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Old 09-16-2012, 06:41 AM
 
5,239 posts, read 6,922,367 times
Reputation: 11338

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And now this thread has taken on a new off topic course of dissing men that found love someplace other than in their own western backyard. How about the mod interjecting a note about staying on topic in this thread.

 
Old 09-16-2012, 07:38 AM
 
Location: In The Pacific
986 posts, read 1,204,178 times
Reputation: 1233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Leaf View Post
No I don't love her yet but that doesn't mean we can't eventually fall in love. I'm not pursuing marriage per say I'm pursuing a relationship and it's just the way the immigration laws are setup they make it so you have to get married in order to be together in the US.

As far as waiting to find an American women, I've tried and I'm tired of looking. Many American women don't really genuinely love there husbands anyways. As soon as a guy gets laid off from his job many of them file for divorce. American women seem very disloyal these days hence the high divorce rate in the US.

As far as her marring me for citizenship, I'm aware that's a real possibility but once married she's free to divorce me if she wants to and that's my way of testing her intentions. If she wants a divorce that's fine, it means she never like me in the first place and if she sticks around well, then I can say she might actually like me for who I am.
I'm a Fil/Am grew up in California and have American values! I met my wife from the Philippines through my Mom's relatives, she was 18 yrs old at the time and I was 29. Our first meeting was of courtship only to see what develops! There was no hanky panky in the 6 yrs I courted her!
I would visit her in the Philippines 2 to 3 times a year in the 6 yrs I courted her, until I asked her to marry me, it was worth the wait! After we got married I petitioned her to join me in California and 6 months later she was with me!
After 24 years, we're still together and we're now both retired and living permanently in the Philippines and enjoying our retirement!

Last edited by Art2ro; 09-16-2012 at 07:48 AM..
 
Old 09-16-2012, 11:21 AM
 
630 posts, read 667,472 times
Reputation: 364
The one sentence in this post that I agree with is the last one. This is only one situation and the exception not the rule




Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Whatever. Every guy I know who went this route knew getting a conventional American woman wasn't in the cards for them. One example was a Creole guy who kept chasing blondes. Most of the boys in this family did the same thing with varying degrees of success so, as he was getting along in years, he found a South American woman. Obnoxious and brassy, family coming in from South America for months at a time, language barrier, phone bills, occasional trips to the "homeland" instead of Hawaii or Europe, and kids who appear to be having some issues at school about their blended status. And that's just ONE situation.
 
Old 09-17-2012, 01:24 AM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,041 posts, read 19,612,146 times
Reputation: 19460
The (typically socially inept) Western guys who go to foreign lands expecting beautiful virgins to fall at their feet tend to get women who are basically selling themselves for a ticket to the United States and a revenue stream that flows back to their families in whatever banana republic that they came from.
 
Old 09-17-2012, 02:54 AM
 
Location: In The Pacific
986 posts, read 1,204,178 times
Reputation: 1233
It's easy to sit in judgement, when one's life isn't so bad! If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I bet no one will sit in judgement if one returned in the shoes of an unfortunate individual anywhere in this world or in the life of the person who is being judged negatively!
The original poster was looking for suggestions from people in the know, guidance and or advice and not be judged or discouraged by disgruntled, misinformed or negative people with an attitude!
There will always be someone out there who just enjoy raining on other people's parade!
 
Old 09-17-2012, 06:59 PM
 
630 posts, read 667,472 times
Reputation: 364
Whats wrong with broadening ones search, casting a larger net? Its easy to do nowadays and only makes sense. Why insult men and women with lablels and stigma when you know nothing about them.

I know why



Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
The (typically socially inept) Western guys who go to foreign lands expecting beautiful virgins to fall at their feet tend to get women who are basically selling themselves for a ticket to the United States and a revenue stream that flows back to their families in whatever banana republic that they came from.
 
Old 09-17-2012, 08:00 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,638 posts, read 1,843,180 times
Reputation: 3538
I wonder. I am a single woman, with a good job, decent looking and not over weight. I have no children, never been married, own my own home, etc. I do not drink, dont smoke, dont take any kind of drugs. I dont do the club scene, never have. And I am surely not out banging different men every night, and I do not dress like a ****.

I am not looking for a man so I can take his money, make him buy me expensive things, etc. I am just looking for a man that is similiar to me. I just want someone to do things with..share my life with. Someone to love.

However, I run into men who are just totally looking for nothing but sex, who feel that they should be able to bed a woman down by the second date, who are cheaters or players, guys who dont want to work, guys that have 'criminalistic' behaviors, total control freaks, etc.

Those men that are halfway decent have been divorced, etc and now carry emotional baggage and hate and distrust all women and project this onto every woman they meet.

See, there are women who harbor some of the same feelings about men as the OP harbors about women. There are some women who arent looking to try to boss a guy around, live off a guy, etc. They just want a partner that will love and respect them, and who they can love and respect back.

So, what do we women do? See..as a woman, things dont work the same for us. For us, going internationally would most likely be even worse than finding a guy here, because other cultures tend to view women as second class citizens who are just there to do the man's biding. I suppose that is attractive for the MEN who date internationally, but not so much for us women.

Hmm..I gues that's where u men have the advantage. See, I cant say..oh..im going to date men from the country of Tipple-Doo (made up place). Im going to do this because the men of Tipple -Doo do not ask for sex by the second date. They want to get to know a woman first. The men of Tipple-doo feel a woman is their partner, and not a slave. The men of Tipple-Doo are leaders, and know how to be the man of the house without beating his woman into submission or emotionally tearing her down. He knows how to lead, while still respecting a woman's thoughts and opinions. The men of Tipple-Doo believe in monagomy, and do not cheat on their women. They believe in hard work and working together with a woman to raise their family.

Tell me, when a woman gets disenchanted with American men, what country does she turn to to look for men? Is there a "Tipple-Doo" out there for women? Hmmm........alas, I dont think there is. We are just stuck with what is here in the good ol' USA.
 
Old 09-17-2012, 08:24 PM
 
630 posts, read 667,472 times
Reputation: 364
You and your sisters have made your bed here in the US

lay in it
 
Old 09-18-2012, 05:24 AM
 
Location: In The Pacific
986 posts, read 1,204,178 times
Reputation: 1233
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall View Post
Tell me, when a woman gets disenchanted with American men, what country does she turn to to look for men? Is there a "Tipple-Doo" out there for women? Hmmm........alas, I dont think there is. We are just stuck with what is here in the good ol' USA.
Yes, there is a "Tipple-Doo" fella for you out there some where! Just do what the OP plans on doing, to visit his prospective companion or spouse to be in another country! So, you too can go abroad to look for your "Mr. Right", if American men are not your type! You will never know, unless you try it!
 
Old 09-18-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,555,798 times
Reputation: 2885
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall View Post
I wonder. I am a single woman, with a good job, decent looking and not over weight. I have no children, never been married, own my own home, etc. I do not drink, dont smoke, dont take any kind of drugs. I dont do the club scene, never have. And I am surely not out banging different men every night, and I do not dress like a ****.

I am not looking for a man so I can take his money, make him buy me expensive things, etc. I am just looking for a man that is similiar to me. I just want someone to do things with..share my life with. Someone to love.

However, I run into men who are just totally looking for nothing but sex, who feel that they should be able to bed a woman down by the second date, who are cheaters or players, guys who dont want to work, guys that have 'criminalistic' behaviors, total control freaks, etc.

Those men that are halfway decent have been divorced, etc and now carry emotional baggage and hate and distrust all women and project this onto every woman they meet.

See, there are women who harbor some of the same feelings about men as the OP harbors about women. There are some women who arent looking to try to boss a guy around, live off a guy, etc. They just want a partner that will love and respect them, and who they can love and respect back.

So, what do we women do? See..as a woman, things dont work the same for us. For us, going internationally would most likely be even worse than finding a guy here, because other cultures tend to view women as second class citizens who are just there to do the man's biding. I suppose that is attractive for the MEN who date internationally, but not so much for us women.

Hmm..I gues that's where u men have the advantage. See, I cant say..oh..im going to date men from the country of Tipple-Doo (made up place). Im going to do this because the men of Tipple -Doo do not ask for sex by the second date. They want to get to know a woman first. The men of Tipple-doo feel a woman is their partner, and not a slave. The men of Tipple-Doo are leaders, and know how to be the man of the house without beating his woman into submission or emotionally tearing her down. He knows how to lead, while still respecting a woman's thoughts and opinions. The men of Tipple-Doo believe in monagomy, and do not cheat on their women. They believe in hard work and working together with a woman to raise their family.

Tell me, when a woman gets disenchanted with American men, what country does she turn to to look for men? Is there a "Tipple-Doo" out there for women? Hmmm........alas, I dont think there is. We are just stuck with what is here in the good ol' USA.
There are good men out there but lots of women spoil it for ladies like yourself. When I was single 20 years ago, if I did not have sex with most American women on the first date they thought something was wrong with me and sex on a first date and not even on a second to tenth date was not something I wanted since I wanted to know a person first and have feelings for them before jumping into bed and sometimes that could be accomplished in a week, a month or in some cases much longer.

I wish I knew of a place where you could find a good man but you are correct and most men seem to have a leg up on you because it is easier for them to go to another country and find a good woman.

I would suggest you be up front with your wants and dislikes on dating sites and then chat with the men via the internet and phone first and only after getting to know them should you meet up with them for a date if you feel you have met someone with similar values. I suggest you get yourself something like a Magic Jack which can be bought at Best Buy or other stores as well as online to use as a throw away phone number and only give out that number and then you can have the number changed if need be for a small fee, or install a second line or ringmaster line in your home if available in your area and then you can always have that disconnected once you find the right man or if someone annoys you or the number changed.

Good men do exist, just as you seem to be proof that good women exist, so I hope you can find someone who will make you very happy as my wife has done for me and hopefully I have done for her.
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