U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > World Forums > Asia
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-02-2013, 09:43 AM
 
1,765 posts, read 2,443,579 times
Reputation: 1536

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ag77845 View Post
You are welcome.

What's your cultural background? May I ask..

I guess he isn't supressing his desires, maybe he is just focusing on his study/work and he doesn't need to ask you to do a lot for him at this point. Romantic relationship is only a small part of life.
We both are. I spend a lot of time on here because I'm always in my room studying and this is my break time.

I'm Black American with Caribbean lineage
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-21-2014, 09:52 AM
 
11 posts, read 21,977 times
Reputation: 16
Sadly. Rude, bad hygiene, nerdy, poor in wealth and education, China as a developing and communist nation are probably some reasons western women are not so interested in Chinese men.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2014, 07:33 PM
 
3,123 posts, read 2,701,374 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ag77845 View Post
In China, men are women are more equal. So it's not uncommon for the female to initiate activities and take a proactive position, especially when the relationship is stable.
I disagree. Gender roles are deeply ingrained in China. The, man should always pay for restaurants and taxis. while women can initiate activities once in a while its the mans job to initiate most activities. Women should do most of the house work. Women tend to listen to their husband even if they disagree. And men are expected to earn a certain income while women have to be young and pretty.

That's also why a lot of Chinese men don't dress very well. Its because most Chinese women care more about money than looks. Personality is still important and rude men won't get very far unless they earn a lot of money.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2014, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,781 posts, read 16,235,411 times
Reputation: 2833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
I disagree. Gender roles are deeply ingrained in China. The, man should always pay for restaurants and taxis. while women can initiate activities once in a while its the mans job to initiate most activities. Women should do most of the house work. Women tend to listen to their husband even if they disagree. And men are expected to earn a certain income while women have to be young and pretty.

That's also why a lot of Chinese men don't dress very well. Its because most Chinese women care more about money than looks. Personality is still important and rude men won't get very far unless they earn a lot of money.
How well do you know Chinese society? Communism for a start made things more equal. Not saying what you're saying doesn't sometimes apply, but I've heard from several Chinese people (who btw have a relatively balanced view of the government) about how things are pretty equal, and indeed witnessed many cases where the woman/wife 'wears the pants', pays.etc.

The last part is largely true, China is very materialistic. Chinese men also want a woman who is well-off, as well as young and beautiful. Women over 27 are sometimes called 'leftover women' because they're considered too old by many! Of course there are plenty of Chinese men and women who are exceptions to this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2014, 09:24 PM
 
3,123 posts, read 2,701,374 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
How well do you know Chinese society? Communism for a start made things more equal. Not saying what you're saying doesn't sometimes apply, but I've heard from several Chinese people (who btw have a relatively balanced view of the government) about how things are pretty equal, and indeed witnessed many cases where the woman/wife 'wears the pants', pays.etc.

The last part is largely true, China is very materialistic. Chinese men also want a woman who is well-off, as well as young and beautiful. Women over 27 are sometimes called 'leftover women' because they're considered too old by many! Of course there are plenty of Chinese men and women who are exceptions to this.
Well, I have been to China about 6 times, I am in China right now, and I am getting married to a Chinese woman. So reasonably well I guess.

But I can't speak for the whole China. China is in fact quite different among different social groups and different regions. I still don't see it as equal. China gave up communism (except in name) in 1978 and since then China has gone back to the old gender roles. And it wasn't even equal under socialism either, even though women was wearing pants

Maybe the people you met were comparing to other Asian countries who got even stronger gender roles. But China compared to my home country Norway has much more defined gender roles.

Last edited by Camlon; 01-21-2014 at 09:37 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2014, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Czech Republic
2,384 posts, read 5,847,456 times
Reputation: 796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
I disagree. Gender roles are deeply ingrained in China. The, man should always pay for restaurants and taxis. while women can initiate activities once in a while its the mans job to initiate most activities. Women should do most of the house work. Women tend to listen to their husband even if they disagree. And men are expected to earn a certain income while women have to be young and pretty.

That's also why a lot of Chinese men don't dress very well. Its because most Chinese women care more about money than looks. Personality is still important and rude men won't get very far unless they earn a lot of money.
I always see young Chinese women ( late twenties- thirties ) with men in their late 50's so maybe it is true, they do not care so much about their partner's looks but care more about financial security.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 12:18 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,781 posts, read 16,235,411 times
Reputation: 2833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
Well, I have been to China about 6 times, I am in China right now, and I am getting married to a Chinese woman. So reasonably well I guess.

But I can't speak for the whole China. China is in fact quite different among different social groups and different regions. I still don't see it as equal. China gave up communism (except in name) in 1978 and since then China has gone back to the old gender roles. And it wasn't even equal under socialism either, even though women was wearing pants

Maybe the people you met were comparing to other Asian countries who got even stronger gender roles. But China compared to my home country Norway has much more defined gender roles.
Yeah compared to Norway maybe. Which areas are you most familiar with and what socio-economic groups?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2014, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,779 posts, read 13,351,665 times
Reputation: 11309
As far as the gender roles and dynamics, in my meager few days here, I can see examples of egalitarianism as well as traditional gender roles.

On the one hand, every day after they close, all the women who work at the local Bank of China come outside to scrub the sidewalk out front.



On the other hand, I see policewomen, I see women who work in manual labor, I see women in the militia, the owner of my company is a woman.

All told, to be honest, I see more parallels with Chinese culture and American culture in this sense than I do differences... I mean, in the States, you have the dainty, flowery lady who believes that her place is in the home and that her main job is to keep her man happy, and then you have the tattooed, gruff, profane woman who drinks her beer from the bottle and likes to hunt and go mudding. In China, you have the dainty, feminine lily flower who covers her mouth when she laughs, spends an hour on her makeup only to spend an hour on a skincare regimen to take it off and believes that her role is domestic, and you have the woman who is slogging home 2/3rds her body weight in housewares, hawking a loog into the gutter and yelling at you to make way for her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2014, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,781 posts, read 16,235,411 times
Reputation: 2833
^ Yep that sums it up pretty well. I notice in Asia in general you see more women doing labouring jobs, more heavy lifting sort of work, than you do here. I'd say the majority of Chinese women, even the younger ones who make up etc, aren't exactly very feminine. The older ones who grew up under communism are very business-like and gruff, no dainty flowers at all, they're the opposite of romantic. In that sense they remind me of the typical Australian woman.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2014, 07:46 AM
 
25,059 posts, read 23,161,410 times
Reputation: 11619
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
^ Yep that sums it up pretty well. I notice in Asia in general you see more women doing labouring jobs, more heavy lifting sort of work, than you do here. I'd say the majority of Chinese women, even the younger ones who make up etc, aren't exactly very feminine. The older ones who grew up under communism are very business-like and gruff, no dainty flowers at all, they're the opposite of romantic. In that sense they remind me of the typical Australian woman.
How much time have you actually spent in Asia and in China?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > World Forums > Asia
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top