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Old 09-09-2012, 10:59 AM
 
640 posts, read 1,087,256 times
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Here in america women have been poisoned with feminism. Out in the philippines there's a little role reversal going on. If he wants to go, that's his choice. I believe him about women here.

 
Old 09-09-2012, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 5,670,902 times
Reputation: 3593
Poisoned with feminism? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Wow.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,438,247 times
Reputation: 2872
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Okay, okay, I've been thinking about this and yes it's does sound all a bit too much too soon. I'm going through some stressful times and maybe I'm not thinking clearly enough. I'm not going to get married in a hurry, I won't try the 90 day visa just yet. I would still like to go to the Philippines if anything at least to explore a new country. I'll stay in contact with this girl and continue to chat with her and find out more about her.

Although what I said about American women I still believe is true. Women in this county have become cold, shallow, cunning, and promiscuous. I'm tired of the radical feminist movement, in most relationships in the US the woman wears the pants. They control everything with an Iron fist, dictating everything. Even in many tv shows and commercials men are portrayed as weak and stupid .

I just wanted to be treated with respect for once by a respectful women who appreciates her man.
It is not a 90 day visa, it is called a fiancee visa. 90 days is the time once she arrives in which you must get married and getting that visa will take 6 months to a year once you apply for it with all necessary paperwork which will include a (Philippine) National Bureau of Investigates background check on her and proof she has never been married before, as well as her having to take a class which is basically what to do if the guy turns out to be a jerk. I can tell you now that the process is not a simple one, so do not waste her time or yours unless you are willing to jump through all the hoops the US and Philippines system will make you do to bring her to the US.

Marrying someone from another culture takes patience and understanding. There will be cultural differences as well as some language barriers. Slang is not known everywhere there and many even educated Filipinos are taught English by other Filipinos who often have a Filipino accent, so often words will not sound the same. Also often things we take for granted such as working some appliances may not be something some people there have had to deal with. Even lamps there usually have an on off switch on the cord and not near the bulb.

By all means go over and visit. Keep in touch with her and chat as much as possible face to face on skype or yahoo messenger and find out as much about her and her family as you can and tell her that you wish to meet her and explore her area of the Philippines but do not promise a permanent relationship of any kind. Tell her it takes time to get to know each other and that she will have to make sure she would be happy with you, just as you will have to make sure there is a connection with her. Oh and someone saying yes does not always mean yes since many Filipinos I have met in the Philippines will answer yes even if they do not understand what you said, it is sort of keeping face to them, so make sure she understands something and tell her you will not be upset if she asks for clarification on something rather than just agreeing to something she did not really understand.

Know that meeting the parents is often a first step toward marriage, so if you do go meet her parents then be sure to be up front about just being friends until such time and things change. In some provinces areas even holding hands can be an issue and a lady must have a chaperon with you two when out and about in public, ask her what will be expected. I have seen guys sitting in restaurants with the lady they just met and with a whole family of chaperons, do not let that happen to you unless you are rich and do not mind being taken advantage of but one or two may be required for her to save face in her families eyes. Once most modern families know you will not harm their daughter or sister then they will usually leave you alone. Also if she works in the city and her family is in the province then what I just wrote may only apply during the time in the province, or if they all live in the modern city then possibly not at all.

In my opinion it will be hard to not fall in love with her if she turns out to be a good woman but go slow and steady and do not rush into anything.

Right now a US Citizen can stay in the Philippines for up to 21 days without a visa, that may change to 30 days which was promised in February but has not gone into law yet. You can get a longer visa for multiple entry by filing out a form, paying the fee and mailing your passport, the application and photos and a prepaid return postage device to the Philippine embassy closest to your state, or you can get a 59 day extension visa once you arrive and before your 21 days expires at the local BI office.

You cannot go on a one way ticket and must have a ticket for return or onward dated within the 21 days in case the airline bothers to check it before leaving. Earlier this year Delta almost did not allow me on a flight because my ticket was for 4 months and not 21 days even though I had traveled with them and their partner Koran Air every year for years and my passport had many stamps showing our yearly 4 month stays, so I had to prove the law to them by giving them a copy that says being married to a former Philippines citizen that I was allowed to stay a year at a time. So if you are going to stay over 21 days then get a ticket that you can change the return date on, or get a one way ticket and buy a throw away onward ticket to a country close by to fulfill the required onward or return ticket within the 21 day rule.

Oh and if you have any serious criminal record then do not even bother going over because you will quite possibly be sent back upon arrival at the airport Bureau of Immigration check point since their computers are slowly being hooked into Interpol.

I am not trying to discourage you but I want you and others to know what you or they might be in for. Many people do what you are thinking about doing and manage with no problems at all but some people think they can just go over and take their lady back with them, NOT going to happen.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 5,670,902 times
Reputation: 3593
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Okay, okay, I've been thinking about this and yes it's does sound all a bit too much too soon. I'm going through some stressful times and maybe I'm not thinking clearly enough. I'm not going to get married in a hurry, I won't try the 90 day visa just yet. I would still like to go to the Philippines if anything at least to explore a new country. I'll stay in contact with this girl and continue to chat with her and find out more about her.

Although what I said about American women I still believe is true. Women in this county have become cold, shallow, cunning, and promiscuous. I'm tired of the radical feminist movement, in most relationships in the US the woman wears the pants. They control everything with an Iron fist, dictating everything. Even in many tv shows and commercials men are portrayed as weak and stupid .

I just wanted to be treated with respect for once by a respectful women who appreciates her man.
I'm glad to hear you're not going to rush into anything.

However, what you say about American women can also be said about American men. Men in this country are cold, shallow, and promiscuous. Seriously. If a woman isn't a size zero and drop dead gorgeous, they're called fat and ugly. Society dictates that women be nothing but skin and bones, or they're not worthwhile.

When I was in my 20s, had a killer rack and was maybe 20 pounds overweight, the guy I had dated for TWO YEARS told me, "If you would just lose weight, I could fall in love with you." That is a direct quote.

And this "radical feminist movement" you're referring to? It's merely women fighting for their rights, which many men are fighting to take away. I'm sure you'd love to go back to the "good old days" when women were forced to stay in abusive relationships, because they had no other options.

No woman I know controls everything in their relationship, nor do they want to. I certainly don't control everything, and don't want to. My husband and I communicate, and make decisions together. It's all about mutual respect.

Please. Everything you say about women just radiates so much disrespect for women. If you want love and respect, you have to give it first. With this attitude towards women, you will get neither.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 02:51 PM
 
640 posts, read 1,087,256 times
Reputation: 517
Nice strawman. You say men are shallow because they go by looks but what about women who say that a man needs to have a job to support her, and if he doesn't have a job he is weak and inferior and shouldn't be dating. I don't see women being told they need a job and "security" to get a man.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 5,670,902 times
Reputation: 3593
Are you referring to me? Because no, I don't feel that way. I've dated unemployed men. I lived with a guy for a year who wasn't bringing home a paycheck; I paid for everything - rent, utilities, food, gas, entertainment, you name it. I also cooked all the meals and cleaned the house. However, that wasn't the reason I left. I left because he treated me like **** - such as standing me up on my birthday and staying out until 4:00 in the morning, insulting me in front of friends and strangers, I could go on. He was nine years older than me (I was 24 at the time), and he loved to tell me that when I got older, he would trade me in on a younger model. He wasn't kidding.

I dated another guy who also didn't work. He also had an alcohol problem, and frequently stood me up, and cheated on me.

Let's see now, then there's the guy I dated a few times who then hit on my best friend. And the one who I found out later was married. Then of course, the one I originally referred to, who told me he could only love me if I lost 20 pounds.

So don't EVEN try to tell me how all American women are horrible. There are just as many horrible men out there, too. It's a good thing I didn't let my past experiences color my opinion of the entire male population, or I wouldn't have met the great man I married.

And yes, I do have to work. I do not want, nor do I expect, him to support me. In fact, I moved halfway across the country to marry him, which meant leaving a job I loved. It took me six months to find work here, and I absolutely hated the fact that he had to pay my bills. I never want to have to depend on anyone for financial support.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 03:40 PM
 
3,644 posts, read 9,003,989 times
Reputation: 1798
Quote:
Originally Posted by silenthelpreturns View Post
Here in america women have been poisoned with feminism. Out in the philippines there's a little role reversal going on. If he wants to go, that's his choice. I believe him about women here.
actually the Philippines is traditionally a matriarchal society. Women make a lot of the decisions. A Filipina will do what she wants, so the guy will be surprised if his wife isn't submissive
 
Old 09-09-2012, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Macao
15,945 posts, read 36,169,523 times
Reputation: 9483
Regarding women.

I was just recently back home in Michigan (northern midwest), and saw a ton of just very normal woman everywhere. The kinds that get married, raise their kids, work hard at a job, and just all around good people.

The 'other' type of women mentioned..the kind marrying to divorce a person to get their money, or with bad intentions against men. Do they really have much presense outside of fictional TV and media construction? I mean, they might if they are living in L.A. or Miami for a spell....and highly influenced from TV. But isn't that more a TV thing (and just a few stray cannons), than a reality among all women all across the country?

Seems to me that the mass majority of women across the United States are just living their lives, maybe go to college, look for work, try to find a good guy to have kids with. I don't see them being much more complicated than that.

I think where things get complicated is there a huge 'must get laid' culture mindset among men these days. They get so obsessed about that, it makes women more standoffish. I've found that there are many great American women out there, but most are highly suspect about a guy's intentions because of the dating culture.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 5,670,902 times
Reputation: 3593
I wish I could give you reps, Tiger Beer, but I gave you one on an earlier post.
 
Old 09-09-2012, 08:24 PM
 
440 posts, read 1,323,867 times
Reputation: 321
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire_F View Post
I'm glad to hear you're not going to rush into anything.

However, what you say about American women can also be said about American men. Men in this country are cold, shallow, and promiscuous. Seriously. If a woman isn't a size zero and drop dead gorgeous, they're called fat and ugly. Society dictates that women be nothing but skin and bones, or they're not worthwhile.

When I was in my 20s, had a killer rack and was maybe 20 pounds overweight, the guy I had dated for TWO YEARS told me, "If you would just lose weight, I could fall in love with you." That is a direct quote.

And this "radical feminist movement" you're referring to? It's merely women fighting for their rights, which many men are fighting to take away. I'm sure you'd love to go back to the "good old days" when women were forced to stay in abusive relationships, because they had no other options.

No woman I know controls everything in their relationship, nor do they want to. I certainly don't control everything, and don't want to. My husband and I communicate, and make decisions together. It's all about mutual respect.

Please. Everything you say about women just radiates so much disrespect for women. If you want love and respect, you have to give it first. With this attitude towards women, you will get neither.
Yes I know there's terrible men in the US, which reminds me of another thing that annoys me about American women. Many American women would rather be with a complete @ss hole than be with a nice normal guy. I never got that one, it's these type of women that will only date @ss holes and would rather die than date a normal nice guy.

As far as feminism, I'm not talking about taking away any women's rights. I'm talking about the modern day women that emulates today's pop culture. I'm talking about the women that are into living the "Sex in The City" lifestyle. Woman have in the US have become over sexual, just look around, girls gone wild, desperate housewives, Real housewives of Orange County, 50 shades of gray the whole "Cougar" thing. You can't even get through the check out stand at a supermarket without noticing this slutty magazine called Cosmopolitan.

Don't get me started on the materialistic nature that goes on today, you should see this show on CNBC called Princess. What I'm saying is I don't need a prude but for crying out loud what ever happened to being a lady.

And don't me statrted
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