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Old 02-21-2013, 07:31 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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No hugging please, we’re Chinese! | Chinos & Chopsticks

I know I recently started a thread on physical affection in Asia, but I thought this article was interesting (sorry it's a bit long). My mum said her mother rarely hugged her - she was one of ten children in a working class Chinese-Singaporean family. My father said he was hugged more as a kid and interestingly found this a cultural difference. He was from Malaysia but I think his parents were a bit more Western.

Is it really true that a lot of Asian people - Chinese and especially Japanese - never and seldom hug their children/parents/siblings/cousins/friends.etc? I heard that it's changing and they're doing it a lot more. Actually South Asian society doesn't seem that touchy-feely in some ways - if anything it seems mostly Indian men who are most touchy with each other. Again, would SE Asia be a bit moreso than East Asia or not really?

 
Old 02-21-2013, 07:54 PM
 
Location: San Francisco, California
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traditional Chinese seldom hug or kiss on the cheek , it's too intrusive and feels like an invasion of space, especially if your not that close to the other person

another thing I noticed a lot of westerners do is giving too much direct eye contact and they always want to stare in your eyes without looking away, it's almost like a sign of disrespect or aggression

when you talk to an asian your shouldnt get too close and stare into their eyes , especially talking to older asians, you need to keep some distance

it's also rude
 
Old 02-21-2013, 07:59 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr bolo View Post
traditional Chinese seldom hug or kiss on the cheek , it's too intrusive and feels like an invasion of space, especially if your not that close to the other person

another thing I noticed a lot of westerners do is giving too much direct eye contact and they always want to stare in your eyes without looking away, it's almost like a sign of disrespect or aggression

when you talk to an asian your shouldnt get too close and stare into their eyes , especially talking to older asians, you need to keep some distance

it's also rude
Ironic given how crowded it is. Then again Europe is crowded too.

Weird, I felt the people in Asia stared MORE than in Western countries, and for longer too. I've been to many countries including China and Taiwan. I found this the case in Taiwan and Vietnam especially. I'm Asian Australian btw.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Ironic given how crowded it is. Then again Europe is crowded too.

Weird, I felt the people in Asia stared MORE than in Western countries, and for longer too. I've been to many countries including China and Taiwan. I found this the case in Taiwan and Vietnam especially. I'm Asian Australian btw.

I notice they stare a lot, until you stare back.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Plano, TX
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What kind of Asian are you? I'm mixed race, ... apparently it's socially acceptable for East Asians to stare at me, talk behind my back, etc. because some consider me an outsider (or would be told I was an outsider). Even if I wasn't mixed race, I'm sure they would stare at me once they heard me speaking fluent English, ... as in that person must have money, we can potentially rip him off, etc.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:38 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Originally Posted by Momotaro View Post
I notice they stare a lot, until you stare back.
Oh many of them will hold your stare too. Not that I go around staring people down.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by compSciGuy View Post
What kind of Asian are you? I'm mixed race, ... apparently it's socially acceptable for East Asians to stare at me, talk behind my back, etc. because some consider me an outsider (or would be told I was an outsider). Even if I wasn't mixed race, I'm sure they would stare at me once they heard me speaking fluent English, ... as in that person must have money, we can potentially rip him off, etc.
Singapore-Malaysian of mostly Chinese ancestry, I could blend into most Asian countries.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Plano, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Singapore-Malaysian of mostly Chinese ancestry, I could blend into most Asian countries.
I can blend in, I have had people act differently, including stare, crowd around me, etc. when I spoke in fluent English. This has occurred in Korea, China, Thailand, etc. Actually, last time I was in China when I was speaking English they thought I was from Hong Kong, but an Asian looking person speaking English can be considered abnormal (from he's an elistist showoff to why is an Asian person speaking fluent English and not the local language) in many parts of Asia. Going back to being a little kid to an adult, I've been told not to speak English publicly, as many people will try to rip me off because they think I'm a rich Asian from overseas.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:54 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,377,277 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by compSciGuy View Post
I can blend in, I have had people act differently, including stare, crowd around me, etc. when I spoke in fluent English. This has occurred in Korea, China, Thailand, etc. Actually, last time I was in China when I was speaking English they thought I was from Hong Kong, but an Asian looking person speaking English can be considered abnormal (from he's an elistist showoff to why is an Asian person speaking fluent English and not the local language) in many parts of Asia. Going back to being a little kid to an adult, I've been told not to speak English publicly, as many people will try to rip me off because they think I'm a rich Asian from overseas.
In Thailand a couple of girls didn't believe me when they said I was Australian in an Australian accent. I don't speak any other languages, so I don't have a choice lol. In Singapore and Malaysian people have spoken to me in both Chinese and Malay lol.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
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I think affection is looked at differently in most Asian countries. Closeness is considered rude and forceful. I know in Korea a hug between non relatives was a no and a no in public between relatives. Hugs were given under extreme conditions like a tragic loss, or something like that. Even a hand shake is awkward if a hand isn't extended first by another, older Korean. A head nod is enough.

My parents are more vocally supportive. Not so much physically. America is different that way, you can hug anyone and it's no big deal, like Italy.

When my parents first came to America my mom freaked out at public french kissing. lol
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