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Old 09-12-2012, 07:07 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,437,047 times
Reputation: 2872

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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I'll be totally blunt. What will happen is that once you bring back the woman from the Philippines, Thailand or Russia, she will Americanize in no time to make up for lost time. She will overcompensate for the fact that she knows she's not American and become just as shallow and materialistic as the ones you want to avoid, trying to compete with them. And, then, you are stuck with someone with whom you don't have much in common, the expensive phone bills, listening to her funky accent, and the airfares to the Philippines to see her family, since they are very clannish.

Didn't you remember on the news where that guy from NJ met a woman in Brazil, had one child with her, and then there was a media blitz over the court drama of what country this kid would live in, despite the fact that his young mother had died from cancer? You can assume that a Brazilian woman is probably more attractive than what you'll find in the Philippines but, still, it can be a mess. DON'T do it.
You are wrong when referring to the Philippines, I cannot speak for other countries, but I can tell you that you are wrong about the Philippines from being married to a Filipina myself for over 18 years and because I know of many western men in the same situation as myself but yes some marriages do fail.

I will say that the woman will become more worldly but that does not mean they will become Americanized. If a man finds a good woman who already has good values instilled in her, then they should not change, but if he finds one with a propensity to change, then she might. One way I have found is to try to find a mature lady who has a steady job and knows the value of having to work hard for money.

As to the American women who bash men who seek women from outside the country or cannot understand why men seek women from outside the country, I have found that with them having grown up in the US, that they will never understand no matter how much any of us try to explain it to them, so telling them to look at themselves will unfortunately not work. There are many great ladies who grew up in the US, so none of us should put all American women in the same bad light.

 
Old 09-12-2012, 08:36 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,608,889 times
Reputation: 8780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Lee View Post
You are wrong when referring to the Philippines, I cannot speak for other countries, but I can tell you that you are wrong about the Philippines from being married to a Filipina myself for over 18 years and because I know of many western men in the same situation as myself but yes some marriages do fail.
Are you Caucasian? Did you deliberately seek out a Filipina? Most of these threads are authored by men who think they are going to strike gold in a country where women supposedly swoon over a Nordic-Aryan prince. I tried the on-line dating thing about 3x when they kept pestering me with specials, and I NEVER responded to a woman who wasn't of European stock whose inquiry was coming from out of the country. No way.
 
Old 09-13-2012, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,437,047 times
Reputation: 2872
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Are you Caucasian? Did you deliberately seek out a Filipina? Most of these threads are authored by men who think they are going to strike gold in a country where women supposedly swoon over a Nordic-Aryan prince. I tried the on-line dating thing about 3x when they kept pestering me with specials, and I NEVER responded to a woman who wasn't of European stock whose inquiry was coming from out of the country. No way.
Yes I am Caucasian. Yes I deliberately sought out a Filipina as a friend first and because it was my intention to move to the Philippines but things got in the way and I decided instead that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her anywhere we happened to be.

We each have different tastes in life, so your taste or my taste, will just be two of many tastes and one size will not fit all. I had dated women from quite a few different cultures during my early years and then again when I was single in my 40's and found that many ladies from the Philippines made wonderful wives and I can highly recommend some but not all of them to others but still there are scammers out there and maybe one out of many might make a good wife. Not every Filipina will make a good wife, just as not every American or whatever other race would. In fact there are even girlyboys who work the internet trying to scam men out of money, so IMO never send any real money until meeting.

People need to realize that many parts of the Philippines now have cable TV, so people who live in the cities might basically have a better idea of what life in the US and elsewhere might be like as well as possibly being tainted by programs such as sex in the city, so one has to do the same as they would have to do back home, weed out those who they feel would not make a good partner for them and hope that person would feel the same about them.

Too many guys go for just outer beauty and it is inner beauty that is the most important but I have found that in the Philippines one most often can have their cake and eat it too, by getting inner and outer beauty in a wife. One thing that stands out is that the majority of ladies in the Philippines are smaller and slimmer than many ladies in the US, so if a man likes that type of woman, then they will have many more to try to work with than in the US where it seems men and women have grown in size vertically and horizontally. So it is all about what a person seeks in a wife. Many men like larger ladies and others like petite ladies. To each his own.

One major thing that I have found is that many of the women in the Philippines will most often adjust/mold to their husbands lives, and way of life. I have seen this in many married couples.

I have found that in the US a man marries a woman hoping she will not change and she very often does and a woman marries a man hoping she can mold him to what she wants and he most often will not.

Whatever the case no one should think that just because a woman comes from anywhere that she will make a perfect wife but IMHO and from personal experience chances are greater with ladies from the Philippines.
 
Old 09-13-2012, 07:13 PM
 
630 posts, read 653,370 times
Reputation: 364
Your thinking is perfectly clear. Do not let others convince you that the reality you live in is not the reality you live in. Dont let them scare you off with the mail order bride stigma or allow them to label you a looser.



I went to manila after chatting with my wife for a couple of months, proposed to her and brought her here on a Fiance visa and we married on day 90. That was 10 years ago, we have two beautiful children, she is the love of my life and I wouldnt change a thing about how i went about it.

And thats just for starters, she is an absolute angel exactly what you cannot find in the US with a feminist political bent. Dont get me wrong, there are alot of great American women, my mother and sisters are AW but after a certain age if you havent settled down the pickens are dreck. Most of the girls who make good wives here are snapped up sometime in college and if you dont get locked in by then I believe your chances of finding a decent partner are greatly diminished. And who ever said that Michigan was some sort of Midwest haven of great AW didnt live in the part of the state i did. I walked alone for years because of the same reasons given by the OP. I was hard working decent looking owned two freakin homes out right and i could not find a women who wasnt a drunk, psycho or looking for a Physician. My last AWGF left me for an Engineer after 5 years of what seemed to be a great relationship. She just couldnt resist the big house, new car and disposable income he offered

Then I got online and it just got worse, with the lying, old photos and expectations. Talk about a knight in shining armor it isnt the Filipinas who are looking for the prince its the psychos in this country with their entitled attitudes.

My wife made a yahoo profile from her office in Manila and lucky for me she chose a zip code that ended up in my search range. She told me right away what the deal was and and I was absolutely taken with her Grace, manners and the loving care and concern with which she handled our correspondence. Absolutely night and day with what I was chatting with here in the US.

like you I was a little taken aback by the process of meeting and marrying her but my gut feeling was right on. i read all this stuff on line at the various sites about how to go about courting a foreign woman but in the end I went with my gut. i threw all caution to the wind, flew to Manila, met her and prceeded with the Fiance visa.
Im glad i did because not only do i have a lovely wife and two beautiful children but since shes arrived she graduated Summa *** laude from a near by University gotten her CPA and is now making double what I make.

If I were you I'd get on the plane tommorow and go check out this girl your chatting with. There is the possiblity she is a scammer or a green card shark. The only thing I can tell you about that is go with your gut. It sounds to me like you sense this is a good woman and if she is you have struck gold. As long as you dont let your little head do the thinking for the big head you will probably be OK. And you dont have to jump into a marriage with this woman if you dont feel comfortable the PIs are full of beautiful loving women looking for a guy like you.

I can direct you to sites with attorneys(also married to Filipinas) who will walk you through the process of filing the different paper work involved with the visa. Its alot of paper work but anyone who can read and write and fill out a form can do it.

The one rule of thumb that I would adhere to is if your intended asks for money that should be a major red flag and move on. Aside from that Keep chatting with her and start pricing flights I'd leave tommorow if I were you






Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Okay, okay, I've been thinking about this and yes it's does sound all a bit too much too soon. I'm going through some stressful times and maybe I'm not thinking clearly enough. I'm not going to get married in a hurry, I won't try the 90 day visa just yet. I would still like to go to the Philippines if anything at least to explore a new country. I'll stay in contact with this girl and continue to chat with her and find out more about her.

Although what I said about American women I still believe is true. Women in this county have become cold, shallow, cunning, and promiscuous. I'm tired of the radical feminist movement, in most relationships in the US the woman wears the pants. They control everything with an Iron fist, dictating everything. Even in many tv shows and commercials men are portrayed as weak and stupid .

I just wanted to be treated with respect for once by a respectful women who appreciates her man.

Last edited by unicane; 09-13-2012 at 08:35 PM..
 
Old 09-13-2012, 09:43 PM
 
440 posts, read 1,323,255 times
Reputation: 321
Quote:
Originally Posted by unicane View Post
Your thinking is perfectly clear. Do not let others convince you that the reality you live in is not the reality you live in. Dont let them scare you off with the mail order bride stigma or allow them to label you a looser.



I went to manila after chatting with my wife for a couple of months, proposed to her and brought her here on a Fiance visa and we married on day 90. That was 10 years ago, we have two beautiful children, she is the love of my life and I wouldnt change a thing about how i went about it.

And thats just for starters, she is an absolute angel exactly what you cannot find in the US with a feminist political bent. Dont get me wrong, there are alot of great American women, my mother and sisters are AW but after a certain age if you havent settled down the pickens are dreck. Most of the girls who make good wives here are snapped up sometime in college and if you dont get locked in by then I believe your chances of finding a decent partner are greatly diminished. And who ever said that Michigan was some sort of Midwest haven of great AW didnt live in the part of the state i did. I walked alone for years because of the same reasons given by the OP. I was hard working decent looking owned two freakin homes out right and i could not find a women who wasnt a drunk, psycho or looking for a Physician. My last AWGF left me for an Engineer after 5 years of what seemed to be a great relationship. She just couldnt resist the big house, new car and disposable income he offered

Then I got online and it just got worse, with the lying, old photos and expectations. Talk about a knight in shining armor it isnt the Filipinas who are looking for the prince its the psychos in this country with their entitled attitudes.

My wife made a yahoo profile from her office in Manila and lucky for me she chose a zip code that ended up in my search range. She told me right away what the deal was and and I was absolutely taken with her Grace, manners and the loving care and concern with which she handled our correspondence. Absolutely night and day with what I was chatting with here in the US.

like you I was a little taken aback by the process of meeting and marrying her but my gut feeling was right on. i read all this stuff on line at the various sites about how to go about courting a foreign woman but in the end I went with my gut. i threw all caution to the wind, flew to Manila, met her and prceeded with the Fiance visa.
Im glad i did because not only do i have a lovely wife and two beautiful children but since shes arrived she graduated Summa *** laude from a near by University gotten her CPA and is now making double what I make.

If I were you I'd get on the plane tommorow and go check out this girl your chatting with. There is the possiblity she is a scammer or a green card shark. The only thing I can tell you about that is go with your gut. It sounds to me like you sense this is a good woman and if she is you have struck gold. As long as you dont let your little head do the thinking for the big head you will probably be OK. And you dont have to jump into a marriage with this woman if you dont feel comfortable the PIs are full of beautiful loving women looking for a guy like you.

I can direct you to sites with attorneys(also married to Filipinas) who will walk you through the process of filing the different paper work involved with the visa. Its alot of paper work but anyone who can read and write and fill out a form can do it.

The one rule of thumb that I would adhere to is if your intended asks for money that should be a major red flag and move on. Aside from that Keep chatting with her and start pricing flights I'd leave tommorow if I were you

Sounds good, if you could please send me a direct message of those sites I would appreciate it.
 
Old 09-14-2012, 11:03 AM
 
Location: In The Pacific
986 posts, read 1,178,564 times
Reputation: 1233
I'm a Filipino American citizen since the age of 7. I look Filipino naturally, but grew up in California and I have American values and a little bit of the Filipino culture in me! I'm retired U.S. Air force & Civil Service and permanently reside in the Philippines, our roots! I've been around the block and then some!
I've been married to a Filipina for 24 yrs now who I met through relatives and she's no different than any other decent woman that are out there in any country IMHO! It's all about the luck of the draw or a hit or miss kind of thing!
The only advise I can give to Caucasian or other ethnic nationalities of men from other foreign countries visiting the Philippines is, be humble/kind and don't have an attitude! If you don't have at least those two characteristics or behavior while in the Philippines or other Asian countries, you are asking for trouble and you'll see or read a lot of sad and horror stories in the news media about foreigners behaving badly in a foreign country! Learn some of their culture and or language as soon as you are able, but if not, don't have an attitude and remain humble & kind and also speak in a mild manner and never shout at any Asians, besides, in some countries especially here in the Philippines, it's against the law to abuse the locals in public in any way!
If anyone reading this post of mine and don't heed my two simple suggestions of behavior while overseas, "Good Luck" anyways!
 
Old 09-14-2012, 11:40 PM
 
2,401 posts, read 3,960,340 times
Reputation: 2175
That,
is SAD.


Sorry... lamer than OP pawning the blame unto generalizing all American women's attitude.

And also good luck finding real happiness from this so-called attraction... something OP WILL definitely need.

One more pointer...
If OP is sooo... desirable a guy....
Sorry to say but at 33, most likely OP be either "married", have tons of girlfriends (and thus liked to be single to escape) with the many American ladies swooning & fawning OP....

so much so that OP will never needs to have to look beyond his OWN country.

Come on seriously.

P.S. Yes, I am Asian too. But to marry someone just because of their skin color is just plain "lame".
 
Old 09-15-2012, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,822,206 times
Reputation: 11318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Ok, here's the deal. I've thinking about going to the Philippines to meet a girl. I know what the deal is, she like many others want to marry a western guy to live a better life she may be desperate. I'm fully aware of this, and after much thought I really don't mind. I'm not that old (33 ) and I'm a decent looking guy so there's a possibility that she might actually be somewhat attracted to me.

I'm tired of the attitude of the average American woman and I'm thinking about giving this a shot. The way I look at it is if we get married I'll have her sign a prenup that way I can't get taken to the cleaners. So if she divorces me that's fine as long as I don't get screwed.

I'm thinking about flying over there to meet this girl I've been corresponding with online. She lives in Davao City and I'm would like some tips to anyone that has experience with this. How to play this safe and not put myself in harms way. I've never been to the Philippines so I need some guidance.

I want to meet her and spend some time with her and see how she is. I'm not going to get married right away but if I do can we get married over there or does it have to be in the states? Once married is she allowed to live in the US?

Info would be greatly appreciated.
Yeah, the feeling is mutual.
Don't come whining later when you get exactly what you asked for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Although what I said about American women I still believe is true. Women in this county have become cold, shallow, cunning, and promiscuous. I'm tired of the radical feminist movement, in most relationships in the US the woman wears the pants. They control everything with an Iron fist, dictating everything. Even in many tv shows and commercials men are portrayed as weak and stupid .

I just wanted to be treated with respect for once by a respectful women who appreciates her man.
Yes, men have always been loyal and they're never "cold, shallow, cunning, and promiscuous".
Where do you get your information?
You've probably never been in a relationship in your life.

With your attitude, if I were a woman, I'd run in the opposite direction immediately.

Just wow.

Last edited by chielgirl; 09-15-2012 at 08:27 AM..
 
Old 09-15-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,822,206 times
Reputation: 11318
Quote:
Originally Posted by silenthelpreturns View Post
Nice strawman. You say men are shallow because they go by looks but what about women who say that a man needs to have a job to support her, and if he doesn't have a job he is weak and inferior and shouldn't be dating. I don't see women being told they need a job and "security" to get a man.
Ummm, she was responding to your post and the ridiculous ones from the OP.
Women support themselves; really what do I need a man for?
I have a job, a great life, travel the world, enjoy the company of men and consider them icing on the cake of my life.
But need them, no.

Maybe the women were actually letting you down easy.
 
Old 09-15-2012, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,822,206 times
Reputation: 11318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
Yes I know there's terrible men in the US, which reminds me of another thing that annoys me about American women. Many American women would rather be with a complete @ss hole than be with a nice normal guy. I never got that one, it's these type of women that will only date @ss holes and would rather die than date a normal nice guy.

As far as feminism, I'm not talking about taking away any women's rights. I'm talking about the modern day women that emulates today's pop culture. I'm talking about the women that are into living the "Sex in The City" lifestyle. Woman have in the US have become over sexual, just look around, girls gone wild, desperate housewives, Real housewives of Orange County, 50 shades of gray the whole "Cougar" thing. You can't even get through the check out stand at a supermarket without noticing this slutty magazine called Cosmopolitan.

Don't get me started on the materialistic nature that goes on today, you should see this show on CNBC called Princess. What I'm saying is I don't need a prude but for crying out loud what ever happened to being a lady.

And don't me statrted
From your posts, you're not a nice normal guy.
Oh please, you make your own life.
You choose what you choose; then you whine about it.

Now you're whining about magazines in grocery stores.

Fella, you need to get a grip.
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