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Old 02-22-2014, 10:05 AM
 
164 posts, read 159,170 times
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Quote:
On the micro blogs I saw this story: going to work, riding in coworker’s car in early morning, when waiting for a red light, there was a “Cayenne” next to us. It was a beautiful girl, so I rolled down the window and took a look. My coworker said it confidently “must be an Ernai (二奶: [èrnǎi] – kept woman; mistress)”. Maybe it was too loud the girl heard us and looked a little annoyed. Green light, we hurried and took off, but the Cayenne gassed and caught up on us, rolling down her window, shouted at us “Ever seen an Ernai going to work this early? ****!”
Ever seen a mistress going to work this early?


I never really been to mainland China before. But I live one of Southern California's large Asian communities and for the past ten years, the numbers of immigrants from mainland China pretty much skyrocketed here. Most of them more loaded than the locals. I hailed from HK and since I live here, I don't care much about the border issues between HK and the mainland and since I had mainland Chinese coworkers and friends who were educated, humble, generous and nice people all around (much better than some of the HK people I came across), I don't think I hold that much prejudice against mainland Chinese because nationality.

But from what I've seen in terms of Chinese culture (particularly), as the economic condition is moving forward, how come it stills look like the 16th century when it comes to extramarital relationships?!?!
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Old 02-22-2014, 12:28 PM
 
6,730 posts, read 6,619,367 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EggWaffle View Post
Ever seen a mistress going to work this early?


I never really been to mainland China before. But I live one of Southern California's large Asian communities and for the past ten years, the numbers of immigrants from mainland China pretty much skyrocketed here. Most of them more loaded than the locals. I hailed from HK and since I live here, I don't care much about the border issues between HK and the mainland and since I had mainland Chinese coworkers and friends who were educated, humble, generous and nice people all around (much better than some of the HK people I came across), I don't think I hold that much prejudice against mainland Chinese because nationality.

But from what I've seen in terms of Chinese culture (particularly), as the economic condition is moving forward, how come it stills look like the 16th century when it comes to extramarital relationships?!?!
I'm not sure what you mean by "look like the 16th century".

In China, some rich/powerful people have mistresses, so do rich/powerful men in the west. Ordinary people do not.
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Old 02-22-2014, 12:33 PM
 
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Traditional gender roles are much more accepted in China (and most of the world) than in the US. In the US women and men are raised identically with no emphasis on women's roles and men's roles.
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Old 02-22-2014, 12:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bideshi View Post
Traditional gender roles are much more accepted in China (and most of the world) than in the US. In the US women and men are raised identically with no emphasis on women's roles and men's roles.
It depends.
In China, much more girls study engineering and math than American girls (in terms of %).
In China, you can see more women bus drivers and plumbers.

However, Chinese women have very high expectations on their men, etc.
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Old 02-22-2014, 01:30 PM
 
164 posts, read 159,170 times
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Originally Posted by Bettafish View Post
I'm not sure what you mean by "look like the 16th century".

In China, some rich/powerful people have mistresses, so do rich/powerful men in the west. Ordinary people do not.

Rich and power men in the west do not flaunt their mistresses in the open nor do they collect them as children would with trading cards. How many western countries have "mistress villages"?

Actually, some of my ex-colleagues told me that they didn't want to return to China because they knew that their husbands would probably get a mistress when they return because every one that they knew would have an affair on the side no matter how loyal the husbands seemed.
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Old 02-22-2014, 07:52 PM
 
6,730 posts, read 6,619,367 times
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Originally Posted by EggWaffle View Post
Rich and power men in the west do not flaunt their mistresses in the open nor do they collect them as children would with trading cards. How many western countries have "mistress villages"?

Actually, some of my ex-colleagues told me that they didn't want to return to China because they knew that their husbands would probably get a mistress when they return because every one that they knew would have an affair on the side no matter how loyal the husbands seemed.
In China, very low % of men have mistresses too.
Plus, rich women in China keep handsome young lovers too. The term is er ye.

American men often have extramarital affairs, as we know.
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Old 02-22-2014, 10:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bideshi View Post
Traditional gender roles are much more accepted in China (and most of the world) than in the US. In the US women and men are raised identically with no emphasis on women's roles and men's roles.
This is so ridiculous that I'm not even sure where to begin. It's true that the western world is the first to implement the ideology of gender equality, but it only appears that way on the surface unfortunately. Perhaps you should read more blog entries like this:
A Highly Intelligent Woman Speaks Out | The Practical Free Spirit

I've only found one such post, but based on what I've observed personally I must say that I highly concur with what she wrote. Gender roles and expectations is very much still prevalent among a section of the US population, and I've never seen so much gender tension in any Chinese forums. People argue all the time about things like workplace discrimination and gender pay gap, and even members in facebook groups I joined keep starting threads about feminism. Like seriously. Even in forums discussing personality trait people still talk about how this personality will have a harder time as a male/female blah blah mumbo jumbo.
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Old 02-23-2014, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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I agree with what has been said. I've spoken with some Chinese who have lived here for many years, and they've mentioned the engineering thing, but they also notice, like me, that society is in some ways still quite gendered here in Australia. While yes, it's true there are some women who want to be dolled up wallet chasers like in Russia, I find in China, partly as a legacy of communism, the genders often seem MORE equal in terms of opportunities and relationships. Sure, traditional attitudes remain - sexism in the workplace, female infanticide/selective abortion, some men rejecting women for being too old or something - but on the whole, most Chinese women work, many support families, many are strong, assertive.etc, and many are not hung up about being 'feminine' like many in the West are. How often do you see women doing hard labouring jobs in wealthy Western nations?
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:38 AM
 
4,710 posts, read 3,626,130 times
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To add....if you pay attention to the many American shows, especially the reality shows, you will see that sexism, and the constant belittlement of women's intelligence, aspirations and roles are like a steady diet stream...force fed right into every little American girl and boy's heads. We just make all of it more glitzy and pretty, but it's there and just as strong as ever.

60 years of communism actually did so much for Chinese women. Their status was so low and miserable because the Republican government under the Nationalists before the communists were all traditionalists, just one step up from forced foot binding essentially. For all the faults of Mao, he liberated the women of China.
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Old 02-23-2014, 07:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pennyone View Post

60 years of communism actually did so much for Chinese women. Their status was so low and miserable because the Republican government under the Nationalists before the communists were all traditionalists, just one step up from forced foot binding essentially. For all the faults of Mao, he liberated the women of China.
Yep.
Women enjoy very high status in urban China nowadays. For one thing, they don't need to change their name after getting married. No woman does. speaking of which, may I ask how the status of women is still stuck in the 16th century in the west? I mean, you lose your family name by marrying a man?

It is actually remarkable how drastically women's social status changed in the past 60 years.
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