[benGinTx]

Hello, I have some questions about a potential move to Arkansas. We are a white, gay male couple in our early and mid thirties. We are in the process of adopting three African American children from the foster care system, and we are thinking about moving to Arkansas...Are we crazy to even consider it? I know there are plenty of places (as there are here in Texas) where we would, sadly, be asking for trouble by moving in to town, but I don't know if maybe there are some towns that would be, ideally accepting, but at minimum tolerant of our family. I've heard Eureka Springs mentioned several times as being gay tolerant, but how about the extra dimension thrown in of a gay couple raising African American children? Our main concern is of course for the children. We will need teachers that are willing to work with us, and we would like to know that the boys would be accepted.

Why Arkansas? Well, it is beautiful for one, and offers plenty of active, outdoor activities which we all enjoy. We want to raise our children in a smaller town surrounded by beauty with hopefully fewer opportunities to get themselves into the kind of trouble so easily accessible in an urban environment (we do realize that crime exists everywhere). We will be buying at least 5 acres, and will probably have a few farm animals as "pets". These guys have some healing to do, and we want to create an environment that would best facilitate that healing.

Any thoughts/recommendations?

Thanks much!

[grmasterb]

I'll leave it to those who still live in Arkansas to respond, but you can search the threads and see that the topics of interracial families and being gay in Arkansas have been addressed. Beaten to death, IMO. I wish you well.

[nature's message]

You'd be better off in Atlanta, Columbus, Houston, and pretty much anywhere away from Arkansas.

[SurfOmaha]

Yeah, try Omaha, or Iowa!

[needing more]

I have read the other posts about being gay or interracial and seem to find the last few offensive. All the other posts seem to let people know that yes, this is still the south.. and granted you can find hatred anywhere in any city or town but that there wasnt an issue with it in Arkansas. Some towns might be more open to it and have gay friendly activities and such but does that mean its not welcomed?? That they should have to go elsewhere?? I am taken back by this and kinda offended by it.

Now granted I DONT live in Arkansas, BUT I have been reading the AR posts for several months now since I am considering moving there. And have yet to read any posts where anyone of any sexual preference or race was told to move somewhere else... Part of our family is gay and I would take offense to this suggestion. Maybe I should re-think moving to AR... Thought everyone was so friendly??

benGinTx- I commend you for thinking of helping these young ones, especially in this hard economy. If only there were more people out there willing to help another regardless of sex, color or race. Good for you!

[bchris02]

Originally Posted by nature's message

You'd be better off in Atlanta, Columbus, Houston, and pretty much anywhere away from Arkansas.

I agree. Eureka Springs is pretty gay friendly and to an extent Fayetteville, but the rest of the state is still very hostile towards gays. I would say Arkansas is probably the all around worst state in the US to live in if you are gay or lesbian. I hate that its this way but its just how it is. There are some gay people who make it work, but its not easy. Its something you are going to have to decide for yourself. If you do move to Arkansas, stay in Eureka Springs, Fayetteville, or parts of Little Rock (Hillcrest/Heights/Quapaw Quarter). Outside of those areas, you need to remain very discreet for your own personal safety.

It is currently illegal for gay people to adopt children in Arkansas. Not sure how the law works for people who move here from out of state however.

Most gay teens who grow up in Arkansas end up in Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville, etc.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by benGinTx

Hello, I have some questions about a potential move to Arkansas. We are a white, gay male couple in our early and mid thirties. We are in the process of adopting three African American children from the foster care system, and we are thinking about moving to Arkansas...Are we crazy to even consider it? I know there are plenty of places (as there are here in Texas) where we would, sadly, be asking for trouble by moving in to town, but I don't know if maybe there are some towns that would be, ideally accepting, but at minimum tolerant of our family. I've heard Eureka Springs mentioned several times as being gay tolerant, but how about the extra dimension thrown in of a gay couple raising African American children? Our main concern is of course for the children. We will need teachers that are willing to work with us, and we would like to know that the boys would be accepted.

Why Arkansas? Well, it is beautiful for one, and offers plenty of active, outdoor activities which we all enjoy. We want to raise our children in a smaller town surrounded by beauty with hopefully fewer opportunities to get themselves into the kind of trouble so easily accessible in an urban environment (we do realize that crime exists everywhere). We will be buying at least 5 acres, and will probably have a few farm animals as "pets". These guys have some healing to do, and we want to create an environment that would best facilitate that healing.

Any thoughts/recommendations?

Thanks much!

Ben, many of us would love to have you here, but don't even think about it right now, maybe a few years from now. A law or as it is called in AR, an article was passed in the last election regarding anyone living together, and not married could not adopt kids. I am sure, if you adopted them prior to arrival you would have no problems, but to be on the safe side, let's see if it comes up again next year and the article is reversed..I honestly believe, with the right comapaign it can be changed. The wording last time was very confusing, it appeared that if you voted yes, you were voting no..

Eurkeka Springs and Hot Springs would be two towns that would be perfect for you, maybe even Fayetteville..

Nita

[justsomeguy]

As others have said, I would advise against it. You pretty much already have 3 strikes against you (from the viewpoint of the conservative Bible Belt South): a) you are in a gay relationship, b) you are in a gay relationship and want to raise children, c) your family will be part African-American.

I suppose if you live in TX you should already be aware of this kind of hostility as opposed to if you were coming from CA or MA somewhere. People probably are not going to be friendly towards you and will cast disparaging remarks and looks at you most likely. Have you seen the movie Sling Blade? That movie was filmed in Benton, Arkansas. There is a gay character in the film (played by John Ritter) who is not treated very kindly. That's probably about how it would be for you living in a small Arkansas town. Sorry that you'd have to deal with that.

Try the West Coast maybe. Anywhere but the Bible Belt and the South.

Originally Posted by benGinTx

Hello, I have some questions about a potential move to Arkansas. We are a white, gay male couple in our early and mid thirties. We are in the process of adopting three African American children from the foster care system, and we are thinking about moving to Arkansas...Are we crazy to even consider it? I know there are plenty of places (as there are here in Texas) where we would, sadly, be asking for trouble by moving in to town, but I don't know if maybe there are some towns that would be, ideally accepting, but at minimum tolerant of our family. I've heard Eureka Springs mentioned several times as being gay tolerant, but how about the extra dimension thrown in of a gay couple raising African American children? Our main concern is of course for the children. We will need teachers that are willing to work with us, and we would like to know that the boys would be accepted.

Why Arkansas? Well, it is beautiful for one, and offers plenty of active, outdoor activities which we all enjoy. We want to raise our children in a smaller town surrounded by beauty with hopefully fewer opportunities to get themselves into the kind of trouble so easily accessible in an urban environment (we do realize that crime exists everywhere). We will be buying at least 5 acres, and will probably have a few farm animals as "pets". These guys have some healing to do, and we want to create an environment that would best facilitate that healing.

Any thoughts/recommendations?

Thanks much!

[justsomeguy]

"Southern hospitality" is a myth. People are kind of standoffish to "outsiders." They also have short tempers. Though I will say Southerners believe in "doing the right thing." They like to help their neighbor in need, I guess, and all that stuff.

But if you are gay, non-white, liberal, well, people tend to not treat them so well. Not to say they are going to spit on you or any of that stuff. They will just have a negative opinion of you probably.

Originally Posted by needing more

I have read the other posts about being gay or interracial and seem to find the last few offensive. All the other posts seem to let people know that yes, this is still the south.. and granted you can find hatred anywhere in any city or town but that there wasnt an issue with it in Arkansas. Some towns might be more open to it and have gay friendly activities and such but does that mean its not welcomed?? That they should have to go elsewhere?? I am taken back by this and kinda offended by it.

Now granted I DONT live in Arkansas, BUT I have been reading the AR posts for several months now since I am considering moving there. And have yet to read any posts where anyone of any sexual preference or race was told to move somewhere else... Part of our family is gay and I would take offense to this suggestion. Maybe I should re-think moving to AR... Thought everyone was so friendly??

benGinTx- I commend you for thinking of helping these young ones, especially in this hard economy. If only there were more people out there willing to help another regardless of sex, color or race. Good for you!

[bchris02]

Originally Posted by justsomeguy

But if you are gay, non-white, liberal, well, people tend to not treat them so well. Not to say they are going to spit on you or any of that stuff. They will just have a negative opinion of you probably.

Agree, and depending on your age, some of them might spit on you. Its very possible you could have your house or car vandalized also. Live your life here as if it was 1955, because intelectually and culturally, it is.