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Old 06-18-2014, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
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^definitely not in indonesia, only few ethnic group does it.
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:45 PM
 
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The muslim Filipinos in the south still practice this.
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Old 07-04-2014, 08:38 PM
 
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Probably in Muslim countries since women aren't allowed to go out with a non-relative male. There's no such thing as "dating" before marriage in their culture, I guess.
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:52 AM
 
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I know many Indian women in the United States whose parents arranged their marriages here. One was a young lady about 20 years old who is married to a doctor. She explained how it happens. She had veto power over anyone her parents selected. They have meetings, sitting at a table multiple times negotiating the marriage contract. Everything and anything is in the agreement. Hers included her going to college and being able to have a career. I'm sure it also included what age she'd have children, who did what housework, if there'd be hired help, how often they'd visit family, and a billion other things. If they couldn't come to an agreement on a point, they didn't get married. If either spouse didn't hold up their part of the agreement, they could get a divorce. I wondered how a 19 year old could know enough about life and marriage to negotiate the deal, and she said that both sets of parents guide them to make sure everything is included.

Sociologists have studied this. The spouses of arranged marriages do fall in love. The love is deeper than the infatuation love of the western world because there is a commitment before love and they are forced to work out problems. That's why the divorce rate is higher in the western world. People marry people who aren't good matches for their personalities. They think they are in love when they are only infatuated. They don't know how to work out problems.

I sort of wish there were arranged marriages. Our culture of expecting strangers to ask each other out and all the dating games that need to be navigated is very difficult for many people. Parents actually do know a thing or two about what personality traits would be a good match, and they do genuinely care about their children. As long as it's guided and not forced, I think arranged marriages have merit.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I sort of wish there were arranged marriages. Our culture of expecting strangers to ask each other out and all the dating games that need to be navigated is very difficult for many people. Parents actually do know a thing or two about what personality traits would be a good match, and they do genuinely care about their children. As long as it's guided and not forced, I think arranged marriages have merit.
No, you dont! A lot of these women deal with all types of physical and mental abuse for years and there is little they can do about it because divorce is frowned upon and both families are heavily involved in all aspects of the marriage.

I have heard about an Indian couple living here in the US, away from both families, where the wife was not allowed to work and the husband would stop giving her money every time she did something he did not like. It was almost like a Dad-daughter relationship and many of these Indian dudes treat their wives like dirt.
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
No, you dont! A lot of these women deal with all types of physical and mental abuse for years and there is little they can do about it because divorce is frowned upon and both families are heavily involved in all aspects of the marriage.

I have heard about an Indian couple living here in the US, away from both families, where the wife was not allowed to work and the husband would stop giving her money every time she did something he did not like. It was almost like a Dad-daughter relationship and many of these Indian dudes treat their wives like dirt.
That's a result of the culture, not the arranged marriages. They could work in more progressive cultures. Remember, there are many abused Western women who are in similar relationships. One of my wealthy American bosses didn't allow his wife to have access to any money. I'll never forget when she came to the office disappointed she had missed him before he left town because she didn't have even change to buy a soda at a convenience store. They lived in a huge house with horse stables, etc. Looked like a great life from the outside.
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
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Originally Posted by eugene_allen View Post
Probably in Muslim countries since women aren't allowed to go out with a non-relative male. There's no such thing as "dating" before marriage in their culture, I guess.
Yet as far as i know in Indonesia and Malaysia the Muslims does it, even in conservatives area.

Even the Hindu Bali didn't practice it either.
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:05 AM
 
Location: Mumbai
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In an India it is most common thing that parents arrange marriage of their children. It is part of Indian culture it not only bonding between that couple but also this relationship binds their both families.
Those ceremonies are included ethnic wearing like saree, lots of jewellery, some local bands etc..etc..
In ancient marriage ceremony was celebrated for 4-5 days,, Such a long time it was..
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Old 07-10-2014, 11:02 PM
 
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I live in Singapore, some Indonesian young women workers here date and have extramarital sex(husbands back in ID) with Singaporeans and foreigners(mostly Pakistani men). On Sundays when Indonesian women and others have holidays, these couple can be seen out everywhere and in love hotels of course. There are some Indoneisans in openly lesbian relations in Singapore as well.

Once they left Indonesia, they behave differently. And Indonesia is not as conservative as South Asia and the Middle East. Still, Indonesians marry very early and have families involved in chosing future spouses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eugene_allen View Post
Probably in Muslim countries since women aren't allowed to go out with a non-relative male. There's no such thing as "dating" before marriage in their culture, I guess.
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Old 07-10-2014, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
1,022 posts, read 3,144,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Britishairwayflcustomer View Post
I live in Singapore, some Indonesian young women workers here date and have extramarital sex(husbands back in ID) with Singaporeans and foreigners(mostly Pakistani men). On Sundays when Indonesian women and others have holidays, these couple can be seen out everywhere and in love hotels of course. There are some Indoneisans in openly lesbian relations in Singapore as well.

Once they left Indonesia, they behave differently. And Indonesia is not as conservative as South Asia and the Middle East. Still, Indonesians marry very early and have families involved in chosing future spouses.
Yes gay and lesbian somehow are "open" back in home country, but they often were frowned upon, in the capital its safer for them of course because majority of the population are relatively modern. But in conservative areas they really go underground especially Aceh, in other province at night you can see atleast them wearing girl dresses and selling their body lol.

Some of the women goes "nikah siri" or marriage by the right of audience of minimum 5, so they can consumate in a "halal" way, this is often happen for husband seeking 2nd wife. Although the women didn't liked 2nd wife of course and may get a divorce if he does it, there aren't that a lot of people who have 2nd wife either as far as i know. But other than that lots of Indonesian dates one another and i know a lot who have sex even without marriage. If this happen in the villages though, the guy may get beaten up by the populace.

Oh and you practically aren't allowed to live together in Indonesia, if you aren't married, except Bali.
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