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I've been to India four times, and on the third trip I toured much of the subcontinent over a three and a half month period.
If I were to live in India I would avoid the biggest cities ... they are just too noisy, polluted, hectic and stressful for me! Mind you I was born in New York and live in Philadelphia - so I'm a big city boy.
I'm partial to several smaller cities that cater to tourists and spiritual pilgrims like Manali and Dharamsala. These places, because there are a significant number of foreigners, have a large variety of good restaurants, friendly places to hang out for nightlife, and are both in the mountains so they are a little cooler and more comfortable. Both places are quite clean and attractive, but they are not big cities with museums or the cultural amenities major metropolises have.
If you are upper middle-class / or upper class ( or can spend equivalent money) , in most indian cities you can buy yourself into a 'gated' society, where you do not have to face the daily urban struggle of regular indians and can live in a virtual society with all the trappings of western materialism and comfort.
Every city would have an area owned by rich expats indians , who would try to model the community based on western ideals of comfort and standards.
For overall standard of living, avoid metro cities, as , due to poor infra, they are overcrowded, unplanned, polluted, and leave you with a bad taste if you are not strong enuff mentally ( most westerners are not ) .
Other than that, its difficult to classify indian cities, since india is itself ethnically diverse and different cities offer different experiences, which may or may not gel with your personality. If you are looking for sunny beaches, kerala /goa should be reasonable place to stay, as it allows you all the comforts of modern life well.
Being from kerala myself and not having travelled much to north, i cannot advice you of any places up north. Just that, north india ( kashmir et all ) has some of the most beautifull places ( natural beauty ) on earth, but may not be suitable for a normal westerner.
In all, it really depends on what you are looking for.
I'm not so much into joining an expat bubble. I guess a smaller, nice city seems about right. I've never heard of Manali before and it looks pretty good.
From personal experience, I would say Bangalore...
It has quite a community of expat there since it is the 'IT' city of India and the community is generally very tolerant of foreigners, not just white, but from any countries..
Respect the culture, be aware of your surroundings, and you will be fine
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