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Old 05-20-2013, 01:07 AM
 
Location: American Expat
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Any luck so far?

 
Old 05-20-2013, 08:42 AM
 
1,434 posts, read 2,116,023 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinai View Post
for a women marrying other nationality is not easy specially if you are a muslim & very much traditional. For South Asian men is very common but the women, I don't think it's common. Some Indian they have this traditional dowry, I heard the reason why there's a lot of men working overseas is because they have sisters in the family and they have to earn money for their sisters so they can give dowry for the men that they choose to marry, If the guy came from a better family and studied the dowry will be more harder for the woman. I got this information from my co-worker who are Indians.

But I know an Indian woman married an American black guy cause I was invited on her wedding day and She's a Christian Indian.


I think India, Nepal and Sri Lanka are different from the rest of South Asia. I think the ppl of these nations are becoming more open minded day by day. I know quite a few Indian and Nepali women who have dated and married out. Dowry used to be a major issue before and I believe it is still around depending on the individual families. It comes down to how modern and open minded that family is. Living in India and living abroad are factors to consider also. Dowry may have negative connations in the West and elsewhere due to the abuses related to it but there are many instances where its purpose was to simply help the young couple.


Im not denying it either coz I have heard of ppl working and saving cash to get their sisters married off. I think in time, things wil get better. I can tell you it is. Men working oversea's is directly related to opportunities to make a better life for their families.



As for Muslim women, I agree it is not easy for them at all. I have dated a few Muslims and it was difficult. It did not work out because I would have to consider converting or agree to the kids becoming Muslim. There is a lot of parental pressure as well. In India, there are may cases where Hindu women marry Muslim men without it making a fuss. But there have reported cases of "Love Jihad." But a Hindu man marrying a muslim women has usually resulted in death, false charges of kidnapping/rape, and death threats.
 
Old 05-20-2013, 12:09 PM
 
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Wow, this is a tough one. You have the India Indians who are very different in thinking from those of us who live outside India. I consider myself a westernized Indian...born and bred in Singapore. I'm married to a white American myself, and we have no problems getting along, because like i said, I'm westernized in my beliefs, though I do retain some Asian traits like belief that the child should live with the parents till he gets married.

The best bet is to go for Christian Indians...Hindus are okay too as their faith seems to embrace other faiths more easily.

Anyway, I'm in the market for a nice Westerner for my lovely niece, who also lives in Singapore. If you're decent, no womanizer, less than 35 years old, financially very stable, do not smoke or do drugs, write to me. She's sweet, loyal, educated, petite, Catholic Christian, largely westernized but also with Asian values like mine. Cheers!

Last edited by msservos; 05-20-2013 at 12:18 PM..
 
Old 05-20-2013, 12:42 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,352,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msservos View Post
Wow, this is a tough one. You have the India Indians who are very different in thinking from those of us who live outside India. I consider myself a westernized Indian...born and bred in Singapore. I'm married to a white American myself, and we have no problems getting along, because like i said, I'm westernized in my beliefs, though I do retain some Asian traits like belief that the child should live with the parents till he gets married.

The best bet is to go for Christian Indians...Hindus are okay too as their faith seems to embrace other faiths more easily.

Anyway, I'm in the market for a nice Westerner for my lovely niece, who also lives in Singapore. If you're decent, no womanizer, less than 35 years old, financially very stable, do not smoke or do drugs, write to me. She's sweet, loyal, educated, petite, Catholic Christian, largely westernized but also with Asian values like mine. Cheers!
I'm the OP. But you're Singaporean, what? Singaporean first, Indian/Chinese second lah! Lol just kidding, I was born in Singapore, my mother is Singaporean, but I moved to Australia at a very young age so I'm really Australian. I do enjoy visits back to Singapore though.

I'm not seriously looking at getting hitched right now, but I'm sure your niece is a wonderful person! I'd definitely be open to dating Indian girls, Singaporean or otherwise though, as I am girls/women from pretty much everywhere. I had a few Singaporean/Malaysian Indian friends growing up and have met some friendly Indian Malaysian gals.
 
Old 05-20-2013, 05:26 PM
 
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I have to agree with what the Muslim chap here said about Islam trumping everything else. It's that way in my Catholic family too. You're Catholic? Prized meat! You're other types of Christian? Good enough. Lol. We've had all types of races/nationalities marry into the family, but all were welcomed on condition that they shared our faith...we've had a Hindu, a Muslim, and a Buddhist all convert to our faith...all different races, Tamil Indian, Pakistani and Chinese. And the rest of my siblings married local Malayalee Indian, local Chinese, white French, white English and myself, white American. United Nations our family may be, but it's religion that unites us.
 
Old 05-20-2013, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Brisbane
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My best man at my wedding is married to an Indian national, although she did spend most of her life living in Singapore before migrating to Australia, her family are Sikh's, originally from Punjab.

Last edited by danielsa1775; 05-20-2013 at 09:45 PM..
 
Old 05-22-2013, 03:52 AM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,779 posts, read 13,349,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mintgum84 View Post
I can speak only from experience. I was engaged to an Algerian girl for 6 months or so. My brother is married to a Chinese Muslim. To many of us, Islam trumps all else in terms of a spouse. So long as someone is a Muslim, I see no issue in race etc.

This is not true of all peoples who claim to be Muslims. But if Islam is truly in your heart, you see not race or wealth. Only iman.
I was reading this today: Life as One of the Most-Persecuted Ethnic Groups on the Planet - Jeffrey Stern - The Atlantic

But, all this said, my ex wife was born in Karachi to a Pakistani father and Indian Muslim mother, but moved to the US at sixteen. She's from an educated and fairly well-off family and so is very, very secularized; most of her family, especially the folks stateside, are too. It did cause a bit of a stir in her family when she started seeing me and when we then married because there are a lot of bored housewives in her vast family, here and abroad, who have absolutely nothing better to do with their time than gossip, and I'm a Scandanavian-descended, firmly non-religious American dude. Oh my, N______ is marrying an American! She's so loose. No good Pakistani man would have married her anyway!

One of her brothers in Texas is married to an American woman who converted to Islam to appease their family, but neither of them are practicing... a cousin of hers, also in Texas, married a white guy and they're both nonreligious. The religious folks in her family were never anything but wonderful to me... all told, they were very good people.

My experience with her, as well as a couple other Indian-American girls I've dated, was that issues of religion aside, the family gossip mill was one of the biggest deterrents to marrying out, moreso than issues of "caste" or the dogged pursuit of tradition, or anything like that. Even if the immediate family gives you their blessing, you've got a dizzying number of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc etc etc who are suddenly prying into your life and butting in on a level that crosses the threshold in the West.
 
Old 05-22-2013, 04:17 AM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,779 posts, read 13,349,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistertee View Post
I think India, Nepal and Sri Lanka are different from the rest of South Asia. I think the ppl of these nations are becoming more open minded day by day. I know quite a few Indian and Nepali women who have dated and married out.
Yeah, when my ex's brother met me for the first time, he was very nice; he had to report back to their family about me. Well, he owned a Chevy Avalanche, which incidentally is one of my favorite trucks... we bonded over that, and the fact that he listened to Avenged Sevenfold and I played guitar. I agreed to give his six-year old son guitar lessons. That pretty much sealed it

Quote:
Dowry used to be a major issue before and I believe it is still around depending on the individual families. It comes down to how modern and open minded that family is. Living in India and living abroad are factors to consider also. Dowry may have negative connations in the West and elsewhere due to the abuses related to it but there are many instances where its purpose was to simply help the young couple.
Yeah, I think that a lot of people in the West think of a dowry as "paying off" the other family... there was no dowry in our marriage, of course, but my understanding is that in most modern marriages, the money is generally thought of as something to bind the families together with financial stability - it could be used as the down payment on a house or condo for the young couple, or for the husband to start a business, or for one or both of them to complete their studies, or to buy a second car so that they each have a car to drive to their job, etc. - all of which are things that Western parents will often do for their child or child in law after marriage, and are looked upon in a positive light. A friend of mine married a girl back in Boston, and his father-in-law (a successful lawyer) paid off his student loans so that as they started their lives together in a new city, they wouldn't have that debt weighing them down. Other friends have inherited a car or piece of land from their in-laws.
 
Old 05-22-2013, 12:33 PM
 
60 posts, read 371,627 times
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Yes, the grapevine is holy to Indians! Lmao
 
Old 06-24-2013, 06:01 PM
 
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This is a funny post to me; four years ago this post would have been me! I have been in a relationship to a first generation Indian woman for several years, we had our engagement party last year and the wedding is next spring.....I can say for an American man entering into an Indian family is certainly a transition. My fiancée was born in the us, she is light skinned and went to private school. She does pray to shiva, when she gets dressed up she loves saris, she can not speak fluently other than english but completely understands Gujarati and Hindi. I have met about 100 aunties and uncles ( it's still unclear to me who is actually blood related and who are simply family friends but that dosnt seem to matter to them).
Her mother unconditionally loves her but at the same time guilts her about literally EVERYTHING that she does...with in 10 minutes of us visiting on a Sunday it is small whispers but they don't stop! "Tanvi those shorts are too small vince will think you are banchod haramcore (****). Two seconds later... Tanvi why dont I have grandchild yet...inspire the man!
Indians don't have the same sense of personal space as we do; anything they want to know they will ask....literally anything. I at first was insulted but I realize now it's just not beating around the bush...they just want to get to know you. Don't be insulted by it; but be warned.... Anything that you say to one will be gossiped about for months around the threading salon.
I could write for hours about advice on this topic but iPads are a pain to type on. All in all Indians get some getting used to but they are wonderful faithful loving people and I am happy to be entering into an Indian family!
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