[sarahv]

A lot of what I have read is laughable. I don't know where these people get some of the stuff they write! i have lived a lot of places, grew up in AR. And there is no other place I would rather raise my kids. And my marriage IS interracial.

I met more racists and anti-gays while living up North than I ever did while living down south. I have met more closed minded people while living up there too. That includes growing up in AR, and spending summers in Mississippi and Louisiana. No matter where you go you will find stupidity. Unfortunately it is one thing that cannot be fixed. So on that note.....

Take a couple weeks, go visit the area you are looking into and get a feel for the area and community. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. Not me, and not anyone else who has responded. But I don't think it would be a bad decision to move there.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by Luv4ThePaws

"Southern hospitality" is a myth. People are kind of standoffish to "outsiders." They also have short tempers. Though I will say Southerners believe in "doing the right thing." They like to help their neighbor in need, I guess, and all that stuff.

But if you are gay, non-white, liberal, well, people tend to not treat them so well. Not to say they are going to spit on you or any of that stuff. They will just have a negative opinion of you probably.

Justsomeguy is right. I moved to NC from CA and there is no Southern hospitality. I was really wrong to think that Charlotte would be in any way progressive. There are no genteel manners and hospitality that you see in the movies. The guy (gay) who lived next door to us moved down from NY to retire and recently put his house on the market after barely being here a year due to hostility in the area. Even in our multi-racial neighborhood full of transplants, many people have a backwoods attitude and would rather have a non-white neighbor than a gay neighbor, however straight white people are their preference. We are considering adopting an orphan from Ethiopia (4.5 million orphans in that tragic country alone) and even that has been met with hostility by some people as racism is so prevalent still. Many people here in the bible belt just don't "get" why we would choose to adopt an African child instead of having our own kids. Anyone trying to sugar coat it or say race and sexual orientation doesn't matter in the South is lying! Try a more liberal area like Austin or, if you want land, some of the more progressive Midwestern towns like Iowa City or parts of Wisconsin. How about upstate NY? Maine? There are lots of small, progressive towns in New England that also provide the rural life. You seem like such nice people and what you are doing for your children is lovely. There are way too many kids needing homes in the world.

Have you lived in Eurkea Springs, Hot Springs or Fayetteville? If you haven't I don't think you have a good overview of these towns..

I can understand why your thinking of adopting a child from Ethiopia may be viewed in a different way. This seems to be the treandy thing to do right now, which is fine, but what about all the racially mixed and black children here in our own country that do not have families...why not adopt one of them or a child from Mexico or central America?? Why Africa?

Nita

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by justsomeguy

Everyone, keep in mind the OP is looking to get away from an urban environment and wants to live on a large lot of land, so recommendations for cities like Atlanta and Denver aren't very useful.

The truth of the matter is probably just about any smaller, rural town probably will not be very welcoming to his situation regardless of where in America it is, which compounds his problem. Though possible exceptions on the Left Coast and New England area but they are expensive. Iowa and those upper midwest states might work also. But Arkansas is in the buckle of the Bible Belt so probably a bad choice, though there may be some towns somewhere in AR that would work.

Someone recommended Hot Springs earlier - I am from Hot Springs originally and while it is probably more progressive/artsy than a lot of Arkansas towns, there are still a lot of backwards a$$ people there and I wouldn't really recommend it. I remember black kids getting beat up at my high school just because they were black - and this was in the 1990's, not the 1960's.

Ufortunately racism is everywhere, and I am sure it exists in places like Hot Springs, but you are talking about 10 or more years ago (1990) every year people become more accpeting of change and life styles. I think what happened then and now could be a little different.

Nita

[needing more]

Ben,
We were looking into moving to AR too from MI but also seem to really like Idaho too.. They seem a little less conservative up there and more open to interacial families and being gay. The land is still cheap and can get quite a lot for probably a better price then AR. Yes it is farther then AR and more of an actual winter but boy is it ever beautiful!!!!! Check out the postings on here for ID, You'd be surprised, as I was
Good luck on your search!!

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by needing more

Ben,
We were looking into moving to AR too from MI but also seem to really like Idaho too.. They seem a little less conservative up there and more open to interacial families and being gay. The land is still cheap and can get quite a lot for probably a better price then AR. Yes it is farther then AR and more of an actual winter but boy is it ever beautiful!!!!! Check out the postings on here for ID, You'd be surprised, as I was
Good luck on your search!!

I think I would check out your feelings aoout Idaho versus AR very closely. Idaho happens to be one of the most conservtive states in the country behind Utah...

The thing that is very hard, for many, is trying to decide based on postings on forums like this. You get a certain cross section but remember only a very small % of people ever post on these forums..

Nita

[leorah]

MOD NOTE:
Please keep the discussion on topic. The OP did not ask for comments on his lifestyle, parenting ability or eligibility, or speculation on whether being gay is a choice. Such comments are not appropriate for this thread or this forum.

Thank you.

[bluenoter]

Originally Posted by benGinTx

Hello, I have some questions about a potential move to Arkansas. We are a white, gay male couple in our early and mid thirties. We are in the process of adopting three African American children from the foster care system, and we are thinking about moving to Arkansas...Are we crazy to even consider it? I know there are plenty of places (as there are here in Texas) where we would, sadly, be asking for trouble by moving in to town, but I don't know if maybe there are some towns that would be, ideally accepting, but at minimum tolerant of our family. I've heard Eureka Springs mentioned several times as being gay tolerant, but how about the extra dimension thrown in of a gay couple raising African American children? Our main concern is of course for the children. We will need teachers that are willing to work with us, and we would like to know that the boys would be accepted.

Why Arkansas? Well, it is beautiful for one, and offers plenty of active, outdoor activities which we all enjoy. We want to raise our children in a smaller town surrounded by beauty with hopefully fewer opportunities to get themselves into the kind of trouble so easily accessible in an urban environment (we do realize that crime exists everywhere). We will be buying at least 5 acres, and will probably have a few farm animals as "pets". These guys have some healing to do, and we want to create an environment that would best facilitate that healing.

Any thoughts/recommendations?

Thanks much!

Come on down!!!

[needing more]

Nina-
I would consider MI to be middle ground or maybe even a little to the left... From what I've read "Parts" of ID are way more left then what I have scene in MI. Some of the larger cities are more open to things outside the box. I understand there is a large Mormon population there but outside of that population things seem to be pretty normal (middle ground). There are quite a few college towns with a young population and that usually means more open to people of all kinds. I have a friend that lives in CDA, in northern ID and is mixed race and is pagan too and loves it there with never hearing of any problem there..

I do understand that there is hatred in every town/state... Some states (& towns for that matter) seem to be a little more open minded then others.

Its just a suggestion to Ben that there are other places besides AR more open to their situation where they can still get good safe upbringing for the children and cheaper land.

[Kandy]

I don't live in Arkansas, but I wanted to wish you and your new family the very best. I hope you find a wonderful and accepting place to live. I think it's sad that you even need to worry about such a thing as being accepted. I can't believe that people would even care.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by needing more

Nina-
I would consider MI to be middle ground or maybe even a little to the left... From what I've read "Parts" of ID are way more left then what I have scene in MI. Some of the larger cities are more open to things outside the box. I understand there is a large Mormon population there but outside of that population things seem to be pretty normal (middle ground). There are quite a few college towns with a young population and that usually means more open to people of all kinds. I have a friend that lives in CDA, in northern ID and is mixed race and is pagan too and loves it there with never hearing of any problem there..

I do understand that there is hatred in every town/state... Some states (& towns for that matter) seem to be a little more open minded then others.

Its just a suggestion to Ben that there are other places besides AR more open to their situation where they can still get good safe upbringing for the children and cheaper land.

I understand what you were saying and yes, there are many states he could consider other than AR, but no matter what you have read, Id is as far to the right as you can get. If you think they are further left than MI you are way off base. First of all there are just a handful of universties there and they certainly are among the most conservative of all schools and yes, the Morman population is very strong.. It is vital that we all understand, not all colleges or towns with a young population spell liberal..There may be a small Pagan influence, that I do not know, but you won't find much of that in Id or Ar.

I do think we are getting off subject now Moderator cut: no comments on moderation Maybe a new thread may be more better.

Nita