Reputation: 693
Snoring Problems
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if she can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, it look like we got first and second place."
03-14-2009, 09:49 PM
9,732 posts, read
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Reputation: 10810
Hillbilly Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral.
Q: How do you get a hillbilly out of a bathtub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: How do you tell the bride at a hillbilly wedding?
A: She's wearing the cleanest shirt.
03-14-2009, 10:13 PM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
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Reputation: 693
dead donkey
Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad News, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that
Dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a
profit of $998.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back
03-14-2009, 11:07 PM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
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Reputation: 693
OK Sandgirl. Looks like its just you and me.
Respectfully Cheating Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"
03-15-2009, 08:27 AM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
2,654,004 times
Reputation: 693
Armed Robber
An armed and hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shoots the guy without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.
One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
'Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.
There is a few moments silence than one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says:
'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse....
03-15-2009, 08:32 AM
9,732 posts, read
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Reputation: 10810
A state trooper stopped a pick up truck.
He ask the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver said, "Boutwhat?"
03-15-2009, 08:49 AM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
2,654,004 times
Reputation: 693
I've got to post the 2008 Darwin Awards here too.
The 2008 Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. This time it worked..
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He
tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
Ø
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago, returned with his vehicle, to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
Ø
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Ø
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
$20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...
$15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and
the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun,
and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges
saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a
distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they
are distant
and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***
03-15-2009, 09:17 AM
9,732 posts, read
4,045,617 times
Reputation: 10810
Ways the Olympics would differ if held in Arkansas:
Doves released during opening ceremonies are promptly shot by the crowd and sold as concession snacks.
Olympic officials attempt to pass off LeAnn Rimes' frantic yodeling as a medley of all different national anthems, "'includin' all them new Russian ones."
Two words: Billy Bobsledding.
03-15-2009, 09:55 AM
Location: Haynesville, La.-Pangburn, Ar.
763 posts, read
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Reputation: 693
Stimulus Payment............
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This
is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money? "
A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "
A. Only a smidgen.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "
A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the
money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball
game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos,
since those are the only businesses still in the US.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com .
Data:
Median household income ($)
Median household income (% change since 2000)
Household income diversity
Ratio of average income to average house value (%)
Ratio of average income to average rent
Median household income ($) - White
Median household income ($) - Black or African American
Median household income ($) - Asian
Median household income ($) - Hispanic or Latino
Median household income ($) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median household income ($) - Multirace
Median household income ($) - Other Race
Median household income for houses/condos with a mortgage ($)
Median household income for apartments without a mortgage ($)
Races - White alone (%)
Races - White alone (% change since 2000)
Races - Black alone (%)
Races - Black alone (% change since 2000)
Races - American Indian alone (%)
Races - American Indian alone (% change since 2000)
Races - Asian alone (%)
Races - Asian alone (% change since 2000)
Races - Hispanic (%)
Races - Hispanic (% change since 2000)
Races - Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone (%)
Races - Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone (% change since 2000)
Races - Two or more races (%)
Races - Two or more races (% change since 2000)
Races - Other race alone (%)
Races - Other race alone (% change since 2000)
Racial diversity
Unemployment (%)
Unemployment (% change since 2000)
Unemployment (%) - White
Unemployment (%) - Black or African American
Unemployment (%) - Asian
Unemployment (%) - Hispanic or Latino
Unemployment (%) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Unemployment (%) - Multirace
Unemployment (%) - Other Race
Population density (people per square mile)
Population - Males (%)
Population - Females (%)
Population - Males (%) - White
Population - Males (%) - Black or African American
Population - Males (%) - Asian
Population - Males (%) - Hispanic or Latino
Population - Males (%) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Population - Males (%) - Multirace
Population - Males (%) - Other Race
Population - Females (%) - White
Population - Females (%) - Black or African American
Population - Females (%) - Asian
Population - Females (%) - Hispanic or Latino
Population - Females (%) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Population - Females (%) - Multirace
Population - Females (%) - Other Race
Coronavirus confirmed cases (Mar 02, 2024)
Deaths caused by coronavirus (Mar 02, 2024)
Coronavirus confirmed cases (per 100k population) (Mar 02, 2024)
Deaths caused by coronavirus (per 100k population) (Mar 02, 2024)
Daily increase in number of cases (Mar 02, 2024)
Weekly increase in number of cases (Mar 02, 2024)
Cases doubled (in days) (Mar 02, 2024)
Hospitalized patients (Apr 18, 2022)
Negative test results (Apr 18, 2022)
Total test results (Apr 18, 2022)
COVID Vaccine doses distributed (per 100k population) (Sep 19, 2023)
COVID Vaccine doses administered (per 100k population) (Sep 19, 2023)
COVID Vaccine doses distributed (Sep 19, 2023)
COVID Vaccine doses administered (Sep 19, 2023)
Likely homosexual households (%)
Likely homosexual households (% change since 2000)
Likely homosexual households - Lesbian couples (%)
Likely homosexual households - Lesbian couples (% change since 2000)
Likely homosexual households - Gay men (%)
Likely homosexual households - Gay men (% change since 2000)
Cost of living index
Median gross rent ($)
Median contract rent ($)
Median monthly housing costs ($)
Median house or condo value ($)
Median house or condo value ($ change since 2000)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - 1, detached ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - 1, attached ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - 2 ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure by units in structure - 3 or 4 ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - 5 or more ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - Boat, RV, van, etc. ($)
Mean house or condo value by units in structure - Mobile home ($)
Median house or condo value ($) - White
Median house or condo value ($) - Black or African American
Median house or condo value ($) - Asian
Median house or condo value ($) - Hispanic or Latino
Median house or condo value ($) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median house or condo value ($) - Multirace
Median house or condo value ($) - Other Race
Median resident age
Resident age diversity
Median resident age - Males
Median resident age - Females
Median resident age - White
Median resident age - Black or African American
Median resident age - Asian
Median resident age - Hispanic or Latino
Median resident age - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median resident age - Multirace
Median resident age - Other Race
Median resident age - Males - White
Median resident age - Males - Black or African American
Median resident age - Males - Asian
Median resident age - Males - Hispanic or Latino
Median resident age - Males - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median resident age - Males - Multirace
Median resident age - Males - Other Race
Median resident age - Females - White
Median resident age - Females - Black or African American
Median resident age - Females - Asian
Median resident age - Females - Hispanic or Latino
Median resident age - Females - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median resident age - Females - Multirace
Median resident age - Females - Other Race
Commute - mean travel time to work (minutes)
Travel time to work - Less than 5 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - Less than 5 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 5 to 9 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 5 to 9 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 10 to 19 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 10 to 19 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 20 to 29 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 20 to 29 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 30 to 39 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 30 to 39 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 40 to 59 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 40 to 59 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 60 to 89 minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 60 to 89 minutes (% change since 2000)
Travel time to work - 90 or more minutes (%)
Travel time to work - 90 or more minutes (% change since 2000)
Marital status - Never married (%)
Marital status - Now married (%)
Marital status - Separated (%)
Marital status - Widowed (%)
Marital status - Divorced (%)
Median family income ($)
Median family income (% change since 2000)
Median non-family income ($)
Median non-family income (% change since 2000)
Median per capita income ($)
Median per capita income (% change since 2000)
Median family income ($) - White
Median family income ($) - Black or African American
Median family income ($) - Asian
Median family income ($) - Hispanic or Latino
Median family income ($) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Median family income ($) - Multirace
Median family income ($) - Other Race
Median year house/condo built
Median year apartment built
Year house built - Built 2005 or later (%)
Year house built - Built 2000 to 2004 (%)
Year house built - Built 1990 to 1999 (%)
Year house built - Built 1980 to 1989 (%)
Year house built - Built 1970 to 1979 (%)
Year house built - Built 1960 to 1969 (%)
Year house built - Built 1950 to 1959 (%)
Year house built - Built 1940 to 1949 (%)
Year house built - Built 1939 or earlier (%)
Average household size
Household density (households per square mile)
Average household size - White
Average household size - Black or African American
Average household size - Asian
Average household size - Hispanic or Latino
Average household size - American Indian and Alaska Native
Average household size - Multirace
Average household size - Other Race
Occupied housing units (%)
Vacant housing units (%)
Owner occupied housing units (%)
Renter occupied housing units (%)
Vacancy status - For rent (%)
Vacancy status - For sale only (%)
Vacancy status - Rented or sold, not occupied (%)
Vacancy status - For seasonal, recreational, or occasional use (%)
Vacancy status - For migrant workers (%)
Vacancy status - Other vacant (%)
Residents with income below the poverty level (%)
Residents with income below 50% of the poverty level (%)
Children below poverty level (%)
Poor families by family type - Married-couple family (%)
Poor families by family type - Male, no wife present (%)
Poor families by family type - Female, no husband present (%)
Poverty status for native-born residents (%)
Poverty status for foreign-born residents (%)
Poverty among high school graduates not in families (%)
Poverty among people who did not graduate high school not in families (%)
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - White
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - Black or African American
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - Asian
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - Hispanic or Latino
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - American Indian and Alaska Native
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - Multirace
Residents with income below the poverty level (%) - Other Race
Air pollution - Air Quality Index (AQI)
Air pollution - CO
Air pollution - NO2
Air pollution - SO2
Air pollution - Ozone
Air pollution - PM10
Air pollution - PM25
Air pollution - Pb
Crime - Murders per 100,000 population
Crime - Rapes per 100,000 population
Crime - Robberies per 100,000 population
Crime - Assaults per 100,000 population
Crime - Burglaries per 100,000 population
Crime - Thefts per 100,000 population
Crime - Auto thefts per 100,000 population
Crime - Arson per 100,000 population
Crime - City-data.com crime index
Crime - Violent crime index
Crime - Property crime index
Crime - Murders per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Rapes per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Robberies per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Assaults per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Burglaries per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Thefts per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Auto thefts per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - Arson per 100,000 population (5 year average)
Crime - City-data.com crime index (5 year average)
Crime - Violent crime index (5 year average)
Crime - Property crime index (5 year average)
1996 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Clinton)
1996 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Dole)
1996 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2000 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Gore)
2000 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Bush)
2000 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2004 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Kerry)
2004 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Bush)
2004 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2008 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Obama)
2008 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (McCain)
2008 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2012 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Obama)
2012 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Romney)
2012 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2016 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Clinton)
2016 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Trump)
2016 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
2020 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Democratic Party (Biden)
2020 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Republican Party (Trump)
2020 Presidential Elections Results (%) - Other
Ancestries Reported - Arab (%)
Ancestries Reported - Czech (%)
Ancestries Reported - Danish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Dutch (%)
Ancestries Reported - English (%)
Ancestries Reported - French (%)
Ancestries Reported - French Canadian (%)
Ancestries Reported - German (%)
Ancestries Reported - Greek (%)
Ancestries Reported - Hungarian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Irish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Italian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Lithuanian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Norwegian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Polish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Portuguese (%)
Ancestries Reported - Russian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Scotch-Irish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Scottish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Slovak (%)
Ancestries Reported - Subsaharan African (%)
Ancestries Reported - Swedish (%)
Ancestries Reported - Swiss (%)
Ancestries Reported - Ukrainian (%)
Ancestries Reported - United States (%)
Ancestries Reported - Welsh (%)
Ancestries Reported - West Indian (%)
Ancestries Reported - Other (%)
Educational Attainment - No schooling completed (%)
Educational Attainment - Less than high school (%)
Educational Attainment - High school or equivalent (%)
Educational Attainment - Less than 1 year of college (%)
Educational Attainment - 1 or more years of college (%)
Educational Attainment - Associate degree (%)
Educational Attainment - Bachelor's degree (%)
Educational Attainment - Master's degree (%)
Educational Attainment - Professional school degree (%)
Educational Attainment - Doctorate degree (%)
School Enrollment - Nursery, preschool (%)
School Enrollment - Kindergarten (%)
School Enrollment - Grade 1 to 4 (%)
School Enrollment - Grade 5 to 8 (%)
School Enrollment - Grade 9 to 12 (%)
School Enrollment - College undergrad (%)
School Enrollment - Graduate or professional (%)
School Enrollment - Not enrolled in school (%)
School enrollment - Public schools (%)
School enrollment - Private schools (%)
School enrollment - Not enrolled (%)
Median number of rooms in houses and condos
Median number of rooms in apartments
Housing units lacking complete plumbing facilities (%)
Housing units lacking complete kitchen facilities (%)
Density of houses
Urban houses (%)
Rural houses (%)
Households with people 60 years and over (%)
Households with people 65 years and over (%)
Households with people 75 years and over (%)
Households with one or more nonrelatives (%)
Households with no nonrelatives (%)
Population in households (%)
Family households (%)
Nonfamily households (%)
Population in families (%)
Family households with own children (%)
Median number of bedrooms in owner occupied houses
Mean number of bedrooms in owner occupied houses
Median number of bedrooms in renter occupied houses
Mean number of bedrooms in renter occupied houses
Median number of vehichles in owner occupied houses
Mean number of vehichles in owner occupied houses
Median number of vehichles in renter occupied houses
Mean number of vehichles in renter occupied houses
Mortgage status - with mortgage (%)
Mortgage status - with second mortgage (%)
Mortgage status - with home equity loan (%)
Mortgage status - with both second mortgage and home equity loan (%)
Mortgage status - without a mortgage (%)
Average family size
Average family size - White
Average family size - Black or African American
Average family size - Asian
Average family size - Hispanic or Latino
Average family size - American Indian and Alaska Native
Average family size - Multirace
Average family size - Other Race
Geographical mobility - Same house 1 year ago (%)
Geographical mobility - Moved within same county (%)
Geographical mobility - Moved from different county within same state (%)
Geographical mobility - Moved from different state (%)
Geographical mobility - Moved from abroad (%)
Place of birth - Born in state of residence (%)
Place of birth - Born in other state (%)
Place of birth - Native, outside of US (%)
Place of birth - Foreign born (%)
Housing units in structures - 1, detached (%)
Housing units in structures - 1, attached (%)
Housing units in structures - 2 (%)
Housing units in structures - 3 or 4 (%)
Housing units in structures - 5 to 9 (%)
Housing units in structures - 10 to 19 (%)
Housing units in structures - 20 to 49 (%)
Housing units in structures - 50 or more (%)
Housing units in structures - Mobile home (%)
Housing units in structures - Boat, RV, van, etc. (%)
House/condo owner moved in on average (years ago)
Renter moved in on average (years ago)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1999 to March 2000 (%)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1995 to 1998 (%)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1990 to 1994 (%)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1980 to 1989 (%)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1970 to 1979 (%)
Year householder moved into unit - Moved in 1969 or earlier (%)
Means of transportation to work - Drove car alone (%)
Means of transportation to work - Carpooled (%)
Means of transportation to work - Public transportation (%)
Means of transportation to work - Bus or trolley bus (%)
Means of transportation to work - Streetcar or trolley car (%)
Means of transportation to work - Subway or elevated (%)
Means of transportation to work - Railroad (%)
Means of transportation to work - Ferryboat (%)
Means of transportation to work - Taxicab (%)
Means of transportation to work - Motorcycle (%)
Means of transportation to work - Bicycle (%)
Means of transportation to work - Walked (%)
Means of transportation to work - Other means (%)
Working at home (%)
Industry diversity
Most Common Industries - Agriculture, forestry, fishing and hunting, and mining (%)
Most Common Industries - Agriculture, forestry, fishing and hunting (%)
Most Common Industries - Mining, quarrying, and oil and gas extraction (%)
Most Common Industries - Construction (%)
Most Common Industries - Manufacturing (%)
Most Common Industries - Wholesale trade (%)
Most Common Industries - Retail trade (%)
Most Common Industries - Transportation and warehousing, and utilities (%)
Most Common Industries - Transportation and warehousing (%)
Most Common Industries - Utilities (%)
Most Common Industries - Information (%)
Most Common Industries - Finance and insurance, and real estate and rental and leasing (%)
Most Common Industries - Finance and insurance (%)
Most Common Industries - Real estate and rental and leasing (%)
Most Common Industries - Professional, scientific, and management, and administrative and waste management services (%)
Most Common Industries - Professional, scientific, and technical services (%)
Most Common Industries - Management of companies and enterprises (%)
Most Common Industries - Administrative and support and waste management services (%)
Most Common Industries - Educational services, and health care and social assistance (%)
Most Common Industries - Educational services (%)
Most Common Industries - Health care and social assistance (%)
Most Common Industries - Arts, entertainment, and recreation, and accommodation and food services (%)
Most Common Industries - Arts, entertainment, and recreation (%)
Most Common Industries - Accommodation and food services (%)
Most Common Industries - Other services, except public administration (%)
Most Common Industries - Public administration (%)
Occupation diversity
Most Common Occupations - Management, business, science, and arts occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Management, business, and financial occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Management occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Business and financial operations occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Computer, engineering, and science occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Computer and mathematical occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Architecture and engineering occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Life, physical, and social science occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Education, legal, community service, arts, and media occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Community and social service occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Legal occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Education, training, and library occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Arts, design, entertainment, sports, and media occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Healthcare practitioners and technical occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Health diagnosing and treating practitioners and other technical occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Health technologists and technicians (%)
Most Common Occupations - Service occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Healthcare support occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Protective service occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Fire fighting and prevention, and other protective service workers including supervisors (%)
Most Common Occupations - Law enforcement workers including supervisors (%)
Most Common Occupations - Food preparation and serving related occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Building and grounds cleaning and maintenance occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Personal care and service occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Sales and office occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Sales and related occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Office and administrative support occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Natural resources, construction, and maintenance occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Farming, fishing, and forestry occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Construction and extraction occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Installation, maintenance, and repair occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Production, transportation, and material moving occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Production occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Transportation occupations (%)
Most Common Occupations - Material moving occupations (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutionalized population (%)
People in Group quarters - Correctional institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Federal prisons and detention centers (%)
People in Group quarters - Halfway houses (%)
People in Group quarters - Local jails and other confinement facilities (including police lockups) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military disciplinary barracks (%)
People in Group quarters - State prisons (%)
People in Group quarters - Other types of correctional institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Nursing homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals/wards, hospices, and schools for the handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals/wards and hospices for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospices or homes for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Military hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Other hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals or wards for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Mental (Psychiatric) hospitals or wards (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the deaf (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the blind (%)
People in Group quarters - Orthopedic wards and institutions for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in general hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in military hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Juvenile institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Long-term care (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for abused, dependent, and neglected children (%)
People in Group quarters - Residential treatment centers for emotionally disturbed children (%)
People in Group quarters - Training schools for juvenile delinquents (%)
People in Group quarters - Short-term care, detention or diagnostic centers for delinquent children (%)
People in Group quarters - Type of juvenile institution unknown (%)
People in Group quarters - Noninstitutionalized population (%)
People in Group quarters - College dormitories (includes college quarters off campus) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - On base (%)
People in Group quarters - Barracks, unaccompanied personnel housing (UPH), (Enlisted/Officer), ;and similar group living quarters for military personnel (%)
People in Group quarters - Transient quarters for temporary residents (%)
People in Group quarters - Military ships (%)
People in Group quarters - Group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes or halfway houses for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Other group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Religious group quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - Dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Agriculture workers' dormitories on farms (%)
People in Group quarters - Job Corps and vocational training facilities (%)
People in Group quarters - Other workers' dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Crews of maritime vessels (%)
People in Group quarters - Other nonhousehold living situations (%)
People in Group quarters - Other noninstitutional group quarters (%)
Residents speaking English at home (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking other language at home (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Foreign born (%)
Class of Workers - Employee of private company (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed in own incorporated business (%)
Class of Workers - Private not-for-profit wage and salary workers (%)
Class of Workers - Local government workers (%)
Class of Workers - State government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Federal government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed workers in own not incorporated business and Unpaid family workers (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - No fuel used (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - No fuel used (%)
Armed forces status - In Armed Forces (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Veteran (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Nonveteran (%)
Fatal accidents locations in years 2005-2021
Fatal accidents locations in 2005
Fatal accidents locations in 2006
Fatal accidents locations in 2007
Fatal accidents locations in 2008
Fatal accidents locations in 2009
Fatal accidents locations in 2010
Fatal accidents locations in 2011
Fatal accidents locations in 2012
Fatal accidents locations in 2013
Fatal accidents locations in 2014
Fatal accidents locations in 2015
Fatal accidents locations in 2016
Fatal accidents locations in 2017
Fatal accidents locations in 2018
Fatal accidents locations in 2019
Fatal accidents locations in 2020
Fatal accidents locations in 2021
Alcohol use - People drinking some alcohol every month (%)
Alcohol use - People not drinking at all (%)
Alcohol use - Average days/month drinking alcohol
Alcohol use - Average drinks/week
Alcohol use - Average days/year people drink much
Audiometry - Average condition of hearing (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear a whisper from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear normal voice from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - Ears ringing, roaring, buzzing (%)
Audiometry - Had a job exposure to loud noise (%)
Audiometry - Had off-work exposure to loud noise (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high blood pressure (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Checking blood pressure at home (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Frequently checking blood cholesterol (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high cholesterol level (%)
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at supermarket/grocery store
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at other stores
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on eating out
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on carryout/delivered foods
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at supermarket/grocery store (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at other stores (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on eating out (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on carryout/delivered foods (%)
Current Health Status - General health condition (%)
Current Health Status - Blood donors (%)
Current Health Status - Has blood ever tested for HIV virus (%)
Current Health Status - Left-handed people (%)
Dermatology - People using sunscreen (%)
Diabetes - Diabetics (%)
Diabetes - Had a blood test for high blood sugar (%)
Diabetes - People taking insulin (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Diet health (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Milk product consumption (# of products/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals not home prepared (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals from fast food or pizza place (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Ready-to-eat foods (#/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Frozen meals/pizza (#/month)
Drug Use - People that ever used marijuana or hashish (%)
Drug Use - Ever used hard drugs (%)
Drug Use - Ever used any form of cocaine (%)
Drug Use - Ever used heroin (%)
Drug Use - Ever used methamphetamine (%)
Health Insurance - People covered by health insurance (%)
Kidney Conditions-Urology - Avg. # of times urinating at night
Medical Conditions - People with asthma (%)
Medical Conditions - People with anemia (%)
Medical Conditions - People with psoriasis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with overweight (%)
Medical Conditions - Elderly people having difficulties in thinking or remembering (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever received blood transfusion (%)
Medical Conditions - People having trouble seeing even with glass/contacts (%)
Medical Conditions - People with arthritis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with gout (%)
Medical Conditions - People with congestive heart failure (%)
Medical Conditions - People with coronary heart disease (%)
Medical Conditions - People with angina pectoris (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had heart attack (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had stroke (%)
Medical Conditions - People with emphysema (%)
Medical Conditions - People with thyroid problem (%)
Medical Conditions - People with chronic bronchitis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with any liver condition (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had cancer or malignancy (%)
Mental Health - People who have little interest in doing things (%)
Mental Health - People feeling down, depressed, or hopeless (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much (%)
Mental Health - People feeling tired or having little energy (%)
Mental Health - People with poor appetite or overeating (%)
Mental Health - People feeling bad about themself (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble concentrating on things (%)
Mental Health - People moving or speaking slowly or too fast (%)
Mental Health - People having thoughts they would be better off dead (%)
Oral Health - Average years since last visit a dentist
Oral Health - People embarrassed because of mouth (%)
Oral Health - People with gum disease (%)
Oral Health - General health of teeth and gums (%)
Oral Health - Average days a week using dental floss/device
Oral Health - Average days a week using mouthwash for dental problem
Oral Health - Average number of teeth
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to control insects (%)
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to kill weeds (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People walking or bicycling (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - Average hours a day doing sedentary activities
Physical Activity - Average hours a day watching TV or videos
Physical Activity - Average hours a day using computer
Physical Functioning - People having limitations keeping them from working (%)
Physical Functioning - People limited in amount of work they can do (%)
Physical Functioning - People that need special equipment to walk (%)
Physical Functioning - People experiencing confusion/memory problems (%)
Physical Functioning - People requiring special healthcare equipment (%)
Prescription Medications - Average number of prescription medicines taking
Preventive Aspirin Use - Adults 40+ taking low-dose aspirin (%)
Reproductive Health - Vaginal deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Cesarean deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Deliveries resulted in a live birth (%)
Reproductive Health - Pregnancies resulted in a delivery (%)
Reproductive Health - Women breastfeeding newborns (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had a hysterectomy (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had both ovaries removed (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever taken birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women taking birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used Depo-Provera or injectables (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used female hormones (%)
Sexual Behavior - People 18+ that ever had sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had anal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had any sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had anal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had any kind of sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first had sex
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female vaginal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a woman (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of woman performed oral sex on in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male anal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a man (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male oral sex partners in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - People using protection when performing oral sex (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of times people have vaginal or anal sex a year
Sexual Behavior - People having sex without condom (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male vaginal sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Circumcised males 18+ (%)
Sleep Disorders - Average hours sleeping at night
Sleep Disorders - People that has trouble sleeping (%)
Smoking-Cigarette Use - People smoking cigarettes (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with smell (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with taste (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had wisdom teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had tonsils teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a loss of consciousness because of a head injury (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a broken nose or other serious injury to face or skull (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had two or more sinus infections (%)
Weight - Average height (inches)
Weight - Average weight (pounds)
Weight - Average BMI
Weight - People that are obese (%)
Weight - People that ever were obese (%)
Weight - People trying to lose weight (%)