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Old 02-22-2013, 06:27 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,377,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danielsa1775 View Post
I have never seen my wife hug any of her family or friends Trimac, even after years of absence she greats her mother and brothers etc, with all the outward emotion you might expect of a businessman meeting a client, minus the handshake. I am sure there is lots going on beneth the surface however.

At home it took a long time for her to get used to the fact that it is polite to greet my family with a hug or a kiss etc, it certainly caused a bit of tension between us from time to time.
But she hugs and kisses you after say long periods of being apart or before you or she goes away?

Wow, I didn't realise it was still that uncommon. It is what it is though. It would feel strange to me to not even hug a family member I hadn't seen for a long time. Some cultures might go overboard with it, so that a hug almost loses it's value. It's more than politeness, it's that sense of closeness.

 
Old 02-22-2013, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Brisbane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
But she hugs and kisses you after say long periods of being apart or before you or she goes away?

Wow, I didn't realise it was still that uncommon. It is what it is though. It would feel strange to me to not even hug a family member I hadn't seen for a long time. Some cultures might go overboard with it, so that a hug almost loses it's value. It's more than politeness, it's that sense of closeness.
Ha Ha, she hugs me at least 20 times a day these days mate, we are a very "snuggly" couple without a better word for it and have no issues about showing that in public. I really think she appreicates it, there are several things about the Culture she grew up in that she does not like, and that is one of them.

Still when we get back to Korea, her behaviour naturally adapts, and I am told to behave myslef.

Last edited by danielsa1775; 02-22-2013 at 06:55 PM..
 
Old 02-22-2013, 06:54 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,377,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danielsa1775 View Post
Ha Ha, she hugs me at least 20 times a day these days mate, we are a very "snuggly" couple without a better word for it. I really think she appreicates it, there are several things about Korean Culture she does not like, and that is one of them.

Still when we get back to Korea, i am told to behave myself.
Haha, yeah maybe making up for all the hugs she didn't receive as a child...

I've seen some Korean movies and you see the same themes over and over again. Distant husbands/fathers who seldom show affection for their family and are abusive. I hope that's not a common thing over there.
 
Old 02-22-2013, 08:43 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,669,089 times
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Traditional Asian culture is just like that, and it is how I grew up. My dad hugged me as a child but not anymore in my teens. The last time I hugged my mom and my sister was probably at my dad's funeral decades ago. The last time I kissed my mom was probably on my wedding day. I never hugged my brother ever. We're just so used of not doing it, and just greeting each other with "Have you eaten?" is enough.

I do hug and kiss my kids a lot. Their cousins also kiss them as little kids, even though I never recall my cousins ever doing that to me as one of the youngest cousins. I guess that's part of being more Westernized or just showing a bit more emotion.

I don't really have a problem with the kissing and hugging, just that you get used to the old ways. I hug my close friends when it's time to say goodbye, especially when you won't see them for years or ever again (such as during graduation). I also have more Westernized or non-Asian friends who I hug if ever we see each other because that is their culture and it's normal for those friends. And no problem with people in the Philippines who adopt the Spanish way of kissing as well (touching both cheeks). It's just normal in the particular culture, so no problem in doing it too.
 
Old 02-22-2013, 09:11 PM
 
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^ Yeah I've noticed that many women in the Philippines do the kiss greeting thing (it's really cheek to cheek). But it's not nearly as wide-spread as in Latin countries. And men & women don't do it, only women and women.
 
Old 02-22-2013, 10:06 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,669,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smtchll View Post
^ Yeah I've noticed that many women in the Philippines do the kiss greeting thing (it's really cheek to cheek). But it's not nearly as wide-spread as in Latin countries. And men & women don't do it, only women and women.
Am a guy and I do it. But yeah, not to everyone. Only to more Westernized women, and mostly younger man to older woman, or to women within the extended family. As a married guy, cannot do it with single attractive woman who I hardly know.
 
Old 02-22-2013, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenTiger View Post
Am a guy and I do it. But yeah, not to everyone. Only to more Westernized women, and mostly younger man to older woman, or to women within the extended family. As a married guy, cannot do it with single attractive woman who I hardly know.
Oh, I didn't know that men & women did it. That's like Europe & Latin America. Is the "beso beso" an upper-class thing or do people in general do it?
 
Old 02-22-2013, 10:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smtchll View Post
Oh, I didn't know that men & women did it. That's like Europe & Latin America. Is the "beso beso" an upper-class thing or do people in general do it?
I don't think people in general do it, but some families do, especially those who adopted Spanish mestizo culture, which by most accounts are more urban and upper class. In my case, it's just that a distant relative married someone whose family members do it as a norm. In a large family gathering, they come and do the "beso beso" with my mom in lieu of the more Filipino "mano po". So one has to reciprocate and do a "beso beso" with their mom too. Takes a bit of getting used to, but no big deal really.
 
Old 02-23-2013, 12:43 AM
kyh
 
Location: Malaysia & Singapore
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I do not really show affection for my dad (I find it weird and uncomfortable since we're both males). But I do hug and kiss my mum whenever I see her, and probably because I am a lot closer to her than with my dad.
 
Old 02-25-2013, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Derby, Western Australia
3,091 posts, read 3,538,252 times
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It's a little uncomfortable hugging my Mum (who is Chinese-Singaporean), she sort of ends up happily though awkwardly accepting it. Her parents rarely hugged her either.

If I had my own children I would certainly hug them, I think it's emotionally very much positive and reinforces those bonds with family and friends.
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